You're So Vain
by megg626
Summary: With Voldemort on the rise and losing her best friend to the Maurauders, what does Katrina Heartfaw do? It's dangerous in the walls of Hogwarts and outside it, but to add love to the mix of things? It's like hating Sirius Black isn't hard enough...
1. Let me introduce myself

I absolutely, positively, and unrevocably hate Remus Lupin.

Well for right now.

My ex-best friend just stood there, and didn't say anything when they made fun of you wondering who they are?

Their names tap into the gap reflex, and make my skin crawl...How I hate with a passion Sirius Black and James Potter. The supposed 'Maurauders' dubbed themselves that in third year for all the mischeif they got into. How does one person break their own detention records? It surprises me that Black even has a life with how much time they spend in detention. And it's not even like they're stupid! Black and Potter keep out doing Lily and I every single year! I am not the kind of person to dwell on the fact that an E could be and O, but being second best to the 'Maurauders' just makes me that way!

Hating them for being smart and slick makes me look stuck up, but they are not the only reasons I hate them. See, I knew Remus way way way back before we even came to Hogwarts. My father was a healer and he wasn't afraid of anything. He also doesn't judge anyone. But what does that have to do with anything? Well, when Remus was bit by Fenrir Greyback, his parents were so scared that he was going to die. But my father just explained to them about the full-moon cycle. Remus' parents didn't seem to let up, as a matter of fact they seemed to get worse. They hated Remus for what he was, but they were his only support system. He came by regularly to check up with my father, to take a potion to heal his scars. It was during those times that he and I became friends. It took such a long time because Remus thought the world hated him and he didn't want to endanger me. He was very secretive about it. I called it his furry little problem. But in third year, the Maurauders found out about his secret. For some very odd reason, I was so pissed because they knew about Remus' 'furry little problem'. I feel sorry for ever mentioning it in front of James because he took it from me. It was my idea! Now the idiots are trying to transform into animagi...see what I mean? They're smart but they're stupid too. They'll be putting themselves in danger almost once a month when they transform.

We used to hang out all the time, but now all he wants to do is be friends with them. He even lets them get away with everything they do, even now that he's a prefect!

As usual, the Maurauders got the best of me. But what else can I do? It's not like I can pretend like they didn't steal my best friend, and then harass me every day. I can't even hang out with Lily anymore without the distinct fear of James popping out of every corner. They make me so sick.

"Katrina!" Oh sweet Merlin and anyone else who can save me... Why does Sirius Black have to pester me? Is it too much to ask for a little maturity?

I do believe we started off on the wrong foot. My name is Katrina Hartfaw, A sixth year here at Hogwarts, and current residence of Gryffindor. My best friends consist of Lily Evans and Remus Lupin...well for right now I completely hate him.

Lily Evans has been my friend since the first trainride to Hogwarts. She has long red hair, beautiful green eyes, and is average height. She's really funny, pretty, smart, and sometimes can be a little sharp. Especially when it comes to James Potter. We both agree that he and Sirius have too big of heads.

Remus Lupin...well you know all about him now. He's a werewolf and friends with my worst enemies. He has sandy blonde hair, very tall, and has scars of his face. He's pretty handsome, but not in the overtly way of Sirius Black. Athough he tolerates their behavior, he's a bookworm and a stickler for rules.

James Potter is the Maurauders ringleader. He has messy, jet black hair and lopsided glasses. He has a Qudditch pysque and is taller than Remus. Oddly enough, he's intelligent and one of the top students in our year.

I've totally forgot Peter Pettigrew, but he's extremely quiet, even around James and Sirius. He doesn't say much but he does participate in jokes.

And now....the one and only Sirius Black. That long black hair and stormy grey eyes sets off every woman within twenty feet of him. Except me. He's the tallest of the four, and is more built than James, but he likes to play girls instead of sports. Just like James, Sirius is one of the top students in our year. The fact that really pisses me off because I think God was playing favorites when he made him. Handsome and smart? Get Real. Only in a fairy tale.

So now you've met the majority of the people in my life. Let's continue with my story.

I was innocently reading a book with Remus at the library. We have a paper due in a week and I like to have it finished early. When I was almost done my rough draft, who should appear but the infamous Maurauders. They saunter in like the own the place, James striding towards us like it's the Qudditch pitch. Sirius was flirting with every girl he passed, winking and flashing his dazzling smile. Peter was the only normal one of the bunch. He was just walking, not taking in his surroundings.

Once they reached our table, Sirius straddles a chair, James grabs Remus' book, and Peter stands by, watching.

"Remus, we want to prank the Slytherins." James said.

"James, keep the plans quiet in front of her." Sirius nodded his head in my direction, abruptly shutting James up.

"Why don't you go and found something else to do. We have things to talk about." Sirius said, while snatching my book out of my hands. Madam Pince 'shh-ed' us.

"You can't just make me leave. I was here first." I tried to snatch my book back, but even sitting down I was still short.

"Still working on the properties of moonstones, are you?" He and James shared a laugh. "James and I finished that yesterday."

"It was assigned to day, you dolt." I said, glancing at my planner to double check. Yes it was assigned today. Even if they are smart, they cannot predict the future.

"Well James and I snuck into Slughorn's office on Saturday. We found his planner and noted when pop quizzes, tests, and when we can't use the potions book to make potions. I could tell you, you know, if you leave..." Sirius trailed off, winking at me.

"Ew. How about you tell Remus later? I'm a little busy because unlike some people, I just found out about the assignment today." I said, pressing my quill to my parchment....only to find it taken away abruptly by Sirius. He looked it over and smiled.

"With this work, you might slid with an Acceptable. The moonstones don't shine in the moon..." He said shaking his head.

"Uh, ya, you dolt. They do. Moonstones. _Moonstones _do shine in the moonlight, and only the monnlight. It says so on page 604 in _Potions Mastered. _Do you even read books? Or do you just make it up?" I sighed, and reached for my parchment. He raised it higher and smiled.

"Beg." He said, raising it even higher.

"Are we going to play these games all day?" I reached for my wand. Thinking 'Accio', my books and parchment were suddenly in my hands. Sirius frowned.

"Aw and it was so much fun playing with you." He winked.

Looking down to start were I finished off, I found that my entire essay was gone save for my name and subject.

"What the..." Words started to form on the parchment.

_I, Padfoot, believe Katrina Hartfaw is a goody twoshoes priss._

_I, Prongs, agree with Padfoot in all it's entirity. Katrina Hartfaw is ruining our dear Remus. She's not even giving him anything._

_I'm with you there, Prongs. He's not even getting any from this beautiful girl. But who could blame him? She's as boring as a log._

I laughed. No seriously, I cracked up laughing. This was just too precious. James and Sirius shot each other confused looks.

"What is so funny?" Sirius asked.

"You actually think of Remus and I like that? Get real." I continued to laugh. Remus, confused, looked at the parchment and then turned a bright red.

"Well, maybe you would be if you weren't so boring." James said, smirking.

"Yeah, Yeah, whatever. Sorry I don't fit into your non-stop partying but someone has to be grown up. Surely, you might have learned that from dear Lily-Flower." I smiled at James' embarassed expression. Sirius on the other hand was irate.

"can you just leave? No one wants you here. We have buisness to do and you are holding us up."

"Are you stupid? Do you think I won't tell Professor McGonagall that you guys are going to prank the Slytherins?" I asked, a little surprised I would even take that route. I'm not a tattle-tale, but somehow it felt like a last resort when it came to the Maurauders. Remus was looking at me, asking me if I would really. I was about to say no, when Sirius interupted me.

"If you tell McGonagall, I'll tell Chase that you fancy him." Sirius said smirking. Holy Merlin. How did he know?!!

"Excuse me, creeper, how would you know?" I asked, trying to supress my anger.

"You left your beautiful diary out on the table." He smiled and reached into his robes. More than anything, I was humiliated. I wrote my most personal thoughts in there, and now he knows all about them! I glanced at Remus to see if he knew about this, but from his drooping head, I would say yes.

"Wow." I snatched my diary from Sirius as I stood up, shaking my head and gathering my things. When Sirius spoke, he had a triumphant air to it.

"By the way, Do you really think my hair is lustrious?" How embarassing!

"Are you kidding me?" I said, looking at Remus. He didn't even look at me. "Have a nice life Remus."

"Katrina..." He groaned, motioning to get up.

"No don't even worry about it Remus. Why would I expect my best friend to stand for me at least?" I walked out before anything else could be said. I was just so embarassed that my enmity knew everything that I thought. Just thinking about it made me want to crawl into a hole. He even knew I liked Chase Werth, the second best looking guy in the school.

Guess who's the first.

The second I was out of sight of the library, I raced to the Gryffindor tower, and ran up to the girls dormitory. Lily Evans was sitting there, writing her essay.

"Let me guess...Potter was in the library?" It's like she knew everything.

"How do you...?"

"Potter was harassing me earlier and I accidently slipped that I was going to go to the library. So i stayed up here." She looked up at me. "What's wrong?" She slid her essay aside and motioned for me to sit down.

"Never guess who knows my deepest darkest secrets..." I said, throwing my diary at her. She caught it and frowned.

"Sirius?" See, I told you!

"Is it that obvious?" I sighed, playing with my nails.

"Well yes. He is the only one who can corrupt your good mood. So he knows about Chase, how much you hate him, how you feel about Remus..."

"Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow...woah." I stopped her and held up my hands. "How I feel about Remus? Surely your talking about best friends." I said, try ing to reassure my self this truth.

"If it makes you happy for me to lie to you, than sure." She smiled.

"Lily." I groaned. "Lying? Just get out with it."

"Look, it's obvious to everyone that you like Remus, and he likes you too. Everyone can see it. Even Sirius. So it's easier to get under your skin with stuff about Remus because Sirius knows you care about him."

"As a friend."

"More than a friend." Lily said, sighing.

"Please, kill me. I really don't like Remus like that. Seriously."

"Well than, prove it." Lily said, and I sat up.

"What?"

"Prove that you don't like Remus."

"How?" I asked, startled.

"Kiss him." She said, completely unflustered.

"How does that prove..." I was hyperventialating.

"It just does. Trust me." She said, getting up and going into the bathroom.

How in the world was that going to go down???

* * *

**New story. I might touch up I Want To Master Life and Death, but it's unlikely. I'll work on this one now.**

**As always, your comments help me out. Tell me what you think!**

**Lovelovelovelove,**

**meghan**


	2. Life Ruiner

It was the last Friday of September that Professor Slughorn delievered the blow that altered my life.

This is no joke. I will take an oath on it. Slughorn literally ruined my entire life.

"I will be choosing potion parteners. It has become clear that if you must make it through this intense course, than you must be able to concentrate." I snorted mentally. Concentrate with someone other than Lily? Unlikely.

Before the big explosion between her and Severus, all three of us were potions parteners. We always received an Outstanding on every potion, homework assignment, and test. But I must say that even without them, I would still do good. Working with potions comes with the family business.

"So I've made my list and I would like you all to start working immediately on the sleeping potion when you have your parteners. Rest assured, this is only a test run. Should you like to change your parteners at the end of the semester, just let me know. But it goes to the majority." He smiled. "Everyone gathered your things?" We all said yes. Well it was friday afternoon, so it was more like 'ehhh'. I glanced at Lily to see her exchanging glances with remus. He was motioning towards me, making hand gestures I could not begin to interpet.

"Lily..."I said, chiding her. She gave Remus a final huff and turned around.

"It's for your own good you know." When I gave her a credulous look, she continued. "Look, remember what I said last night?" I nodded, desperate to move on so no one could overhear. "Ignoring Remus won't make anything better. It will only make it worse."

"You're telling me that ignoring the man who won't even stand up for his best friend-"

"crush..." Lily interjected.

"Best Friend..." I continued as if I hadn't heard her. "Is a bad thing? Or, better yet, completely ignoring him and his friends who terrorize me on a daily basis is bad? Lily, your smart and everything, but truly, ignorance is simply better." Lily opened her mouth to argue, but Slughorn called for the class to simmer down.

"Okay, now let's see..." He put on his bi-focals and scanned through the list. "Yes, Pettigrew and Smittens." I supressed a smiled. Smittens was in our dormitory and tried to tell all the teachers to call her by her first name. Smittens really doesn't go with the 'i-hate-life' look she has. Peter shrugged and moved over to her.

"Lupin and Terra" A girl in Hufflepuff moved over. She had stars in her eyes as Remus sat down next to her. When he said hello, she giggled. I thought I tasted vomit.

"Lily, ohmysweetsweetmerlin..." I looked behind me to see the one and only....

Sirius Black.

I screamed. Everyone stared at me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, startled beyond belief.

"I'm your Potion's partener...." He said, trailing off. There was a moment of silence.

"Alright. You got me. Haha. You can go back to Potter now." I siad, opening my book.

"I'm serious." He said, with a dead-on expression. But truthfully, six years of school with these guys teaches you to never believe them.

"I know who you are. I'm Katrina. Good joke now go back to Potter." He smirked at my lame-ass joke.

"No, seriously. I'm your partener."

"Alright, Black. Whatever you say." I said, turning the pages to the potion. I was not aware that everyone was staring at us.

"Katrina..."

"Heartfaw and Black. Is there a problem?" Slughorn said, waddling over towards us.

"Yes, sir. Black seems to think he is my potions partener." I laughed. Slughorn looked down his list, and then stared at me.

"He is your potions partener." Another moment of silence.

"Are you all in on this? Because alright. The gig is up. Really." I said, starting to get a little annoyed.

"Ms. Heartfaw, look." He showed me the list....and sure enough I saw our names next to each other. I grabbed the list out of his hands.

"What..." I started to take a deep intake of breaths. "Oh dear. There is a mistake. Black cannot be my potions partener. He can't."

"Talk to me at the end of the semester, Ms. Heartfaw."

"You don't understand I hate him. I think I'm going to go nuts just sitting next to him." Slughorn walked away, shaking his head. "Oh dear." I was hyperventialating (again) and Lily came over, smiling.

"This isn't funny!" I cried. I hate my life.

"It so is. ANd you say I overreact with Potter."

"But you fancy him!" I hissed. Lily shook her head.

"I do not. Seriously."

"Whatever, Lily-flower. Go back to your snog partener. Oops. I meant potions partener..." I said.

"You know, you're really harsh when you get mad." She said, still smiling.

The class started to talk loudly now, and I turned around to glance at my partener, who, sure enough, was looking at me.

"I don't want you to loose your sanity and everything, but-"

"I lost my sanity the second you popped into my life."

"Ouch." He said, snickering.

"Black, I truly detest you, you know that right?" He laughed.

"And I love you too."

"You're making my skin crawl...again." I said, dramatically rubbing my skin.

"Want me to do that?"

"I think that if you touch me, I would not only burn, but would throw up." He shook his head and smiled.

"Do you really hate me that much?"

"Words cannot explain the deep enmity I feel for you." I said, searing him with my most hateful expression.

"I'll take it as your proclaimation of love, dear." He said, smiling.

"I swear to Merlin that if you ever use me and loving you in the same sentence again, you will not wake up the next day." I said, clutching the desk.

"As much as I love this chit chat, I really think we should start our potion." he said, standing up.

"Oh, he actually does something."

Sirius laughed and wen to the broom cupboard. I turned on the flame and put our cauldron on top of it. I glanced at Lily to see if she and Potter were getting along as well as Black and I, but to my intese surprise, I saw them laughing about something. They worked well together.

Told you she fancies him. She will never hear the end of this.

Sirius returned with all the supplies. We immediately got to work without talking to each other.

Five minutes before the bell, we were done and packed away, looking around at everyone else who still seemed to be working on their potion. Remus and Layla were all smiley and giggly and blah! It made me sick. Lily and James were packing up, and just chatting away. I supressed my displeasure. Was I the only one who hated my partener.

Thankfullly I did not have to dwell on my misgivings. The bell rang and I ran out.

Not because I couldn't stand Sirius Black, but because Chase Werth always passed this corridor on the way to his common room.

I leaned against the pillar outside of the dungeons. Looking at the swarm of students. The mess of dark brown hair caught my eye and I looked over at him. He was tall, at least taller than the people around him, and had piercing blue eyes that made me quiver. He didn't even look over at me, which I didn't mind. I liked it better that way.

"Enjoying the view?" I turned around smack-dab into some very muscualar chest. It was nice and firm and chiseled and it...

was Sirius Black. I just appreciated his body. My mind was convulsing.

"Got caught, red-handed." He smirked. I literally had to tilt my head all the way up just to look in his eyes.

"I didn't know you were a fan of Severus!" I said, trying to hide my motives.

"Hardly. I'm a Werth fan, really. Look at those dreamy eyes." He said looking above me.

"Yeah. sure. We're talking about his sister, right?" I said. Chase had a sister named Sandra. She was notrious with the boys. Nonetheless, everyone loved her but she's a complete bitch.

"Yep. The one who will share a broom cupboard with me tonight. All the beautiful things that a man and women do....with two beautiful people..."

"I just threw up." I said, smirking. He looked down at me.

"Of course, you really don't know anything about that, young and so very innocent."

"I'm the same age as you, idiot." I said, shaking my head.

"I could teach you how, but-"

"My body will go up in flames-"

"Remus already claimed that territory so..." He shrugged.

"It's either Chase or Remus. I can't like two guys."

"Really? And I was so under the impression that you loved me."

"Black we discussed this. If you touch me, than I would die." I said, completely exasperated.

"How old are we?" He said, smirking. "I'm giving you a hint here."

"For what?! I wasn't aware that we were playing Clue!" I said, annoyed.

"What?" He said, confused.

"It's a muggle game. Of course...you wouldn't know it." I said.

"Well, anyway....All I'm trying to say is that you can't expect Remus to hang around long if you don't give him anything. It's not how we roll." He said, shrugging.

"How we roll? We being the Maurauders, right?"

"You've heard of us?" He said, teasing me.

"Cute." I said, than I stopped smiling. "Remus isn't like you...at all. Unlike you, he respects women, he follows the rules and he's just an all around good friend. Don't categorize him with you, because although you may be friends, he is completely the opposite of you."

"Is that why you like him?" Sirius asked, tilting his head.

"Yes."

Wait...what?

"Wait, wait. No. I mean. I like him. As a friend."

"A friend...right." He said, rolling his eyes.

"Right. A friend. My best friend. Well right now he's totally not."

"Because he wouldn't stand up for poor poor Katrina?" he mocked.

"Exactly!" I exclaimed, throwing up my hands. "I mean, being friends is about loyalties." I huffed.

"You like him."

"As a friend."

"No you like-like him." He smirked.

"How old are we?" I said, mocking him now. He grinned.

"You want to snog him and shag him and do things beautiful people do together." He said, all sing-songy.

Laughing and shaking my head, I said, "Not all that..."

"You might be innocent and everything but really, what girl does not want a nice shaggin once in a while?"

"Me." I said, raising my hand.

"That's okay. When you start, you just can't stop." He winked.

"Sure."

"And Remus goes strong."

My eyes widened. "How would you know??!"

"Trust me, I've been around to hear things from girls..."

"Remus is a virgin." Sirius started cracking up laughing. I was positive about this one. I knew Remus well enough to know this.

"Are you serious? Remus? Please! This dude is an animal." He said, still laughing.

"Nice choice of words," I said, smiling.

"Just ask him. Or is my little kitty scared?" He purred.

"Kitty?" I asked, appalled.

"Short for Kat which is short for Katrina."

"I have a nickname?"

"It's my very own." He smiled at me.

Wait a moment....am I being nice to Sirius??? Is this world ending?

Well to save my mind, I would have to answer yes. Because if this world was still going round and round, I would be killing Black by now.

"i got to go." I said, stepping back.

"Same. Sandra and I have to-"

"Do what beautiful people do?" I said, winking at him. He laughed.

"That's all right. I'll just tell Remus when you'll be available. Make-up sex is the best." I blushed and turned around, walking away. No, I don't like him...but talking about sex with Sirius Black is like...well I really don't know. It is a little uncomfortable to say the least.

Since the corridors were empty, I took my time walking. Usually I would run to each class, hating being stuck behind slow people. But I'm all alone, basking in the awesomeness that comes with alone time. All alone...just me and some nice looking man...wait...he wasn't there a moment ago...

He resembled Sirius. Same long black hair, same chiseled body...

"I thought you were going to...." When he turned around, I saw how different they were. Where Sirius was arrogant, he was chill. Sirius' eyes were always downcast, his were bright and smiling. Even his voice was like honey.

"Excuse me?" He trilled. Oh jeez....beautiful man....

"Um, I thought you were...."

"Sirius. yeah, I tend to get that a lot. I'm his brother, Regulus." He said. I nodded.

"Right. I'm Katrina Heartfaw."

"I don't know where he's at. But it doesn't surprise me that he's running late for a meeting with a beautiful girl." Wait. He just called me beautiful!!! aw! I snorted! I overexaggerated by looking around and behind me.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to see who you are talking too." He laughed, and so did I.

Glancing at my watch I realized it was dinnertime.

"I have to go to the Great Hall."

"So do I." He smiled. "Let's go together" He jumped off of the window sill and came by my side.

"Does being tall run in your family?" I asked, annoyed that I was like twenty feet smaller than him.

He laughed again. Walking to the Hall, we were silent. I didn't say much and neither did he. But it wasn't awkward. It was nice. When we parted before the Hall, he grabbed my hand and kissed it.

"Have a good night." He smiled. I smiled too. He walked in, and after a moment of gathering myself, I bounded into the hall, bursting with smiles and giggles.

Lily looked at me and smiled.

"New boy?" She should take Trelawney's position.

"Maybe." I said, putting food on my plate.

"Regulus Black?" She whispered.

"How do you know?!" I aksed, dropping my fork.

"He just walked in. Then in you come all smiley and happy."

"Was he all smiley and happy too?" I said in a very girly fashion.

"Yes." Lily replied and I giggled. Lily laughed at my girliness.

"You're nice when you're in the new crush stage. It's very adorable. So how's Remus?" Lily said, trying to burst my bubble.

"I wouldn't know." I said, glancing down the table to find the Maurauders all intently talking. Remus glanced and smile and gave me a small, sad smile. Which I ignored by turning my head.

"Katrina. Give the man the benefit of the doubt!" Lily said a little loudly.

"I will not!" I replied just as loud. Some heads turned our way.

"Katrina, I thought we discussed about Re-"

"LILY! Later!" I hissed to shut her up. When i looked, everyone turned back around. The Maurauders were staring at us, and Sirius waggled his eyebrows and whispered to Remus who turned read. I groaned.

Did he have to be such a prat?

* * *

WOW! Two chapters in one day! That's awesome!

Not much to say here, it's just the beginning afterall.

But please comment!

lovelovelove,

Megg


	3. Makeout, Stakeouts, and Going out

"You're a man-eater." Lily, said, as we were walking the grounds one evening. She was a prefect, but I had nothing better to do, so I came along.

"I...what?" I asked, confused.

"Never mind. You can't have all these men."

"They're not mine. I am merely appreciating their very good looks. You know, they might look like frogs, but one of them could be my prince."

"Again, man-eater." Lily said, shaking her head.

"Look, it's only Chase...really. Regulus just looks good."

"Regulus looks a hell of a lot like Sirius if you ask me...Do you-?"

"If you finish that sentence, I will feed you to the thestrals."

"Thestrals don't eat people. Don't scurry around the bush. Answer me."

"I honest to Merlin hate him so much. He gets under my skin and ugh! God hates me so much." I said.

"Jesus, Katrina. You cannot like four guys." I stopped. What?

"Excuse me, Lily? I've counted two." Lily noticed that I wasn't next to her and she turned around.

"Okay Chase Werth. You like him because he's hot."

"Yes. Continue."

"Regulus Black. You like him because he is good to look at."

"You're making me sound shallow."

"Remus Lupin. You like him because there is more to it than looks."

"I will never admit that I actually like him. But go on." I was actually afraid of what she would say next.

"Sirius Black. Not only is he hotter than hell, but he makes you squirm and you're sick enough to like it."

I opened my mouth to say something, but thought against it. Instead I turned around and started to walk away.

"Katrina, don't get mad at me, okay? I'm simply pointing out the obvious." Lily said, trying to catch up to me.

"If I can't even convince my best friend that I do not like my enemy, what's the point? Say what you like, but honestly I hate him. I truly do. I really don't fell like losing another best friend to those damned poeple."

"Okay, Katrina. Calm down." I was aware of how keyed up I was. I needed to get away before I actually said something to ruin our friendship.

"I'm going to bed."

"It's only seven o'clock."

"Maybe one of my men will join me in a broom closet before I go. Or would that be too slutty?" I cocked an eyebrow at her, and she turned around, walking away.

"Just go to bed, cranky pants." I couldn't suppress my smile at that one.

It was odd to see that no one was in the halls, even if it was two hours before curfew. It was a nice and warm Thursday evening in the beginning of October. I soon found myself outside, walking the grounds. But even if my mind was wheeling a thousand miles a hour, I would not let myself think. My mind likes to make decisions I don't like, and I can't change them. But thankfully, I really didn't have to think. Some lovers were intently making out, and when I walked by I had to hold back the vomit. Just guess who it was.

Sirius. With his new chick, Sandra Werth.

I could not even describe the position they were in. No, they were not having sex, but holy merlin, they should just get to it. I literally ran away, thoroughly annoyed at this, for a reason I could not even explain.

And then I walked into the corridor with Chase Werth and his friends.

They were laughing loudly, and Chase was making some joke.

"Seriously! She's nice-looking and all, but she wouldn't even put out! Honestlly!" He said, laughing along with his friends. "We were dating for three months and she got all wierd everytime I touched her. So I dumped her. I was not dating a prude."

Ah. Chase Werth. I have a saying about the two dominant men of Hogwarts: You go in a virgin, and come out a slut. See, Chase Werth is no different than Sirius. Except for that fact he doesn't torture me on a daily basis. But every girl he dates has to put out, or there is no relationship. I wonder why girls even date him...

But that's why my crush is a secret. It would cause messes that I couldn't handle.

Now all I had to do was walk past them without being noticed.

Just one foot in front of the -

"Hey!" Chase yelled towards me. I stopped. He wasn't talking to me...he didn't even know me.

And sure enough, to make this situation even more harder, my lovely enemy came strolling in.

"Yo, Sandra! Sirius!" I groaned. And then I felt someone's hand on my lower back which made me jump. I turned and saw a smiling Sirius, with a lustful look in his eyes. Didn't he just have his share? I was starting to back up but Sirius gently held me up.

"Oh no, dear," He whispered real low. "Come join the big guys." I stiffened. No way. I knew everything he was implying and I could not go. Suddenly, fessing up to liking Remus seemed the better route.

"I'm a little late." I said, trying to get myself out of this situation.

"For what?" He asked, a smile playing on his lips.

"Detention with McGonagall." I said, the idea forming in my head.

"You're a coward, my littly kitty. Scared of what we have to offer..." He smiled, shaking his head.

"I'd rather be known as a coward than as a slut." I said, holding my breath. Sirius was too close and I wondered if anyone else noticed his disappearance. A shocked look graced his features.

"Listen, Kitty, my offer to teach you some plays is still up for grabs. I have some free time."

"Didn't you already have enough? Or is your ten knut whore not enough to fill the dogstar?" He chuckled at my witty comeback.

"It is never enough. I'll just tell Chase that you were to scared to play around with him." And with that, he walked away. I was not such an idiot to actually stay there if Sirius decided to out me. Should me luck have it, that I run into the one and only Remus Lupin.

Again, now I'd rather wrestle a tiger.

What's with it tonight and me running into everyone I've been trying to ignore?

"Listen, Katrina..."

I haven't talked to Remus in the month that passed since the incident. He did make his attempts, but I've blown him off every time. It's been really hard because I just wanted to be friends again. I was really over it all. But then Sirius' taunting face blurred my vision and I hated Remus all over again.

I was not aware of sprinting past him, trying to find safe ground, but Remus was just as fast and caught hold of me before I could slip away.

"Katrina, I am sorry that I didn't stand up for you, okay? I've told Sirius about it, but you know him..." I shook him off.

"It's not the fact that he even said anything. I know how Sirius is. It's the fact that you couldn't even defend your best friend, Remus. I would defend you against any of my friends. And I have. No matter what the cost was. You and Lily are more important to me than anyone else. I would never stand around while someone was talking about you. Never." Remus' face fell during my small tirade, but I didn't feel guilty in the slightest.

"I am sorry. I should have said something."

"Yes, you should have. Just like any other time when you let them get away with things that are against the rules."

"Katrina, I really don't know what you want me to say or do! In all honestly, I know I was a prick and I know you need time to start trusting me again, but why are you putting me through this? I can't change time and I already talked to Sirius about it!"

"Because he had my diary and you did nothing! Because he was talking about me and you said nothing! I'm not asking for you to alter the universe, Remus, I'm asking you to be a good friend! Is that too much to ask?"

"NO, Katrina, it isn't. Can you just forgive me and move on?

"I don't know. Are you going to start defending me? Is your friendship with the Maurauders worth more than mine?"

"Are you asking me to choose? Because they have been great friends! They even changed into animagi for me!"

It was like a slap in the face. Or, more precisely, I would of rather him to slap me. I knew what they were doing, but I never expected Remus to compare values like this. I was extremely hurt that he said that, and without further ado, I walked away with as much calm as I could hold. Remus followed.

"Katrina, wait!" He said, regret in his tone. But I refused to even acknowledge it. I needed some serious space. I walked all the way down into the dungeons. And Remus still followed.

"Are we going to cover the entire castle before you talk to me?" He asked. I stopped, and whirled around.

"You can go back to your friends, Lupin. I don't want anything to do with you anymore." I shot him my nastiest look, and hurt fell upon his face. Slowly, he turned around and walked away, his shoulders slumped.

Now I was all alone in the dungeons...what a stupid way to avoid your friend. It looked like no one was in the halls, but then again, fate loves to mess with me.

I think it hates me.

Because my lovely fourth man was walking all by himself.

"Heyy, Heartbreaker." He said with a perfect smile and ease.

"What are you doing, walking all alone?" I asked Regulus, trying to conceal my glee.

"I could ask you the same question, but then you would tell me you are meeting your boyfriend and then I'd get jealous. So let's leave it anonymous. Come here often?" I giggled. He was so cute.

"I so do not have a boyfriend."

"That is probably the best news of my life." Regulus countered, smiling.

"And I come here every day to have potions with Slughorn."

"Oh, enchanting. So do I." I giggled again. His talk was very proper, and I was endeared my him.

"So again, may I ask you what you were doing down here?" I asked.

"Qudditch practice. We are so going to cream the Gryffindors, no offense." He smiled.

"None taken." I said, giggling.

"So may I ask you what you are doing down here?" He asked, leaning casually against a pillar.

"Running from everyone."

"My lovely brother?"

"One of them..." I said, trailing off.

"Can I ask you something?" He said, pushing off the wall, and motioning for me to walk with him.

"Sure." I said, smiling.

"You said you have no boyfriend, right?" I nodded. "Then where does Remus fit into the whole situation?" Lily...how does she know everything? She said everyone thinks we like each other and...well no. I am going to set him straight.

"We are just..." I thought of something that would fit our current relationship. "just acquaintences. Nothing more. Never was, never will be."

"Sirius?"

"Sorry, but I despise him."

"Anyone else I should know about?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

For a brief moment, Chase flashed before my mind. But thinking that Sirius probably took care of that one for me, I quickly nixed it.

"Nope."

"So you're free for this Saturday?" I blinked.

"What's this Saturday?" I asked.

"The first Hogsmeade visit. Can you come with me?" I smiled, as did he.

"I'd like that." I said, giggling.

"Good." Looking around, I noticed we were not in the dungeons anymore, and that the entrance to the Great Hall was looming in our view.

"So, this is where we part." Regulus said, smiling. He took my hand and kissed it.

And I thought that out of all the encounters of the night, this one looked the most promising.

* * *

I wrote this for my reviewer to simply show the difference in all the guys. I know you might think she likes all of them, but Katrina is simply a maneater.

And kind of shallow.

So this chapter was to show you the frogs versus' the princes.

And, thank you for reviewing!!!

Love,

Megg


	4. Inferno

When i woke up Saturday morning, I glanced out my window. It was a crisp autumn morning, and the leaves were already turning into that nice autumn color I liked. Then, I remembered what today was. It was the first Hogsmeade visit.

Or more importantly, my date with Regulus.

Excitement ran through me as I jumped out of bed and got showered.

To answer any questions, I have kissed boys before. Well, two. But neither was the fairy tale experience.

My first was Remus, surprisingly. But we were ten, and didn't know any better. We were walking around in our local park, and then we saw a couple, kissing. Wondering what they were doing, we imitated them. Since we were so young and stupid, we actually bit each other. I had a swollen lower lip for a week. But that was when I started to like Remus as a little more than a friend. Fortunately, we were not stupid enough to try that again. When we finally learned what we did, it was an uncomfortable talk to say the least.

My second kiss was with Ryan Shafield. It was last year right after the O.W.L examinations. Ryan was a seventh year in Ravenclaw. I didn't nessescarily have a crush on him, but he was pretty good looking. Plus, he was one of Chase's friends. Me being the stupid blonde idiot I am, thought that by getting with him, Chase might know of my existence. That did not happen. We were making out and Ryan kept pushing it further and further. I kept stopping him but truthfully, I wanted to get out of the broom closet so bad. After about the tenth time of pushing his hands off from me, he got pissed.

"Why did you even come tonight?" He asked, pushing away from me and running a hand through his hair. I was a little confused.

"Because I wanted to make-out..." I stated the obvious, but Ryan got even more mad.

"No, You said you wanted to hook-up. That meant sex." I couldn't help the slight flush that was creeping up. To be clear, I was a little prude-ish when it came to sex.

"Well, I wasn't aware of your defintion. I meant make-out. Not sex." He snorted and shook his head.

"Well this was a waste. I'd call you a slut, but seeing how you didn't put out..." And with that he walked out of the broom cupboard.

Thankfully, I didn't see him much afterward. The only time I did have to face him was when he was being helped to the hospital wing. Some red headed maniac casted a boil spell and boils were all over his body.. Lily still wasn't satisfied after his public humiliation.

So anyways, my kisses didn't go so well. And as much as I wanted to kiss Regulus, I think that I'd rather wait. Diaster has a funny way to appear even in the best of situations.

* * *

"Lily..." I growled on our way to Hogsmeade. I was wearing jeanes, a white tank top with a pastel orange cardigan, and converse sneakers. Muggle styles are just so cool and way more efficent than wearing robes all the time.

"Just hold on." She said impatiently. She kept fixing her hair, trying to make it look perfect. She had a date with some kid from Ravenclaw. I wanted to ask Lily what James thought of it, but then she would taunt me about Regulus. Quite frankly, I was nervous as it was.

Finally, after hours and hours of waiting, we got out of the blessed carriage.

Well maybe it was ten minutes. And the carriage was most certainly not blessed. It smelled and the idea of thestrals pulling still gives me the jitters.

"Okay so this is where we part...." Lily said, hugging me quickly. "I want details too of every single thing that happens. I'll see you at dinner!" She said, rushing towards some kid.

i had no idea what to expect with my date with Regulus. He told me to meet him at Honeydukes and that was that. I had to wonder if he would be with his friends. Truthfully, I did not like any of them. Once upon a time, I liked Severus but that was before the incident with Lily. All his friends were creeps.

Oh man...what if Regulus was a creep? Oh Merlin, this was a bad idea. I should just go to a carriage and go to my dormitory. I should not make eye contact with Regulus ever again. I should avoid any confrontation with him. Just turn around and walk away...it's easy. Just like the other night...one foot in front of the other-

"Hey Heartbreaker," Regulus' smiled eased my mind back into normal mode a little. Just a little. His hand rested on my shoulder, which held me in place. It was like he knew I was going to run away.

"You ready?" He asked me, eyebrow raised. My heart was beating a thousand miles per hour. I swear, it's like one little notion from this dude sends me into cartiact assault or whatever the muggles call it. What has gotten in me? Where was my coolness? Oh right. I have none. Taking a deep breath I answered his question quickly.

"What are we going?" I said. My body was relaxing some, but Regulus putting his arm around my shoulders didn't help matters. In fact, I thought I might pass out.

"Well, the Three Broomsticks is bound to be crowded. I don't know about you, but I hate crowds," He looked down at me and smiled. I hated crowds too. "So, I think we're going to head to Madame Pudifoots and have some butterbeer. I'm not a tea or coffee person either." Neither was I! We have so much in common. I was trying to respond to him, but it was like my mouth couldn't move. And if it did, well...let's not go there.

"So..." I instantly felt stupid that Regulus had to degrade to the 'so' line. That meant that things were a little awkward. Or so Lily says. But I've learned to trust the things she says.

"You're in your fifth year right?" I asked, finding some way to talk.

"Yep. It's pretty tough." He said, looking down at me and smiling.

"Been there, done that." There we go. My comebacks have finally arrived. I scored a taunting smile and that cute eyebrow raise from Regulus.

"Bet you got all O's on your O.W.L.'s" He said, smirking.

"Well, I don't mean to brag, but yes. All O's." I said, trying my best attempt at sounding snobbish. Regulus snickered.

We entered Madame Pudifoot's and I was immediately uncomfortable. I have never heard of this place but it most be packed on Valentine's day. There were seven tables spread out with two to four chairs a table. Almost every table was full with couples. And every single one of them were making out. It was kind of gross. Who wants to make-out while eating?

Regulus saw the look on my face and laughed, steering me to a table with four chairs. He pulled out my chair, like a gentlemen, and went off to get our drinks.

So, when my heart was beating earlier, that was nothing compared to the heart attack going on right now. I could barely breath. I had a feeling that I was going to need to down some hard whiskey to erase this memory. I was drumming my hands on the table, my leg shaking. I was darting my eyes everywhere but the obscence couples around me. It felt like everyone was staring at me. They probably were too.

Okay so now would be a good time to run. I mean if my legs weren't made of jelly I could push this chair out and run away, change my name, and go to Beaubatons. But I hated French food. Wait, was it in France? I made a mental note to ask Lily. Where was I? Right, running away. Maybe I could go to Durmstrang, but Dark Arts aren't my specialty. Maybe Severus could go with me. He could teach me all about the Dark Arts. Yes, running away with Severus sounded like a really good idea right now.

But then two bottles landed in front of me, and Regulus slid in the seat next to me. One look at me, and he laughed.

"Are you okay?" He asked, turning face first towards me.

"Being in a room with one couple making out is wierd as is, but six..." I was still drumming my hands, my heart going faster and faster....why can't it just stop? Omg can this all end? Ugh! Fortunately, Regulus laughed, making me a little more sane.

"I didn't think it would be this crowded."

"I think I'm suffocating right now." I said, a little breathless.

"I bet you want this date to end right now." He said, sipping his butterbeer, never taking his eyes off of me.

"Not the date," I stammered over the word. Hopefully he wouldn't notice, but the glint in his eye told me he did. "Just the place."

"It's torture, I know." He said, smiling, moving a little closer to me. Oh man, oh man. I was going to pass out. Considering everything else that was going on in my head, that would actually be a good case scenerio.

"It's completely brutal and cruel of you," I replied, shocked that my comebacks were so taunting. Regulus formed that smile again and I found myself lost in a fantasy where he was a vampire and I was his dinner. Or whatever. It was sick but completely hot. Wow, did I just think abouyt sex?

"You must be in so much pain," He said, his eyes shimmering with an emotion I did not know. It wasn't lust per-say. Not that I knew much about it, but Sirius' eyes had lust in them the other night.

"It's excruciating. I begging you to put me out of my misery." I said. All of a sudden, my voice was low and seductive. A slight flash of shock graced Regulus' features. It was like he didn't know I had it in me. Well me neither, bud.

"Begging? Like on your knees begging?" He asked, raising his sexy eyebrow.

"Like on my knees promising you everything you want, begging," I said, inching toward him.

"Excuse my lack of imagination, but what are you promising exactly?" He said, taunting me. Omg...what was going on between us? It was like this fire was burning and my entire body was feverish. I was breathing a little heavily, and tingles were in my stomach. Regulus' was breathing hard too. I had this desperate desire to close the space between us, to tell him that I am promising him everything and anything he wants...but just as the words were forming, the bell to the door jingled and in stepped Sirius Black and Sandra Werth.

I really didn't give a crap, but then all of a sudden, Sirius came over and plopped himself across from us. Instantly, the fire was put out, and Regulus turned towards his brother. Sandra didn't look to pleased, but Sirius was smirking, a delightful look in his eyes.

"Well, well. If it isn't my little Kitty, and my little brother," He said, smiling all the more. "Come now, don't be hostel. We were just passing when we saw you two. Seriously the windows of this place are completely foggy and everyone was staring at you two as they passed. I think I am starting to sweat as I sit in your presence."

Regulus looked none to pleased to see him there. I wanted to kill Sirius, but a small, very pessimistic part of me told myself that maybe it was for the good. But the other part, the part that enjoyed what happened immediately shut it down.

"Kitty, you looked so into it, you know? Here I thought I needed to teach you some moves, but you're a tease to say the least."

"You know Sirius, why don't you go and play with Sandra?" Admittedly, it wasn't my best comeback but I was still in a haze from earlier.

"But Kitty, this is so much more fun!" He exclaimed, slouching back in his chair.

"Stop calling me Kitty, dammit." I said, enraged.

"Aw Kit-" I pushed my bottle over and it toppled all over him. Completely shocked, I watched as Sirius grew extremely irate. Regulus, on the other hand, simply laughed, and pulled me up. We practically ran out the door, Sirius hollaring after us as we ran towards the Shrieking Shack.

"That was amazing!" Regulus said as we stopped, panting from the long run. As soon as I calmed down, I gave him a warm smile.

"It was amazing," I said, implying the ulterior meaning. Regulus caught on, and moved closer to me, a look of pure sexiness on his face. I couldn't help my reaction at all.

I grabbed behind his neck, and kissed him on the lips.

The fire between us smoledered, grasping onto each other with fiercness, smushed up tightly against each other. He held me at the waist, his smooth lips pressed against mine, moving in perfect synchronoization. My hands were behind his neck, and moving threw his hair.

But as soon as it started, it ended. There was no tongue action, and the fire did not diminish in the slightest. But Regulus wanted to wait a little bit. I could tell by the look in his eyes. We kept staring at each other with intensity. It was such a heavy moment for the two of us, both of us breathing hard and fast. Regulus smiled a little and moved back some. He must have some very good self control because it took all of mine not to jump on him and kiss him like there was no tomorrow.

* * *

"I think I am getting hot just by listening to this," Lily said later that evening in our dormitory. After our kiss, we walked around Hogsmeade a little. As we returned to the castle and parted ways, he kissed my hand again. Only this time it sent me into that inferno again.

Lily's date was okay, but the kid was boring. She told me how they made small talk, but didn't talk about anything significant. I said she was meant for James, which earned me a smack to the face by a pillow.

Replaying the days events in my mind, I couldn't help but smile and enjoy the feelings that came flooding back to me every time I thought back to that kiss. It looked like every time I see Regulus now, I wouldn't be able to control myself.

And I might loose a lot more than control to this kid.


	5. Such Sweet Sorrow

A week later, Lily got a note from Dumbeldore. He wanted to have a Halloween ball.

That was wierd....Hogwarts never had a ball before. Except for the Yule Ball, but that was a different story and it hasn't happened in years...

Anyways, Lily needed some help with it. She recruited some girls from the dormitory, including me, and Remus. When I learned of this, I threw a fit.

Right now, I was sitting in the library, where we were talking about decorations. I, unfortunately, am sitting next to Remus. He came in after me and took that spot. It's been a very awkward hour, to say the least.

"So...who has ideas?" Lily asked, looking up at us. I have to admit, my one and only idea is to get the hell out of there. Remus shot his hand up.

"I think we should go with a theme. Maybe it should all be black and orange." I snorted mentally. How original. This time I raised my hand, earning an eyebrow raise from Lily.

"I think that the enchanted ceiling should have lightening. Bats should also be there too. There should be dim lighting, a large dance floor, and we should book the Wierd Sisters." I said.

"Katrina....that is the most impossible idea ever." The Wierd Sisters were a hot new band, who just came out three months ago. I actually knew one, the lead singer. My brother was dating her, so I had my connections.

"Lils, It may or may not be impossible. I will owl my brother tonight and ask him." Maybe he would mail me back some firewhiskey I always ask for.

"Okay. I don't see the harm in that," Lily said grudgingly. "But we need a back up plan..." So much for this meeting being over fast....

Two excruciating hours later, everyone dispersed. I was in charge of the music, so I set out to the owlery. Most unfortunately, Remus followed.

"Katrina, wait up." He said, saying goodbye to my friend Rose, who was smiling at him adoringly. Why does everyone like him?

No, I really didn't wait up. As a matter of fact, I sped up. Remus practically ran to keep up with me.

"Look, Katrina, I-"

"We went through this Remus." I said coldly.

"I know! I regret what I said!"

"It seems like you always regret what you say. Hmmm." We were almost to the owlery...

"I talked to Sirius and he said-" That did it. I hated when Sirius got brought into these things.

"Do you always have to ask permission to do things? Is Sirius your brain or something? Does he tell you what to do? Because if he does, then that sure explains why you are such a screw up when it comes to these things." I noticed how harsh my words sounded. Remus flinched.

"Katrina," He whispered. He sounded hurt and sad. But I was too stubborn to actually let him off that easy.

"Remus I have stuff to do and I don't have time for people who are a complete waste." Again, he flinched. Slowly, he turned and walked away. I did not have an ounce of regret for the things I said...

Yet.

_Dear Mark,_

_Wow. Just wow. My first month here at Hogwarts and I probably deserve the title of Drama Queen. But that's what I get for being so beautiful...just joking._

_I have a lot to say but this letter is short notice. Look, you're still dating Cassandra right? Ask her if she and the Wierd Sisters would come to Hogwarts to play for our Halloween Ball. It's on October 31st, obviously, at nine o'clock 'til one o'clock. Let me know asap if you can or can't Maybe you could come along for the ride or something. i haven't seen you since last summer, you know._

_Love,_

_Katrina_

_P.S: Now would also be a good time for firewhiskey..._

* * *

The rest of the week went by slowly. I divided my time between homework and the dance. My brother didn't respond immediately, but he was in France...who knew what was going on with him there.

Sometimes, Regulus would join me. Those times were the worst....

After Hogsmeade, Regulus and I haven't talked that much or even kissed. He kissed my hand once, but that was it. I was getting a little anxious. I really wanted to be his girlfriend and he had yet to ask me. He hasn't even asked me to the ball yet!!!

My anger and frustration must have showed during these times. We sometimes snapped at each other, and I got cocky with other people too. It just became too much. So I decided to clear the air on Friday afternoon.

"Okay, Katrina. Whatever you say." He was always calm when it came to arguments. Regulus probably did that to piss me off even more.

"Dammit!" I said through clenched teeth. I slammed my book closed and whipped aorund to glare at him. Most unfortunately, that inferno creeped up. Regulus glared back, closing his book slowly, and turned to face me too. I usually lost these things. But not now. I was going to catch him off guard.

"Why haven't you asked me to be your girlfriend yet?" I asked, unabashed. A normal person would be humilated, but me...I guess there was nothing to loose really.

Regulus blinked in shock and turned around.

That was not the answer I wanted but it was better if he completely turned me down.

"Well that explains it." I gathered my things and got up. Regulus looked at me as I walked out of the library.

It seemed like that library hated me.

Back in the common room, some people sat aorund just chilling out. It was Friday, so most people let their homework slip until Sunday afternoon.

Not to be all conceited, but I finished mine already.

I scanned the common room and found Lily sitting at a table by herself finishing up her homework. I walked over and sat next to her and huffed. She didn't even look up.

"So I'm going to take it that Regulus doesn't want to be you boyfriend." I haven't even told her I was going to confront him...

"It wasn't bad. He just looked at me in shock as I walked away. No hard feelings." I said, shaking my head.

"Remus wouldn't have done that, you know." She said, glancing up.

"Right he wouldn't. He would have been so much worse, choosing those idiots over me. I rather like the way Regulus and I ended things." I said smiling. Lily narrowed her eyes.

"He told me what you said to him, and that wasn't nice. You know, you should be a bit more nicer to him."

"He should be a bit more nicer to me. I have been with him since like day one of his furry little problem, okay?" Lily shut her textbook, exasperated.

"Katrina, you really need to let this go. He has other friends who can help him more than you, okay? They're boys, and sometimes Remus needs some guy time."

"I absolutely hate it when you're right, so I'm just going to pretend like I didn't hear you and ignore that." I said. Lily smiled at me and hugged me.

And that's when two arrogant boys sat on the other side of us. The only two poeple in the world I would spend life in prision for...

Sirius Black and James Potter.

"So Lily, who are you going to the dance with?" James asked, rather nice...omg, he was being civilized for once! WHAT THE HELL! Lily, being the diplomat that she is, kindly turned him down. It was like someone replaced my best friend. Usually there were temper tantrums and hexing and all I get is this? PLease tell me that someone has a disasterous love life like me!

"I actually have a date, James," WHAT THE HELL! WHAT HAPPENED TO POTTER?????

"Alright, maybe next time," James said nodding. I was going to loose it. Someone please wake me up...

"So who are you going with, my little Kitty?" Sirius asked, clearly unaffected by this as much as I was.

"The last time you called me Kitty, you got butterbeer all over you." I said threateningly. He just smirked.

"Yes, how was your date with my brother?" He asked.

"It was amazinginly awesome." I said, smiling in spite of myself. I really am starting to hate myself.

"Really? Has he asked you to the ball yet?" Sirius asked, propping an elbow on the table. My hesitation gave me away.

"I'll take that as a no. Why would he?" Sirius asked, smiling. I slammed my hands down on the table.

"What's that supposed to mean, you fuck?" I asked, pissed. Sirius had the nerve to smile even more.

"It just meant that he's taking Ariana in Slytherin." Oh. Well, when you put it that way...

"What the f-"

"Language, Katrina." Lily hissed.

"What the fruck!?" I exclaimed. "How do you know?"

"Sandra told me." Sirius said, toying with my sleeves.

"How does that bitch know?" I never really cursed this much. It takes a lot to get me pissed...and let me tell you, I'm seriously messed up.

"Kitty, you're kind of hot when your mad," Sirius said, smiling.

"You little..." I stood and walked around the table to him. Sirius stood up too, towering over me, with that sneer firmly planted on his face.

A little voice told me that it wasn't his fault. But Regulus and Sirius looking alike only made this so much more easier.

I slapped him.

Or, I tried to and Sirius grabbed my hand.

"Seriously, Kitty, you have some some claws their." He said, pulling me close. So close, that I could rest my head on him.

My brain finally went into meltdown and I did. I put my head on his chest.

A gasp came from Lily and James. Sirius was shocked too, and I think his heart stopped beating.

I was not going to admit how nice it was. I wasn't going to appreciate his nice chest. And I was most certainly not going to inhale his scent.

It smelt like mountains and rain.

It was really nice. But of course, I realized what I did too seconds after, and I jumped right out of his arms.

My eyes scanned the room. Lily's jaw dropped, James' head was tilted, and Sirius...well Sirius looked curious. Not confused or shocked, like I thought.

Just curious.

"Umm...I should go," I whispered, not meeting anyone's eyes. I walked as calmly as I could out of the common room.

At the end of the hallway, a figure stopped. I squinted to see who it was, but even from this far away, I already knew who it was.

There was no confusing him with Sirius.

"Look, Katrina...I," Regulus stopped, taking a deep breath. Inside I was glad I caused him to be this flustered. Normally, Regulus was never speechless.

"It's alright. I understand," I said, sucking up my pride and counting my loses. I never understand that saying. Why would you count what you lose?

"No, no." He said, placing a hand on my shouleder. "I want to be your boyfriend, I really do. But..."

"You're going to the ball with Ariana?" I finished for him, smiling.

"Wait, what?" He asked, startled. "Ariana Tether?" He asked astonished.

"Is that the only Ariana in Slytherin?" I aksed. He nodded. "Then yes. yes it is." I said, crossing my arms.

"Why would I go to the ball with her? Of all people? She's a...well, she's my cousins friend. And she has a large nose, and she's a horrible kisser."

"Wow. She seems like your type." I said, playing with him. He sputtered.

"No, no. Not even close to my type." He said. I smiled.

"Then what is your type?" I asked, taking a step close to him. He understood I was playing. His charming smile graced his face, and that ungodly inferno erupted between us.

"You are just my type. Beautiful. Smart. Sexy." He said, coming closer with no more space left to breathe. Or at least that's what it felt like.

"You're just saying that so you can have your way with me," I uncrossed my arms, and placed them around his neck.

"Well, I would really hope that my girlfriend would want it." I smiled slightly, not wanting him to see I was actually about to spring off a wall.

"Oh really. You're such a sweet talker," I breathed. He placed his arms around my waist, pressing me against him

"Is it working?" I nodded and he leaned in to plant a kiss on my lips.

And holy shit it was better than the first.

* * *

**Hell yeahs!!! I kind of liked this chapter! Thanks to my reviewer, too!!! I loved your comment!!!**

**Lovelovelove,**

**Meg**


	6. Confusion and Firewhiskey

The next weeks went by in a flash.

I actually made a list of all the awesome things that has been happening.

I call it the awesome things that has been happening. I know. Soo original.

**AWESOME THINGS THAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING**

_By Katrina Heartfaw_

**1. I AM REGULUS' BLACK GIRLFRIEND!**

**2. I GET TO KISS REGULUS BLACK EVERY DAMN DAY!**

**3. SIRIUS STOPPED TALKING TO ME WHEN HE FOUND OUT!**

**4. I FINALLY GOT MY FIREWHISKEY!**

**5. THE WIERD SISTERS ARE COMING!!!**

It was the best reply my brother could ever send me when he told me that he was coming too. He shipped two bottles of firewhiskey and I nearly fainted. I've stashed them away for a better time to down them.

My part in the Halloween ball was done. I booked the Wierd Sisters and I didn't have to sit threw another horrid meeting in that cursed library.

But I did have to worry about what I would wear. Admittedly, I was frantic about it. I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Well until I found the perfect dress that is.

I'll tell you about that later. No one, not even Lily, who can guess the apocalypse, knows. It's been killing her and Regulus.

I told him to wear a dark blue tie.

There were only about three days left until the ball itself. Lily has been running down the final details like crazy. She even repeated the decorations in her sleep.

It's like the O.W.L's all over again.

I felt so amazing because everything was done with. Lately, all I did was hang around with Regulus.

Speaking off, we haven't actually entered the tongue territory. I don't mind because I am not entirely sure how I would react to it. I mean, just his lips sets my entire body on fire. Usually we talk, and kiss, and then kiss some more. We're so cute....

I'm giggling just thinking about it, earning an eyebrow raise from Lily.

I can't help my mind wondering off into daydream mode.

One time, I actually full out lived the vampire fantasy. No-kidding. It was breathing taking.

"Does blood make you giggle, Katrina?" Lily said, clearly stressed. To that, I busted up. It was like she was in my fantasy.

Her eyebrows, of course, rose even higher.

"Does it?" She pushed.

"I swear Lily, it's like you know everything!" I laughed again. Lily threw up her hands and turned around, exasperated.

Remus was in the room, too. He glanced up when i started giggling, but shook his head when I started talking.

It was like I should put a list up of the things that aren't so peachy right now. But I won't because I don't want to burst my bubble.

ANd that's when Regulus walked in. Like a rockstar, of course. He lost his robes in exchanged for dark jeans and a white silk button up shirt. I am dying just by the site of him.

I said bye to Lily and Remus, who both seemed too into the decorations to actually notice me leaving.

"Hey," I said, flustered. His charming smile dazzled me and I gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

"Let's go find some place private." He said. My heart stopped.

"Where can we go?" I asked confused and...omg excited.

"I know a place..." He said, smiling down at me and squeezing my hand.

I heard Lily make a noise that sounded strangely like vomitting. So I flipped her the bird.

Too many flights to count later, we were pacing outside of a room. Then a door appeared.

I would question this, but seriously. We were in Hogwarts. They were tons of things I have yet to discover. Plus, I was with this totally amazing guy, too.

Inside, the room was brightly lit with a red couch and granite floors. It was a little chilly, so thank Merlin for the blanket. There was a large window that took up the opposite side of the door. It had this nice view of the forest and Lake.

It was breath-taking.

And then Regulus pulled me to the couch, and into his arms. He looked at me for a few seconds, sending shivers down my spine.

Then, he kissed me.

It felt like my skin was on fire. Every ounce of my being was set still, except for my heart that was racing a thousand miles an hour. My hands were tangled in his smooth, silky, black hair, while his hands were wandering my back. And then he started to trace my lips with his tongue. I pressed up against him more, tightening my hands now around his neck. I opened my mouth a little, and our tongues collided. He laid me down, firmly planted on top of me. One hand, gradually made its way under my shirt, taking it off, stopping my heart and breathing. Then he stopped the kiss to look at me. His eyes were so intense, like they were asking a million things at once. ANd then, finally, when he opened his mouth to speak, the door opened.

I was petrified when I thought it was a teacher, but looking at the people who decided to come in, I thought I could better handle McGonagall.

At the door, stopped dead, were all four of the Maurauders and Lily.

I realized that I was in an awkward position. Me, with my hair tangled, shirtless, and smeared lip gloss. Regulus, with his hair in a big mess, shirts unbuttoned, and some lip gloss on his neck too...yeah let's just say it was compromising.

I was just wondering when they would leave when Lily spoke.

"Dinner's ready," she whispered, clearly uncomfortable. Later, I thought, I would ask her what she was doing with the Maurauders.

But when they left and Regulus and I were getting dressed, I could only ponder one thing: What was Regulus going to say? I knew that it was going to bug me, but my mind thought of many things he could have possibly said. Some were just as outrageous as the next. But when I thought about it, it came down to one thing.

He was going to ask me to have sex. I just knew it with all my being.

As turned on as I got with him, the possibly of having sex with him was scary. We were only dating for a week at least. But what was more scarier than that was what would be my answer. In the heat of the moment, I realized I would have said yes. But now...I don't know. Would I? Part of me would think it was the stupidest decision of my life. Again, we were only dating for a week. It would be too fast to jump into those kind of things.

As we parted ways, Regulus kissed my hand..again. It left me to think about a whole bunch of things I really didn't want to think about. But honestly? How was I not supposed to think about this?

As I walked towards the Gryffindor table, I could think of only one person that could possibly help me. But as soon as the name popped into my head, I quickly nixed it.

Looking down the table, I saw Sirius. It was uncomfortable enough to have to talk about sex with him. Especially if it was about his brother....But he might think I've already done that already. What with the scene they walked in on...

* * *

It was finally the day of the ball.

For the past three days, all I could do was avoid being alone with Regulus. And he did ask. Almost every day. And although a small part of my brain was telling me it was okay, I still couldn't bring myself to do it. Being alone with Regulus would make me do things I would regret later. I noticed this overwhelming need to talk to Sirius about this. I don't know why...or even how my brain came up with it, but it made sense. Sirius has experience, he knows Regulus, and he wants to teach me tricks anyway, might as well...

No not that last part. Oh sweet Merlin, I really do need to talk to him. Now.

I ran out of my dormitory in sweats, just after I came out of the shower. I was about to dry my hair and put on make-up, but this was too much. I needed to talk to him.

To my intense displeasure, Remus opened the door, startled at the sight of me.

"Katrina?" He asked, looking behind me. NO, I didn't bring Rose, you slimy, arrogant-

Get a grip, Kat.

"Can I come in?" He blinked in shock. "I need to talk to Sirius." The shock was still on his face as I entered the room. The boys were all running around, getting ready.

"He's in the bathroom, doing his hair." I just nodded and made my way to the bathrom. The door was slightly ajar, and some fog was seeping out. Inside it was really hot, and Sirius' hair was still soaked. And he was shirtless.

Holy Merlin. He did look fine shirtless. He should walk around like that every damn day. I would still despise him, but if I got that view, I wouldn't be so harsh on him. I might actually hug him, just to stroke that fine, muscular chest. It was oh so nice. So firm looking and solid-

"Do you like what you see?" Sirius asked, smirking at me through the mirror. It looked like he was putting mouse in his hair.

"I, uh...well..." How do you start something like this? Well, you shut the door first, so none of the other boys would hear.

Sirius rose his eyebrows.

"I, well see....I have this funny story..." I laughed, but it sort of came out all choked. He rose his eyebrows even higher...if that was possible.

"Kitty..." He said, turning around now.

"Okay, alright! You got me! Jeez!" I threw my hands up and walked over, leaning against the sink. "I need to talk to you about...er sex."

He dropped his mouse bottle, very surprised at my words. I bit back my smile.

"My little Kitty...did you...?!" He asked, a smile forming on his lips.

"NO! Oh, God no! Oh Merlin!" I laughed that wierd choking sound again. The smile was still on his lips. "It's just...Look. This isn't easy for me to admit, but I'm not experienced at these things." I said. Sirius snickered.

"Really? Oh, God, I had no clue." He said, turning back to the mirror

"I think your brother wants to..uh..have...you know...with me." Sirius smiled at me.

"I think a lot of people do, too." I felt a blush creeping up on me.

"Well, he's my boyfriend so he's like entitled to this...unlike some people."

"So you're saying that, if I was your boyfriend, I would be entitled to you?"

"Yes but remember, my skin would melt if you touched me." I said.

"Ah, Kitty. Kitty, Kitty, Kitty." I frowned at him. "Look, it's simple. If you're not ready, then just tell him that. He'll understand. I always do."

"Sirius. You don't even know what a relationship is. You take a girl to the broom closet, do her, and then, if she is good, you do it over again until you get bored. That's not a relationship. You're understanding is pressuring a girl until she goes crazy. This is serious!" I said, watching his reaction. He sighed and looked at me.

"I meant what I said. Look, how do you even know that he wants to have sex with you? Did he ask?"

"Well, no. But it was the way he looked at me when we were making out. And Sirius..." Ohmygosh was I actually going to admit this? To Sirius? I'm going to have to jump off a cliff now. "I'm really afraid that I'll say yes. Because I'll regret it." He looked shocked by my words, and maybe a little sincere too. It was like I just bared my soul too him, and this wasn't a vulnerability he could handle.

"Kit-Katrina. I-" He was next to me in a second, his hand resting on my check. I was too humilated of my words to actualy register what was going on. Sirius Black was touching me. I should be burning. My flesh should be falling off, and I'm dying. Only...I wasn't. I know it was an exaggerated statement and I believed him the Devil's incarnate, but I was disappointed that I wasn't in flames....oh Merlin I'm so sick. Why would anyone want to be in flames? Well the answer is, yet again, simple. The world is ending. Because if this world was going round and round, I would would kicking Sirius Black for ever placing a finger on me. So yes. The world is ending. Again.

"What is going on in here?" Remus said, in a very the-world-is-ending voice. Or rather, that's what it sounded like. Looking at him, he was furious. But why...

Wow, Katrina, you really are a blonde. He likes you, remember?

Shut up, conscience.

First step of insanity: questioning yourself.

No, it's answering yourself.

I see...

"Katrina? Earth to Katrina? Sirius what did you do to her?" Remus snapped at him. Sirius dropped his hand (finally) and backed away. It took me a second to breathe it in, and then...

"Why are you acting like you care? And why are you talking to your best bud like that?" I asked, placing a hand on my hip.

"What are you even doing in my best bud's bathroom?" Remus asked, equally sarcastic.

"Well, see, I..." My eyes flickered over his hair products. I grabbed his mousse. "I ran out of mousse. Yeah. Lily used the last of mine." Remus rose his eyebrows.

"I have to use the bathroom," Remus said.

"Oh, Yeah. Sirius," I snapped my fingers at him. He looked up, eyes shining with delight. I looked at him sternly. "Thanks for the advice on how to use this mousse. I would have never guessed." I said. Sirius snickered.

"Let me walk you to the door. Remus needs his privacy." I walked out with Sirius, his hand on the small of my back. The door slammed shut behind us, and I jumped. James looked at us. He was nicely dressed in black robes (same as Sirius). Peter...well Peter was on his bed, already dressed and ready. He was reading some article and didn't pay the slightest attention to us.

"I don't even want to know this time, Sirius." James said, putting on his shoes. Sirius smiled and led me out, leaning against the door post.

"So Kitty," he called after me. Dammit! Here I thought I could at least sprint from the dormitory without any last words.

"Yes, my love?" I teased. His smile grew wider.

"For your information, Regulus came to me for advice." I highly doubt that.

"Really?" I asked, doubt thick in my voice.

"Yes."

"Is there any way you could prove this?" I said, crossing my arms.

"He was wondering why you were avoiding him." I rose my eyebrows. "He said he wanted to hang out with you, but you were always busy. 'I have ball stuff to take care of' he said was always your response." Damn. That was my response.

"So..."

"He didn't want you-know-what. He just wants to hang with you." He smiled, and I felt...well...

"So, yeah. That's that..." Sirius said, trailing off.

I couldn't believe I was feeling this. Why was I feeling...

"I got to go get ready for the ball now," Sirius was still talking. He shut the door, leaving me all alone with...

Disappointment.

Why would I feel disappointment? Wasn't I just saying I would regret making the decision with Regulus? Shouldn't I feel relieved?

A lot of answers swam in my head as I got ready for the ball that evening. Lily kept pestering about my dress and about what was wrong. Admittedly, she knew what was up, but I refused to talk about it. A bunch of 'what if's?' popped into my head.

Like what if Sirius was lying? Or What if it was true, and Regulus didn't even want to be with me? What if this was all just a dream and I'll wake up to my firewhiskey and...

Firewhiskey. That's it. What I needed was a nice shot of firewhiskey.

Or maybe three.

"Katrina?" Lily called. I was finishing my hair, groggily I may add, when Lily was knocking on the door.

"Yeah?" I slurred. I thought I could hold my liquor better, but man was I wrong. It was only like five or six shots so far...not even. But the empty bottle told me otherwise.

"Kat, we're heading down now. Are you almost ready?" Uh, no, I wasn't. I still needed to fit into my corset and the dizzy feeling I have now wasn't going to go well.

"Yeah. Just go without me. I'll be down in ten mintues." Try like another hour.

"Okay. I'll see you down there." Guilt washed over me as I realized what a big night this was for Lily. I needed to sober up. And fast.

Okay, so I wasn't going to be completely sober, but drinking some water helped. And I knew I needed some food too. But that could wait.

My dress was a problem. My beautiful, perfect dress was suffocating me to death. It was a nice blue and it matched my sapphire eyes well. The dress itself went down to my feet. It was strapless, and had this cool design to it. Like everything was tattered. I wore black, mesh gloves, a silver, diamond neclace, and silver bangles. All in all, I looked smoking hot.

But well, I was so dizzy I thought I was going to topple over at any minute.

And the flight down to the ball....well I tripped almost every second and I think I scared some couple. When I finally arrived at the Great Hall, most of people were ready to go in. Lily was standing with Remus (DID SHE GO WITH HIM?????), Sirius was with Sandra, and I couldn't find my man. My lusicous and beautiful man. Who would look so fine in anything. Maybe he would look fine in nothing...hmmm...

"Katrina," A soft, musical voice trilled from behind me. Turning around, I heard him stifle a gasp. As did almost everyone around me. Did I look that drunk???? Man! ANd here I thought..

But my other thoughts were stopped when Regulus pressed his lips to mine, in a rough, hard kiss. When we broke apart, he held me tightly.

"You are so gorgeous tonight that I can't even handle myself." He whispered to me.

"You're doing a fine job, but you might have to worry about me." My voice came out all sultry, and seductive. Regulus' eyes were burning with an intensity too hot to handle.

And then, like always, Lily came up and ruined the moment. Thank God.

"Wow, Kat, wow. You are...breathtaking." Lily said, sighing. Behind her was Remus, who was staring intently at me.

"Thanks Lily. Hey are you and Remus like together?" I asked. My drunken self didn't understand that maybe she told me this as I was downing sixteen shots of firewhiskey.

"Yes. We thought it would be easier if we went together because we basically ran this whole thing together and like-"

"Lily, you are giving me a headache." I said. Regulus chuckled next to me. And then it was like a light went off in Lily's head.

She knew. After all, she was there in four year, when I was first trashed. That wasn't a pretty sight. She was there after the O.W.L. examinations. Hell she was there during the summer, when my brother left. So it was obvious to her that I was completely smashed. It was also obvious to me that she was hurt. Because I only drank excessively if something was wrong.

"Katrina, you're brother is in the Great Hall," she whispered to me. I just nodded, and walked past her. A regular drunken person would probably be passed out right now or trying to avoid confrontation. Me? Well i was too busy thinking about my vampire scenario to actually give a crap that my brother was here.

To see me.

Completely trashed and out of it.

Well, at least he wouldn't tell mom and dad. No...he'd probably kill me. Or worse....laugh at me.

Wow I am so drunk right now.

I walked inot the Great Hall. Some teachers were wondering aimlessly, not really realizing that I was there. The band was on stage, setting up everything. And then, I saw Mark. he was talking to Cassandra. I walked right up to him, not really caring that I might be interupting something important.

I grab him in a great bear hug. Mark chuckled and grabbed me back. I think Regulus was behind me.

"Hey, my brother!" I exclaimed, really obnoxiously. Cassandra went off to fix her mic.

"Hey Kat. What's happening?" He asked, as I let go. Where was my Regulus? My macho vampire...

"You know. The usual. Breaking hearts." I said, laughing. Mark just rolled his eyes.

"Uh-huh. And it's so not obvious that you're not trashed." I heard a faint snicker from behind me and I saw....

"My Vamp-Regulus!!!!" I threw my arms around him, and squeezed the death out of him.

"What am I?" He said, laughter in his voice.

"My vampire boyfriend." Regulus face contorted into laughter. My brother stolled up next to me.

"I'm her brother, Mark," he said. I had to bust up at his obvious attempt at bravado. Mr. Big Brother.

"Apparently I'm her vampire boyfriend." Regulus said, taking his outstretched hand. "Although I really don't get it." he finished, looking down at me.

"You wish you got it." I said, winking at him. He bit back his smile. I stoked his fine hair.

"I'm going to leave you two alone now." Mark said, walking back to the stage.

"So, about this vampire business...." I said, trying to look all stern. Regulus laughed.

"Hey, you tell me. I'm the innocent bystander."

"Yes, oh-so innocent, my macho man." Soon, we were both busting up laughing. And then i smelt a faint aroma. It smelled familiar...of course I would know this, but it wasn't clicking. Like I should know this. Wasn't just downing this an hour ago? Firewhiskey.

"Are you drunk?" I asked, a faint tingle going off in my brain. But my drunken state completely numbs the brain effect.

"Just a little buzzed." He opened his jacket to show me his bottle of firewhiskey. That was half full. Hmm...

"Why are you buzzed?" I asked curiously.

"Why are you?" He stammered back at me.

"Hey." I said. The Great Hall was spinning. I held onto him for support. "I asked first."

"It's stupid, really." He said sheepishly.

"You're not stupid," I said adoringly.

"Well...see..." He said, a little uncomfortable.

"Come one. You can tell me anything."

"I did it because I wasn't sure what you were going to be like tonight. You were avoiding me all week and I really couldn't handle it. So maybe the buzz would make things less, uh, idon't know...harsh." He told me. "Why are you drunk?"

"Because I was disappointed because you didn't want me." He was about to speak, but I cut him off. "Like that." I tried, but failed, to relay the message with me eyes. Everything was so blurry that the floor could have been his eyes.

Then I heard it. Or felt it actually. He grasp my hand. Hard. And stifled a loud gasp.

"Why would you think that?" He murmered. Why was he whispering?

"Because Sirius said that-"

"And you believed him?"

"Well, really you have no idea what I believe." What was I saying?

"What?" Regulus said, voicing my thoughts.

And that's when everything went blank.

* * *

Ohh. Ciffhanger. Well not really.

I have to say...I love this chapter. It seems fast, but she's completely trashed and ihe beginning, confused.

Tell me what you think!!!

lovelovelove,

megg


	7. Hangovers and Truths

"Dude, she isn't waking up..." A voice said faintly.

A blurry image appeared of a boy with glasses and black hair. Somebody else was there, but I didn't know who it was. I felt cold and something was suffocating me.

Then it was blank again.

Somebody was speaking angrily to someone else.

"Sirius, just bring her to our dormitoy!" A girl whispered feverishly.

"Lily, look, I would but we can't go up the stairs." Sirius replied.

Again, I felt suffocated. I was laying on something soft, but my stomach was entirely enclosed.

Then I remebered that I had on a dress. Wait, why was I wearing a dress?

_Doesn't matter. Un-do the corset._

Slowly, very slowly, i reached up and undid the top button. Still, the voices were growing louder and louder.

With the second button undone, I felt slightly more capable. I was in a bed, obviously, with the curtains drawn.

Now the I took off the corset, and breathed fully. Then I registered the voices.

"Sirius just let me conjur her up!" Lily said fiercly. Is there a reason for the yelling?

"She's sleeping!" Sirius loudly.

"She can't stay up here!" They were practicely screaming!

"Well you can't wake her!" I thought my ears were bleeding.

"Again, she can't stay here!"

"Well-"

"CAN YOU SHUT THE BLOODLY HELL UP? PEOPLE ARE-FUCK!" Mid-tantrum, after throwing the curtains open, my head just started to pound. I thought my brain was going to explode. Immediately, I fell back onto the bed to abait the pain. But no good. I woke up the devil.

"Katrina!" Sirius and Lily said at the same time, rushing over to me. Sirius, slightly smirking, picked up my head.

I slapped his hand away.

"Fucker." I muttered.

"Glad to know you haven't lost your spirit..."Sirius said lamely. I looked at Lily, thinking that maybe she would have some decency to not yell at me in front of Sirius. But she was pissed.

"Katrina Isabella Heartfaw." Lily whispered. I wish she would just yell at me. "What on earth provoked you to do this?" I spoke to soon.

"Lily, I-"

"No," she cut me off. "I'm speaking. You arrive, late, to the ball, completely trashed and wasted, as was your dumbass boyfriend. You pass out, before the ball started, in the Great Hall. Regulus was just as wasted and couldn't get anyone. Had Mark not been there, you would probably still be laying there." She paused, letting this sink in. "Not only did you embarass me at the ball, but you made me miss it, too. Who else would take care of your sorry ass?"

"I'm not your responsibility." I said lowly.

"It seems like i should be. God, Kat, you're such a child," I flinched. That hurt. "And you know what? Everytime you drink, you get like this and you know it. I don't care how bad everything might have seemed, but do you ever think of anyone else? Is there no end to your selfishness? Katrina, I don't know what happened. And honestly, I don't want to know. Because if you can't even tell me and have to resort to two bottles of firewhiskey, what can I do?"

"I only drank one," I muttered. Lily glared.

"It was two. I saw them in the trash. And I'm done here." Lily, turned, looking at Sirius. "She can stay here until later. I'll come get her." She left, leaving me with pity.

Well, you know what they say...misery loves company. I looked at Sirius who was eyeing me with calculation.

"So, please tell me you had a horrible night," I said in a falsely cheery voice. Still serious, he sat down next to me.

"Nah. Well, Sandra dumped me but I didn't really care. She was getting on my nerves." I looked at him. "What? Do you want me to yell at you, saying how horrible you are for stealing from me the golden opportunity to have a nice shag with no strings?" He smirked, looking at me. I scoffed.

"At least someone wants to shag you. Lucky." I said, so wishing I had some more firewhiskey. Sirius turned, very sharply, to look at me full on.

"Is this why you did this?" I just stared. "God, Kat, that was stupid. You're like a...puzzle. You said you would regret it, i tell you he doesn't want to, and you're...i don't know, disappointed or something? Everytime I think I have you figured out, I realize I'm so far off, it isn't even funny anymore." I sat up, trying to be menacing, but that fucking headache pulled me back down.

"Merlin! They make love potions but they don't make hang over potions???" I thought I was going to cry, that's how bad it hurt. OmysweetsweetMerlin please save me!

"Don't change the subject, Kat." Sirius said sternly.

"Don't even give me that shit, man. My head feels like a fucking world war, my lungs feel compressed, and to top the chery on everything else, I have people who want to constantly remind me how fucking stupid I was! Guess what! The headache alone would be nice! I don't need you to harp on me too, okay? I'm just a fucked-up person who gets drunk because I FUCKING WANT TOO!!! DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?" He was so shocked to hear me yelling like that. I knew I shouldn't have yelled. Not because I feel bad...fuck no that was awesome. Because my adrenaline is pumping and now my brain is on high-wire. It's going to completely crash soon.

"Katrina, don't fucking sit there and yell at me. You're the dumbass who got drunk because her pansy boyfriend doesn't want her!" Headache or not, I shot up, and was in his face in a second.

"Fuck you, man! At least I'm not some kind of a slut! You, you fuck everything with a skirt on and then completely ignore them! People in glass houses should not be throwing rocks!" We were centimeters away from each other.

"Katrina, please. Like I give a shit. I use woman, everyone knows that. That's not going to change so spare me. You know you're going to get fucked and dumped if you go with me. It's their fault if they think they can change that."

"You know what? I don't care either. I really don't. Why am I even speaking to you about my love life? At least I have a significant other who is loyal and respectful and loving and kind and caring. So what if he doesn't want me? I can deal with that. At least I know his intentions."

"Intentons?" Sirius said credulously. "Really? Because he may not have sex with you but that doesn't stop him from other girls."

"Please. Would I actually believe you?" I asked.

"The only reason he is dating you is on a bet. You're a blood traitor. Just like me. You hang out with Lily, a muggle-born. Why would a stuck up pureblood, like Regulus, choose you?"

"He's different. I don't need you're approval. You ran away because you couldn't handle it." He flinched, obviously hurt. Maybe I went too far.

"He was dared by my cousins to take you out and seduce you. In less than a month. He was only charming you to get you in bed. He's on their side. He thought that if he did this, they would accept him fully." Now he went too far, retaliating against me.

"Okay Sirius, you can stop this is pathetic. I don't believe you. You're just saying this to hurt me." He looked at me. I mean really looked at me. His expression was so serious, so..sincere. I felt tears building up. "No..." I choked out. He nodded. I looked away, feeling foolish.

"Katrina, please, look..."

"If you wanted to hurt me, mission accomplished." I got up and ran to the bathroom, tears flowing full out. My thoart was tight and a large lump was making it hard to breathe. I locked the door, and sat against it, ignoring Sirius' light knocks against the door.

Sometime later, after I recruited to the bathtub, Remus unlocked the door. I thought it was funny that Sirius forgot about magic.

One look at him, and I felt so guilty for everything I said. Fresh tears were welling in my eyes.

"Remus.." He came over and hugged me, while still in the bathtub.

For that moment, all was forgiven. I still wanted to apologize for what I said. I was a rude bitch to him and he didn't deserve it. I was blubbering all over his silky shirt..it felt nice. Remus was patting my hair telling me it will be 'alrite.'

I tried my hardest to suck it up, but really...I am a woman grieving. So please, just please, spare me the criticism.

"Remy," I said into his shirt. He sighed.

"That was like ten years ago, Kaddie." I laughed. When we were seven, we made up cute little names for ourselves. We also pretended we were superheros like Batman and Robin, Superman and Superwoman. You know. All those people.

"I'm sorry, Remy," I said. He laughed softly, and let go of me. He rubbed off my smeared eyeliner and mascara. I probably looked like shit, but Remus wouldn't say anything. He, on the other hand, was looking pretty good. I would say god-like, but those wires in my brain were disconnected right now. Thank you, Regulus.

That son of a bitch.

"It's alright Kat." He smiled. Then it dawned on me that I was hungry.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"About six thirty." I looked at him. "In the morning." Oh man my sleeping schedule was soo off. I was tired, but the hunger was about to overwhelm me, so I stood up shakily and got out of the tub. The mirror told me I looked like a piece of shit, but I ignored it.

"Can I borrow clothes? DO you have any sweats?"

"Kat, I don't own sweats." Remus said. Of course. He was so anal about being the essence of perfection.

I walked to the bathroom door and opened it. I knew who had sweats I could borrow. But Sirius was sleeping. Well his curtains were closed and I didn't know where he was. Quietly, I tip-toed over to his dresser.

"Kat..." Remus whispered. He held up his hands in a questioning gestured. I shrugged.

Opening his top drawer, I found boxers. Nice, silk boxers. And oh yeah they felt nice too. Because, the freak that I am had to touch them. Hehe.

The second drawer had t-shirts. I took out a plain black one. The next drawer had the sweat pants. I took out his grey ones and closed the drawer. I went back up to the top one and took socks too. Hey...if I am stealing his clothes, might as well go all the way out. Then I just stood there. I don't know for how long. I don't really know why. It seemed both stupid and peaceful. Remus was standing awkwardly aside, not knowing if he should come over or stay where he was. The latter seemed to take over.

Finally, I snuck back into the bathroom and closed the door. Ignoring that obscence mirror and the running water in the shower, I turned on the sink and then...

"Dammit!" Someone yelled. And holy shit. I just knew who was in there.

"Do not open that curtain!" I said loudly, but weakly. A small snicker traveled over to me.

"You got three seconds before I do." Sirius said. Fuck me.

"No, I am getting changed, man. Stay in there."

Very quickly, I tore off my dress. I had a slip on with a bra and undies. I threw the slip off, pulled on my pants and...

"Wow," said a toweled Sirius. That fine, muscular chest caught me off guard again. Now it was all sweaty and silky looking from the water. It also looked soft and...and...well this is the part where Sirius is supposed to interrupt my daydream with some sarcastic comment. But...oh yeah, dumbass, you're shirtless.

ANd you have a nice chest. And you have a skimpy bra on. With no straps. Because you wore a strapless dress.

A million comments swarmed in my head, but then a golden one took it's righteous place.

"You like what you see?" I mimicked Sirius, right down to the precious smirk.

He said nothing while stepping out of the shower. Really fast, I threw on his shirt. We got to the door at the same time.

"Bring me back my clothes, got it?" Was all he said. Shouldn't he be consoling me, or at the very least, telling me I'm smoking hot and that he wants me to come to his bed? Or something other than 'I want my clothes back'?

"Sure," I replied. Why was he so...lame?

And then, like a bitch, I remembered what I said.

_"You ran away because you couldn't handle it."_

At the time, when I said these words, I did it for the sole purpose to get at him. To pick at his skin. Now they seemed too harsh. I didn't know anything about his home life and here I was trying to invade upon it. I said and did a lot of stupid things last night. One thing worse than a hangover is the reprecussions of your actions. Sucking up my pride, I started.

"I'm sor-"

"Ladies first," Her said icily. Oh man, this wasn't going to be pleasant.

"Look, Sirius, I'm sor-"

"Are you going to go or not?" He tilted his head.

"Sirius, I am sor-"

"I need to get breakfast so you should just-"

"GOD DAMMIT I AM TRYING TO APOLOGIZE!" I shouted at him. He blinked at me.

"Well you're doing a fucking awesome job," He said coldly.

"Well you keep cutting me off and won't even let me say anything!"

"Is this how you apologize?" Sirius replied, crossing his arms.

"Shut the fuck up and listen. I am sorry about what I said, okay? Can you just accept that?" He laughed harshly at me.

"This is the worst apology ever." I was angry now.

"Whatever. I tried to apologize but you know what? What I said wasn't entirely unjustified, okay? You said harsh things and so I felt compelled to say them right back. You were trying to pry in my life," Everytime I said you, I poked his chest harder and harder. "It's all your fault."

Quickly, almost impossibly fast, He grabbed my hand and slammed me against the wall. Well not slammed me, but pushed me hard enough. He was pressed against me and his voice was cold.

"You were the one who talked about something she knows nothing about. I was the person who was looking out for you." Sirius' words sparked a new flame in me.

"Are you Sirius? Do I want to know how long you have had this information? You were probably in on it, too. I wouldn't doubt that. You would probably laugh at my expense. How long was I seeing Regulus? A week or two? And all this time you knew about it. Do not stand here and play noble hero."

"You don't know anything," Sirius whispered menacingly. God, he can be very scary when he gets pissed. I was quivering under his steady gaze. "I found out last night, when you were off drinking like a pathetic puppy. I heard him talk obnoxiously to his friends about his upcoming conquest. I heard him tell them how such a great kisser you were. How eager you were to please. How easy you are." His voice grew louder and louder by each sentence. I felt fresh tears again.

"Okay, Sirius. I get it. Just stop," I said meekly. But he did not stop.

"How awesome it would be. How amazing your body is. How-"

"Sirius, just please stop it!" Tears were flowing fresh out now and Sirius was relentless.

"What? Hear something you didn't want to hear?" I was sobbing, heaving heavily and we were chest to chest.

"You are a jerk," I breathed pushing away from. I flung the door open and ran out, ignoring Remus' shouts at me or at Sirius, I don't know who. I ignored a confused James. I ignored the stragglers in the common room. I didn't stop until I reached Lily, in the girls dormitory, where I collapsed in her arms and kept crying.

My hearts felt completely destroyed, like nothing could be fixed. I hated Regulus for being a jerk. I hated Sirius for being a jerkl. But mostly I hated him because he was...

Right. About everything. Especialy Regulus.

And now I had no clue about how to go about things.

* * *

I don't know why, but Regulus always seems to be the bad guy in my stories. But oh well. I tried to slip in some saracasticness that Katrina is famous for...but well the depressing shit took over.

Hope you like it!

lovelovelove,

Megg


	8. Hideous Pity

**WOW! Thirteen reviews! Thanks so so much to my reviewers!! I love you guys and this one is for you!**

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Remus and I were like peas and carrots again. [A/N:If you can guess what that's from, you are amazing:]

He spent most of the weekend with me, hiding out in the Gryffindor common room. It would have been way more depressing had he not been there. Oddly, I did not see Sirius all weekend. Not like I care. He's a bitch. And he would have spoiled my chess games with Remus.

Merlin I have no life. What I really wanted was to dash from the common room, confront Regulus, murder him, bury the body, and then pretend like he never existed. But I guess that was part of the reason that Remus kept me in the common room. And yes, I was complaining.

Otherwise, I had to deal with Lily. Since her outburst in the boys dormitory and my breakdown, things have been a little tense between us. She was extremely prim when talking to me, not like the old times. Again, if Remus wasn't there I wouldn't know what to do. It was like Lily and I were never friends. Like Regulus and I weren't an item. Like my fight with Remus never happened.

But by the time the weekend came to a close, I really wished Lily and I were on better terms. I needed her to support me now more than ever in my time of need.

Monday morning brought terror. Not from me. God no. I really wanted to tear somebody's throat out. No, Remus was afraid of what I was going to do. He knew better than anyone what a scorned Katrina can be like. And oh man was I scorned. Remus could see the devilish look in my eye when he walked in the common room. I was sitting oh so patiently, with my legs crossed, hands folded, and a bright smile on my face.

Please! I was jittering and I kept figeting every two seconds. But I did have a bright smile...for evil. If Remus didn't take me out of the common room, I would surely pass out. Or die. Something other than this torture.

"Katrina look. I have to talk to Professor McGonagall so...Sirius is taking you to breakfast."

I was still in my own little daydream mode. Wait...was he talking? Wow, I felt like an idiot. I turned my smiling face to him.

"What was that my best friend? Sugar? Sweetie pie? Lovely-"

"You are deranged." Remus said cautiously. I stood up, but when he didn't follow, I looked at him.

"Weren't you the person who wouldn't let me out of this common room? Now you're just going to let me walk out?" I laughed slightly, but when Sirius came down the stairs it vanished. He barely looked at me. Not that I care.

He passed me without a glance. Not that I care.

But when he stopped, standing next to me without a single glance, I really really wasn't bothered at all.

Nope.

"Remus? Are you coming?" Remus sighed at me. Did I miss something? What was this insolent, impertenient, idiotic, rude, ignorant, harsh, cruel, evil, mean, absurd, tactless-

"Sirius is taking you to breakfast. Because I asked him too." Oh. Well that explains it. In that case-

"WHAT THE F-"

"Language, Katrina!" Remus said loudly.

"NO MAN. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" I was so pissed off. I threw down my books and stomped my feet. Twice. And no, I am not kidding. Remus widened his eyes at my childish outburst.

"Kat, he's just-"

"UGH! I HATE MY LIFE SO FUCKING MUCH!" I was jumping now, still stomping my feet loudly. I really didn't care that I looked utterly retarded and stupid. I was allowed to be this way. I was not, I repeat, WAS NOT, going to go to breakfast escorted by this dumb fuck who was completely and inexplicably and irrationally-

"Suck it up, Kitten," he sneered. I really really really-

I just smacked him. I widened my eyes in shocked. I didn't think I would actually smack him. I wanted to. i mean, I really wanted to. Oh shit.

"Oh my God," I breathed. My hands were shaking and looking at Sirius...holy shit he was outraged. He was scary looking again. "I didn't mean it...I...uh, I..." I swallowed that large lump in my throat. WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH ME????? DID I JUST APOLOGIZE FOR SMACKING SIRIUS!!!!!? That's it. I'm jumping off a cliff.

Let's start with escaping this common room shall we?

RUN! So, out like a bolt of lightening, I ran out of the common room, down a lot of flights of stairs and entered the Great Hall. I stopped to see if Sirius was behind me.

A flash of black hair intercepted my view. Man he was fast. Was a vampire or something? That would explain his beauty but really...

"Where were you this weekend?" A furious and curious voice shook me out of my thoughts. Okay so Sirius wasn't that fast. I just thought his brother was him. Wait a second...

Between my befuddling thoughts and actions, I realized the sole purpose of Sirius escorting me. It was an extremely good struck of luck that I wasn't guarded.

"You son of a bitch," I whispered vehemently. He blinked in shock.

"Was I that drunk?" He mused. What the-

"-fuck are you talking about?" I completed my thoughts. I was a little out there when I was pissed.

"Did I do something to yo? Did we...?" He trailed off, slightly smirking.

Oh man I am going to wipe that fucking smirk off of his godamn face.

"You twisted little-" I sneered, balling my fists up, ready to strike.

"Regulus, do you mind if I steal Katrina away for a moment?" a voice like silk sounded from behind me.

And Sirius was also hold my hand down. Regulus might take this as something else.

He arched an eyebrow, and his face showed malice.

"My girlfriend-" FUCK YOU MAN! "-probably doesn't want to be in your presence." He sneered. Sirius, smooth as ever, smiled vivaciously. I could see an idea forming in his head.

"Listen, Regulus, I really don't want this competition between us anymore. I mean, look, Katrina isn't really into you. At least...not after what happened when I escorted her out of the ball." What?

"What?" Regulus stammered, shocked.

"Look, bro, I would like to talk to you somewhere private about this. So, let's-" Sirius made a notion to grab his arm, but Regulus shook it off. Instead of looking at Sirius, Regulus was staring me down.

"I just knew." He sneered, unaffected by any of the things Sirius said. It just goes to show you that liars have no feelings. Bastard. But..

"What did you know?" I whispered, trying to act the part of whore-caught-in-the-act. I wasn't very good at this.

"Bella told me what you'd be like. You filthy blood traitor." Man. Can such evil be so evident? Him and Sirius have their looks alike. But the one personality gene they share is that they can be pretty scary when they get mad. And I am scared.

"Look, Regulus." I started, but what was the point? I could see the logical thinking behind this.

Except my fist making contact with his face was the best solution.

"Babe," came that smooth voice again. Sirius was staring intently down at me. "We need to talk also." He slightly smiled.

"Looks like you are getting your just desserts," Regulus said, smirking and walking away. With his back turned, I quickly made a lunge for his back, hoping to choke the fucking lights out of him, the bastard. The slimy mother f-

But then, ever-present Sirius, grabbed me and held me tightly to his muscular chest.

"Bitch," I muttered. He emitted a soft laugh.

"We do need to talk. The next time you slap me," He started.

"What? What are you going to do?" He started at me with those calculating eyes. "Are you going to hit me back? You going to hex me? Because let me tell you something, bud. You do not scare me. You can't threaten me. I have known you for years now. You can't just-" He cut me off before I could even finish.

"Katrina, I have known you for years. But to be quite honest, you have shown me just how stupid you can be and i didn't think that was possible. So don't underestimate me." I flinched. Wow.

"You self righteous bastard! So you're saying that because I fell into your brothers games that I am stupid?" Why, oh why Merlin, did I feel like crying?

"No I'm syaing that because you wanted to fall into his trap. I think I have finally figured you out." When I didn't speak or look him in the eye, he continued. "Katrina, it took me a long time but I realized just the kind of person you are. You put on this front, the smart, unattainable girl front. You're smart and have a slight tendecy to look down on girls, like Sandra, who want to have some fun. But you...you want the same thing. You are a hypocrite."

"You know why I hate girls like Sandra? I hate them because they not only give themselves to guys for the fuck of it, but then turn around and act all self righteous about it...just like you. Don't even stand there and pretend like you know who I am. You have no idea who I am. Neither do I for that matter. Thanks for your theories but I don't have time for people like you...just like you inquired." Turning, I thought I made a lasting comment on him.

"Katrina, one day you will realize that what I said was truth and you will come to me." He said just loudly enough for me to hear. Sharply, I turned back towards him. But he was in the Great Hall already.

I, on the other hand, was left alone for the millionth time in four days with pity. Fucking, stupid pity.

And that's not it. Because maybe, just maybe...maybe Sirius was right. Because how wrong is he? He's right on all accounts.

I am a filthy hypocrite.

And I also needed to skip this Monday. The first time I will ever skip in my life.

* * *

_**Dear Mom and Dad,** _

_School is so awesome! I love it! Mark was right, Hogwarts is amazing!_

_**Mark!**_

_How are you brother? The grounds in the forrest were unexpected...like you said! I saw a thestral! I didn't get caught, thank god, but..._

_**TEN KILLINGS IN ONE WEEKEND LEAVES A MUGGLE COMMUNITY ON EDGE**_

_He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has striked again. _

_**Dear Dad,**_

_Is it true? Did his parent's really get killed? Tell me it's a myth. Tell me it's alright._

_**"Without you, my life was like a moonless night. There were stars. Then you come along, like abright meteor....I was complete"**_

It's ashame how depressing my clippings from my time at Hogwarts are. I mean seriously, if some teacher walked in and saw these, they would emmit me to the pyschatric ward in St. Mungos.

Not that I didn't deserve it. You may ask, what was I doing, on this pleasant Monday moring?

Cleaning the dorm of course. I already scrubbed the bathroom, made all of the beds, straightened my drawers, sweeped, and I dusted. But now that I was finished cleansing the room and my mind, I was immersed in the things that made up my life.

My suitcase held clippings, old cds, my favorite vampire love series, pictures, and a photo of some famous muggle actor who I thought was crazy hot.

Yep. Really depressing. And it was only ten o'clock.

Well, Charms just started so maybe I could sneak into the kitchen, grab enough food so I didn't have to leave the dormitory until tomorrow morning, and get back before lunch.

At the mention of food, I was out like a light, skipping down the halls.

The last time I basked in alone time, Regulus entered my life. So I was on edge as it was, afraid that some teacher would see me and give me detention worth a lifetime.

The house elves in the kitchen were preparing lunch already, so it was easy to grab a bunch of sandwiches, candy, butterbeer, and some cake. I tuffed them in my bag and ran out.

Running directly into a hard body. Why did Sirius have to be everywhere?

"Excuse me," A rough voice said. Oh wait. That wasn't Sirius. And the one time I actually thought it was him...

"Sorry," I muttered to the stranger. Looking up I recognized that dark brown hair and blue eyes.

"Katrina?" He mused. Whistling, he gave me a quite up and down look. "Didn't think you were the one to skip. Stalking me?"

Was Chase Werth actually talking to me? Is this happening? Wow....

"Yeah, my rebellious side won out and I thought, 'why not stalk the kitchens until Chase comes down?'" Wow I am a dork. "I always think about you." I said. Although it was sarcastic, it was wierd to actually voice it. Thankfully he laughed.

"Nice. Would maybe going to a broom closet help that?" He was teasing, I know. He wasn't serious. Like no way.

"That would help it actually." I said, completely serious. His teasing face noticed the flirtatious tone in my voice. He smirked slightly and grabbed my hand.

So much for making it back before lunch.


	9. Dancing the Night Away

**WOW. OMG I LOVE MY REVIEWERS!!! YOU GUYS ARE FRIGGEN AWESOME!!!**

**AN FYI: THIS SCENE CONTAINS DRUGS. ;] What is my Kitty getting into???**

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I used to think that November was one of the longest months of the year. What with Halloween ending October, and Christmas in December...what was November left for?

Well I used to think that until I was staring December 18th dead in the face. I blinked once or twice. There was no way. No friggen way. Hadn't it been November first like three minutes ago? No there was no way...Because Christmas vacation started in like one day. Which means..

"You haven't packed yet?" Lily asked upon entering the room. Had her hair got longer? She looked different...like she had a secret. What is going on?

"What?" I asked stupidly.

"Packed? For vacation? Hello? Kat what have you been doing this past month?" Oh shit.

Chase Werth. Well, there is my answer. For the whole of November, I spent all my free time with Chase and his crowd. The fast crowd. Almost every single weekend, we all went out to Hogsmeade and got rip roaringly drunk out of our minds, smoked pot, and then came back completely trashed. I have basically lived for these weekends for the past month and a half. So since today was Friday, I knew we'd do it again, one last time, before the holidays.

It was going to be a long vacation to say the least.

Back on that Monday on the first of November, Chase and I hadn't made it back before lunch. In fact we came out of the closet just as it ended and everyone was going to Defense Against the Dark Arts. Well almost everyone. His lovely sister Sandra found us coming out...and well, you can pretty much guess that she was the one who spreaded the rumor that me and Chase were now an item, skipping class so we can physically proclaim our love.

Uh-huh. I just nodded and smiled when Lily asked me about this on that Friday. Or maybe Saturday morning. I was too dazed and high to actually know what she was saying.

I guess that's what happened to my November. Looking at the time, I realized that I needed to get ready for tonight, our last adventure before the new year. I stayed simple, with jeans and a white tank top and a sweatshirt. You might think I am crazy for wearing this in the dead of winter, but I tell you, the clubs get crazy. So just keep it simple.

Lily looked over at me as I emerged from the bathroom, and then returned to her packing. Fuck. I guess I have to pack really quickly before I go to Hogsmeade. I mean, I could do it longhand, losing maybe an hour or two of smoking and drinks and Chase...

Making up my mind, I threw everything into my suitcase, not caring it was a mess. Lily looked on, confused. Then I muttered my favorite spell in the world:

"Evansco," Immediately everything was piled nice and neat, with some space left over. I smiled to myself...I am such a genius.

Lily shook her head disapprovingly. Whatever. I have magic, I should use it.

"Later," I said to her. She just sighed and didn't even look at me.

The common room was abuzz with everyone from first to seventh year, excited for the holidays. Faintly, I heard Remus call me over. I turned my head in his direction to see him surrounded by the other Maurauders. Taking a deep breath, I walked over to him.

"Kat, what are you doing tonight?" He asked me when I sat next to him. I shrugged.

"Nothing," I said. Like I was actually going to tell him I was getting smashed.

"Well we were planning a last minute party for everyone in Gryffindor so we could all celebrate the end of term. What do you think?" Like any party could match the one I am about to have.

"I, uh, have something to do," I said. Remus tilted his head.

"But I thought you said you weren't busy?" He asked. I looked around, and noticed that all of the Maurauder's attention was on me.

"No," I started. "I said I was doing nothing which doesn't qualify as not being busy."

"Then what are you doing tonight?" A silky voice asked. Yes, of course, it was Sirius. I looked at him. Has he changed? Is his hair longer? How much have I missed out on?

"I'm hanging out with Chase and his friends." I smirked. Sirius gave a light chuckle and sat back. Whatever man.

"I'd love to stay and chat but I have things to do," Nice choice of words, I thought to myself. I stood up, and left. Maybe Remus called me, but I was out like a flash.

As always, we all met near the Great Hall. I've always wondered why we don't get caught, but then again i've always wondered why Sandra and Chase, siblings, got high together. As if this world made any sense. I was greeted with a kiss from Chase and smiles from everyone else. Now the group was together, we could all get this party on.

The club, DRaJay, was a muggle club on the outskirts of Hogsmeade. Some nice beat was coming out of the speakers, and I grabbed Sandra to dance. We were bumping to the music, hip to hip, back and forth, not even high yet. The music must have changed twice before Chase joined us with muggle beer. The taste warmed my throat, and I downed the large cup and gave it to...someone. Soon it was Chase and I dancing, grinding with each other, making out, getting all handsy.

A little later, Grynor, a seventh year Ravenclaw, grabbed us and nodded. That was the cue that there were drugs ready. I smelt that he already had some. Eagerly, Chase and I left the dancefloor and followed Grynor to a back room. I noticed some girls looking enviously at me. Like they even had a chance.

"Come now, Kat, we have some pretty good pot lined up for you," Sandra taunted me. She smiled seductively at the dealer, who looked kind of hot. He had tattoos, some muscle, cropped black hair, and brown eyes. He looked down at Sandra as she scooted closer to him, leaning over him (inadvertly exposing her clevage), to grab a beer bottle. All the while, staring directly at him, smiling her million galleon smile. Yep, this was going to be cheap.

"Ready, Kat?" She said. The dealer looked at me and smiled. Of course I had to be his type. Like please. I looked over at Chase and smirked. Sandra handed me a small roll, and I was immersed in the pot fumes and the memory of my first time getting high.

_"Come on, Kitty," Sandra said aggravated._

_"Don't call me that," I responded aggressively, although I was literally shaking in my boots. My one and only thought was that I was so so wrong about Chase. I thought he was just a womanizer...not a pothead and drunk. I leaned back, as if to run away, but Chase gently pushed me forward. He took a blunt, and inhaled, smoke coming out of his mouth. And to think I actually kissed that. Ugh._

_"Come on, Kat," He said cutely. The rest of the gang looked at me, while also smoking their own. The dealer was staring at me too. _

_Just, fuck me, I thought. If I walked out, I would be a coward. If I smoked this, I would be a pothead. _

_Sirius' faced loomed in my conscience. Thinking of what he said, knowing how right he was, I got pissed. I took the tiny roll-ed up paper and took a deep inhale._

_"Easy there, Kat," Chase murmered. It was then that I discovered the best feeling ever. I finished that off and then I was inducted into the fast crowd._

At around one a.m, we were walking through a muggle park, dancing around and making loud noises. Sandra seducted the dealer to come along, so they were making out by a tree. Meanwhile, Chase and I were tongue wrestling in a tight slide, shivering form maybe the cold. Or maybe from his cold hands traveling wherever they pleased. He and I were completely entangled, engrossed, encompassed, whatever, with each other. Not a thing in the world matter and maybe this was how sex should be. If I was having it. But I would say yes, because I felt awesome. Maybe from the high or the beer or the kiss, it was just an awesome moment, being with Chase in the slide. And we didn't stop our kiss. We kept increasing it and increasing it to a level where it was so intense, that I would never forget it in my life. And I didn't want this moment to end.

But of course, it did end. By flashing lights and screams of "COPS!". The muggle-policemen.

The very first rule of the fast crowd is save your own life. Chase and I bolted the second everyone screamed, and we ran hand in hand the three miles back to the castle. We knew we were safe in Hogsmeade, though, so we waited for the others. Thankfully, everyone made it back safe, and it seems like the muggle-dealer was gone.

Huffing and puffing, we snuck back into the castle, unknown to any of the teachers. Chase and I parted ways with a small kiss.

How i hate the cops. UGH!

I was in front of the fat lady before I knew it. It seemed like three mintues ago, we were running from the law. I giggled to myself. The effects of pot.

I sighed, thinking that they would be running out soon and I would be fast asleep in my bed, not seeing Chase until after the holidays. Well except for tomorrow on the train.

I opened the portrait, expecting the common room to be empty like it usually was every time I did this, but of course, Remus' party was in full blast. Or whatever this was. I vividly remember the club...that seemed tame next to this. Maybe everyone is just playing chess. This party was boring...not a thing was happening.

"Kat! Bout time you returned...uh...wow," Remus walked over to me and he flinched back, making a funny face. Oh yeah. He smelt the pot and beer. Yep yep. I smiled and breathed on him.

"Hey!" I said maybe a little loud for this party. A few heads looked over, but no one seemed to care. Sirius was by his side in a second, looking me over.

"Long night?" He asked.

"Yeah man!" I said, AGAIN, loudly. Why was this party so effin lame?

"Remus where is the awesome music? Like what is this shit? It's so depressing! And the beer? Where is the beer?" I walked over to the record player, looking for some good songs.

"Kat, what has gotten into you?" Remus asked, a little worried.

"Wouldn't you like to know!" I laughed, putting on a record with some good beats and turning it up. The effect was almost instaneous. The elder kids got up and danced, and anyone third year and younger left. It's time for the big kids to play. This still wasn't my scene. There was no drugs or alchol or nasty dancing or Chase, for that matter. Well I was being nice, with helping people get their game on.

"I know," Sirius said, smirking at me. "Having fun?" He asked.

"Put it this way: even you couldn't damper my mood!" I said, laughing at myself.

"Ah, Katrina, it seems like you have finally gone the deep end." Sirius said, sighing.

"Suree, whatever. Let's dance people!" I grabbed Remus and Sirius, (OH MAN) and danced. Rose, the girl in my dorm, soon pulled Remus over to her, and they dacned. Which left Sirius with me. I looked him and he looked at me. We shrugged. Who gives a shit.

That's when things got intense. Nothing at all like dancing with Chase. We were one entity, moving at the same pace, with the same beat. We were all sweaty, breathing hard. His hands were placed around my waist, keeping me to him, and I one hand aorund his neck, and the other rested on his thigh. He was breathing in my ear, thoroughly turning me on. Oh geezz. This couldn't turn out good. We weren't kissing, but goddamn, we should just have sex and be done with it! Even other people noticed this! The animal intenstiy I had earlier with Chase in the slide returned full blast and I had this sudden urge to just kiss Sirius. He did look so damn fine, with his tight black shirt, exposing his musles, and blue jeans. His hair fell onto my face. Oh my god...we were going to kiss. This was it. I leaned forward, and he came down to...

"IT IS THREE IN THE MORNING! THE PARTY IS DONE!" We sprang apart, guilty. Professor McGonagall bursted in in her nightdress. "THE HOLIDAYS MAY BE HERE BUT I WILL PUT YOU ALL IN DETENTION FOR WEEK WHEN YOU RETURN IF THIS DOESN'T END INSTANTLY!" She then left.

I looked at Sirius. He was looking at me with that calculating expression, like he has been lately. Maybe we were just affected by the music. Because there was no way I was just about to kiss Sirius Black.


	10. Boys and Cake

I slept most of the train ride back home.

The morning was a blurr. I think I went to bed around maybe five o'clock. Then I woke up three hours later for the train ride. Well Lily shook me awake, but still.

For the most part, I slept. Then Chase found me and we were once again engrossed in each other. Our farewell before the holidays.

But that guilty part of me reminded me that I almost kissed Sirius Black.

When that thought came to mind, I promptly stopped the kiss and said I had to use the bathroom. All signs points to: delusion!!! Did i just stop an amazing kiss with an infamously sexy man because I might of kissed another MORE infamously sexy man? Am I not just standing in a bathroom for the remainder of the journey because I don't want to kiss an infamously sexy man because I think about ANOTHER MORE infamously sexy man? How many times am I going to say INFAMOUSLY SEXY MAN???

infamously sexy man...infamously sexy man....infamously sexy man....infamously(Chase)....sexy(Sirius. No Chase)...man(Chase and Sirius).

Yep. Completely insane and delusional. If this doesn't subside soon, my parents are going to send me to St. Mungo's for the holidays.

I took a deep breath and was about to open my stall when someone else entered.

"Unbelieveable," a familiar voice said.

"Yep. You should have seen her. I mean she was hot and all, but wow. That kind of dancing shouldn't be allowed." I knew this voice too. But I can't really remember...and who were they talking about?

"Well she was probably still high. That could be an excuse, but still. It's my brother she cheated on." Were they talking about...

me??? Wait. Oh

"...and you should have seen they way they were looking at each other..."

My

"...so are you going to tell Chase?"

EFFING GOD!!!! Just no way. THERE IS NO WAY!!! HOW CAN THIS BE POSSIBLE????

Rose was talking to Sandra? ROSE IS A COMPLETE LOSER!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!

"I might. But I could get my way with her before I do so." Sandra said. So my roomate ratted me out to Sandra? Sandra Werth? Popular, sluttly, pothead Werth? Wasn't I just sharing a joint wth her like...not even eight hours ago?! That two face, backstabbing bitch!

So, in my fit of rage, I just realized that my roomate, Rose, just told Sandra, Chase's sister, that I hot-sex-like danced with Sirius Black last night. Why would she tell Sandra? Like she even knew me? Or her for that matter? What in the world....

"So what now? What are you going to do?" This was Rose talking. I looked through a little crack in the stall and saw a worshipping expression on her face. Rose is a lot of things, annoying and wierd being the reasons I don't bother with her. But this? This desperation is just...uh awkward. How can one person degrade themselves like that? And my Remy was dancing with her...

Wait a sec. Could Rose be jealous of me because of my friendship with Remus? Is that it? Well, maybe not. But that was all I had to go on.

I leaned a littler closer to the crack and watched the two. You can get a lot of body language. Like I said, Rose was worshipping Sandra. Her eyes were bright and her hands were clenched together. She also kept glancing around her, but all the while she stared adoringly at Sandra. Ick. Like some lesbian lover.

EW!!! GROSS!! Omg! Bad thought, bad thought, bad thought!!! Negative images!

"ugh!" I said aloud and squirmed. Oh shit. Sandra turned sharply. I stepped back and opened up the door. Rose looked shocked, and Sandra...well she was equipped to handle these situations.

"Well, well, well. Looks like the little slut decided to come out after all." Sandra smiled, and placed her hands on her hips.

"Yes, Sandra. You would know all about sluttiness, seeing how your the queen of it. But how exactly am i a slut?" I quirked an eyebrow. If Sandra was offended by my words, she didn't show it.

"Please. The whole of Gryffindor saw you and Sirius last night. It's no wonder you didn't have sex with him. Your gross. So you fuck my brother and then go and do my ex? Wow."

"No, what's amazing is that you actually believe this piece of vermin," I pointed to Rose who flinched. "Nontheless, I haven't had sex with your brother nor Sirius nor anyone else for that matter. So go shove that in your-" Sandra completely cut me off.

"Do you take me as stupid? Hello? Chase told me you and him did it." WHAT????? "And do you know the only reason he went out with you is because of Regulus?"

"I fail to see how Regulus fits into this." I would like to scrape up whatever dignity I had left, but I was burned. So is this what people thought of me? Not just as a pothead drunk, but as a sleep around whore?

You may ask me, in the middle of this, what did I specify what a whore is?

Well my friend, I will tell you this: there are two kinds of whores. The first one is a general whore. She makes out in broom closets with random boys, and if you are her boyfriend, you are guaranteed sex. The next is a sleep around whore. You don't need any relationships with this one.

And that is exactly what this is. Because I just realized that Chase and I were never a couple. He never formally asked me, nor I him. We were just make out buddies, his flavor of the month.

Perhaps that, above all other things, should make me not care about this situation. I was stupid not to notice it before. Why should I feel guilty about 'cheating' on a 'hook-up'? Will this world ever make sense?

"Because, Kat, he told almost every guy just how easy you are." Slapped, right in the face.

Two points to the men. Negative five million to Katrina. I drew in a breath to calmly relay my epiphany to Sandra.

"Does it matter, though? Chase and I were never together. We just made out. Friends with benefits." Sandra faltered some, and another realization hit me in the face. "But this isn't about me. This is about you. You're jealous because i danced with your ex-boyfriend whom you still have feelings for." She flinched. JACKPOT!!! "So suck up the pride you still have and move on. It is obvious he has." Sandra was silent, affected by my words. I took this pause to move on to Rose who shook at the mere gesture.

"And Rose," I placed my hand on her shoulder which made her jump. "Rose, I would just like to specify that Remus and I aren't into each other...like that, Okay? Just nod, so I know you are processing all of this and not shitting your pants." She nodded and Sandra scoffed. "That was the good news. The bad news is seeing how you went and told Sandra all about my...escapades, I highly doubt Remus will have any interest in you. If he did, one talk with me will change everything." I pitied her. How hopeless is she? Is she really tearing up about this? Puh-lease.

Get Real.

"Well as if this hasn't been pleasant enough." I nodded at Sandra and Rose, the former glaring at me like there was no tomorrow. I gave her a pained smile. "I'm sure you will hear more about me...very soon." With these last words, I left, en route to the back carriage where I knew a certain boy will b4e. All my anger from the last time engulfed me. I knew Sirius would not be there this time to stop me from making a mistake. I suppressed a shudder, and clenched my shaking hands. This is bound to turn out ugly, very fast.

"Dear, cousin, do tell me, how has your term been?" A proper, firm voice echoed out of the last carriage. I cringed. Although I am a pure-blood, I am what you called a blood traitor. My father never did agree with my Grandpop's lifestyle. So when he went and married my mother, whose last name was a disgrace to the whole wizarding community, he was promptly disinherited from the family, and scorched off the family tree. Luckily, my father was an excellent Healer and was working fulltime almost three years out of Hogwarts.

I never noticed how different we were. After all, I am in Gryffindor where the blood-traitors are all friends. But it is times like these when I realize the choice my father made. And Thank the sweet Merlin he did.

"Just splendid, dear," Oh God gag me. Can you be more stereotypical? At least act like you don't have a billion galleons, and something stuck up your nose. No seriously. When they talk, it sounds like some ointment or something was pushed up there. Maybe their parents did it to them when they were born, so they could talk all proper and shit. I wouldn't doubt it.

I snickered. This was going to be cake. And I do love my cake.

I slid open the compartment door to blank stares and confusion. Their thoughts was so obvious: What was a blood traitor doing in here? Just give me a break. I spotted my fair-haired man quickly and smiled.

"Regulus, my darling," He rose an eyebrow and stood.

"What do you want, blood traitor?" He said loftily, earning a few laughs out of this. Was this the best he could do???

"You didn't call me blood-traitor when we shared a bed." A slight air of confusion entranced him and I moved on. "But surely, you are not telling everyone that, dear? Because it wasn't blood traitor at all. It was more like baby, sweetie, sexy." I winked at him. An epiphany hit him and he scowled. "But oh wait. I'm mistaking you for your brother. Right. Now I remember."

"What do you want, Heartfaw?"

"So now we are on last name terms, Black? I see how it is. Use me for sex and leave me. Sounds about right." He stepped closer to me and I couldn't help but remember what happened the last time we were this close....those memories needed to be burned.

"Again, what do you want?"

"I just wanted to know what was going threw your mind when you told everyone that we slept together?" I smiled.

"Don't act like we didn't." Is he for real?

"And don't act like we did. Because why would I go to you after I had your brother? Didn't this end because you found out about us? So tell me, Black, because I really want to know, why would you spread rumors about us?"

"Katrina I really wouldn't test my patience," He said, sneering. I stepped ever so close to him, and...growled. Yep no kid. He looked shocked.

"This isn't even about you, dumbass. Because I know, almost all to well, about your bet. Don't even deny it," He didn't. "I'm warning you, if you keep saying shit about me, you will wake up in St. Mungo's, not even remembering your own name." Always so calm, he rose and eyebrow. And that's what threw me over the edge.

"Am I supposed to be afraid of a blood traitor?" He quipped. I looked around me, at all those faces. Every single one of them was mocking. So what I did next I would never regret.

I pulled my fist back and it landed right smack dab in Regulus' nose. A mild scream and blood spurted everywhere. His friends were around him in a second. I, on the other hand, upon realizing the intensity of this situation, pulled the door opened and ran out. Some heads popped out in the corridor, wondering what that scream was.

Then I found a safe compartment. Well...from Regulus, not from my heated anger.

"Katrina," A silk like voice came from behind me. I looked around and saw Sirius, which made me jump. He smirked and nodded. "Always a pleasure." I looked around and noticed that none of the Maurauders were in here. So it was just me and Sirius. All alone. And after last nights events, this wasn't a very good idea.

"So I just punched your brother in his face and made it sound like you and I had some affair. But he already knew that." I was all breathless, ragged. Sweat was coming off of my forhead and my hands were calmy. Gross. I robbed them on my jeans and sat the furtherest away from Sirius and the door.

"Nice. I've always wanted to do that. Tell me, was that the scream I heard?" So maybe the scream wasn't so mild, seeing as Sirius had heard it and he was in a different carriage.

"Yes," I said, still breathy. Sirius definitly noticed this, and he daringly stood up and moved next to me.

Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man. Some one. Save me!!! He's too close. No no no. Air goes in and carbon dioxide comes out. In and out. In and out. Omg now I have to think about sex? In the presence of a sex god? Why are you being cruel to me God? Why? What did I ever do to you? Breathe. No, don't hold your breath. DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH!!! And do not act like something is wrong. No don't look in him the eye.

Oops. Too late. Eyes are locked. Was he saying something?

"..time this all happened?" He said.

"I'm sorry. What did you just say?" Was I seriously heaving? No seriously? Because it was just way to obvious that I was having a panic attack. BREATHE!!!

"i said, do you remember what I said to you, the last time you almost fought Regulus?" And the answer was: yes. Oh-ho yes. Was there ever a string of words that I would so easily forget? Because his lasting impression on me was that sooner or later I would be his. I would choose the latter because right now, I think my lungs stopped working.

"Umm...maybe a little," I lied. So what? We all lie. Everyone lies. Everyone. Right? RIGHT? OMG am I seriously questioning this now? Of all times?

"I think you do remember. Otherwise, what are you doing here?" What am I doing here?

"Well, I thought this compartment was empty, because Regulus had a lot of friends and all. I ran in here to be safe." Talking just made me worse. Just shut up, right now Katrina Heartfaw or you are not eating your mother's Christmas cake.

And I do love my cake. I smiled. Wait? No. Don't smile. Sirius was looking at me now. Calculating. Why was he always looking at me like that?

"Why do you always look at me like that?" I voiced my thoughts.

"Like what?" He asked, thoroughly confused.

"Like you're always trying to figure something out. And you do it all the time." I said and threw up my hands.

"But don't you rememeber what I said?" He asked, yet again.

"I said yes. Now why do you keep asking?" What was he even referring to? What part of it?

"Because I was wrong. So very wrong." He got up and left the compartment. But about which part was he wrong about?

The part where he thought I'd come to him eventually?

Or the part where he figured me out?

* * *

**WOW! This story is getting a lot of views and I would like to thank my reviewers, again, because you are oh so awesome!!!!**

**Lovelovelove,  
Megg**


	11. PreChristmas Drama

I was oh so right about my mom's Christmas cake.

But it was only Christmas Eve and I couldn't wait until tomorrow. I mean really...If you had my mom's cake, you would understand where I'm comin from. It's delicious!!!

My brother Mark returned home for the holidays, which was a surprise since he was supposed to be in France. Another surprise is that he and Cassandra were engaged. For three months.

"And why didn't you tell me at the Halloween Ball? Was it not that important? Now really, I am your sister and I should have known!!!" I was a little pissed. It was just him, Cassandra, and me sitting at the dining room table, waiting for my parents to put out dinner. Which is another thing that sets us apart from the other purebloods. Aparently they have elves cook their meals. My mother does all of ours. And thank the sweet Merlin she does. No one can make a better roast than her.

"Uh, Sis, you were sprawled out on the floor, semiconscious. That is the last time I ever get you firewhiskey." He pointed a finger sternly at me. Well that's why he didn't tell me.

"For the record that was the only time you sent me firewhiskey. And besides...I've learned to hold my liqour well." He smirked at me.

"Sure. And next you'll tell me that you smoked pot or something."

"uh, yeah, I have." I said. Here we go. You know what Kat, just keep your big mouth shut for now on.

"Like I would believe you. And where did you even get it?"

"Well...this kid....you with a face..." There was a reason why I was being evasive.

"Katrina."

"Well, I don't really know his name." He quirked an eyebrow. "Really we just make out and smoke and call it a night." Why oh why did I have to open my big mouth???

"Am I supposed to believe this?" You asked for it.

"Chase Werth." I said. His eyes widened and he almost dropped his wine glass.

"No fucking way. Katrina Isabella heartfaw...you are a fucking idiot." It's funny when someone says your full name, you just know they are going to yell at you. But coming from Mark? Now really?

See when Mark went to Hogwarts he was like...the Sirius Black of sorts, with a lot of Chase Werth mixed in. He was stunningly handsome and a womanizer. He made Sirius look like a virgin. He was also the king of the fast crowd. He had all the hookups and what not and he never ever got caught. He basically laid the foundation for all future memebers on said crowd.

Now, Chase has two other siblings besides Sandra. Matthew and Veronica were Mark's closest friends during his time at Hogwarts. For the most part, Veronica and Mark were just friends. She was like Sandra, always willing to help for a free smoke. She was a slut but also incredibly intelligent. But in seventh year, Mark and Veronica got hot and heavy...and oh man do I mean it. They snuck around and did all sorts of things. No one even knew about it until before N.E.W.T.'s. They were found in a broom closet doing things best friends shouldn't do. When Matthew found out, he went beserk. I really never found out why. You would think he would be happy for his sister to have found someone....

After that, Mark swore off the fast crowd, making Matthew the leader. Veronica ended things, and again I don't know why. Mark wasn't the slightest affected, though. He moved on like any self-respecting man would. Now for some odd reason, Mark never did talk to them again. It was unlike him to hold grudges.

It is also unlike him to yell at me.

"Excuse me??" I said atonished.

"Kat, you know what those people are like!" He slammed his hand down on the table, sparking my anger.

"Of course I know what they are like! They are just like you!!!" It was no wonder that my parents didn't come in and say anything. We were pretty loud. Cassandra, for the most part, was just listening and not saying a word.

"Katrina I really don't want to get into this with you. Not now. Wait until later. Please." My jaw dropped. He did not just give up. Not like that. He wasn't afraid of my parents reactions so there was no reason for hi to concede.

But he did. And now I had to wonder why.

"Here we are." My mother bounced out of the kitchen and into the dining, smiling, holding the salad and vegtable. My dad was behind her with the roast. Christmas Eve dinner at the Heartfaws was almost better than Christmas.

"Mark, I am so glad you made it." My mom said for the thousandth time this evening. Gee, I don't hear, "Oh, Katrina, you look well!" or "Katrina, my beautiful daughter, I'm so glad you choose to come home!' or "Have you been smoking pot, Katrina Isabella Heartfaw???"

Okay...maybe not that last one. And okay, maybe I get a little peeved when my brother is home. It is so like parents to dote on the prodical son. I mean Mark and I were never the same. I was always little Miss Goodey Two Shoes and he was the one you just knew Professor McGonagall would write to you about the first day back to school. While he belonged to the fast crowd, I belonged to the library with boys like Remus. But it seems like in the past few months, I had lost my bearings. You can't just change like that.

Now when I look at myself, I see a pothead. A drunk. A cigarette smoker. And a slut. I turned into Sandra Werth. The girl who I used to loathe with all my being. I am now the type of girl Sirius would date. The type Lily would hate. I don't even think I like Remus any more. I haven't thought about him since...before our fight.

Silently, I ate my roast and contemplated this. In September, I was a no one. Well not exactly. I was Lily Evans best friend, Maurauder's worst enemy, and crushing on Remus Lupin. Now...well now I am not any of that. But if I could take it all back, I would. Boys never gave me a second glance. But after the whole episode with Regulus, guys want to be with me for all the wrong reasons. I was so afraid of losing my best friend to the Maurauders that I didn't realize that I drove him away. And Lily...Lily Evans. I turly miss her sarcastic take and medium eye on everything. She used to be able to guess what was wrong when I was within ten feet of her. Now she has no idea what is going on in my life.

Maybe I could fix all of this. I could start new with the second term. I could start with Lily and move forward and maybe find a guy for me...

"..and the Potters are coming over too. As are the Lupins..." Cough cough. "Katrina...are you alright?" My father asked me, concerned.

"Excuse me. Go back to Potter and continue" I downed my glass of water, never taking my eyes off my father. Oblivious, he repeated what he said.

"Well sweetie, Mr. and Mrs. Potter, my good friends at the Ministry, are coming over for Christmas dinner. I invited them. Remus will be coming too. Aren't you happy?" he smiled, completely ignorant to the fact that I was about to burst a blood vessel.

"uh-huh." I said drinking some more water. This was too much. Way too much. Oh dear.

"So, anyway.." My father continued. My head was spinning.

"Can I be excused?" I interupted. All heads turned towards me.

"But, honey, you haven't even finished your roast. ANd I have pumpkin pie for dessert. Are you alright?" My mother asked me. Do I look alright?

"I'm feeling a little ill. I just want to lie down." My mother 'tsked' me and I stood up, and dropped my napkin on my plate. Once I was clear of the dining room, I dashed off to the backyard.

Outside, a nice breeze flitted through my hair and I pulled out a cigarette. Taking a long draw, I knew I couldn't give this up. Not just yet. Someone was stirring in the kitchen and I decided to take a walk.

It was sunset, the perfect time to be out. The beach was only a few miles away and by foot it could take me at least an hour. But oh well. I could run...thinking this, I dropped the cigarette and started to run, but I immediately felt winded. The effect of smoking. Still, I kept at it, my breathing coming out harsh and ragged. I felt like I wans't even running. I used to be fast. But now my legs were giving out and I only covered maybe half a mile. I stopped, panting, and put my hands on my knees. Looking around me, I noticed I was in Remus' neighborhood. This was all too much to handle, and this night was spinning out of control too fast.

I started to run again, and ignored the pain in my legs and chest, and ran all the way to Remus' house. He was shocked to see me when I opened the door.

"Kat?" He said, bewildered. I was still breathless. He was just speechless.

"Can I come in?" I panted. I mean seriously...don't you invite someone in when they are dying on your doorstep?

"Uh..sure." He opened the door and I walked in and sat on the couch. "Do you want water?" He asked and I nodded, noticing the uncomfortable way he was ringing his hands.

Remus' house was like a log cabin. He had sparse furnishings, a large couch, a bookcase, and a dining room table. Remus was simple.

"Here you go." He handed me the water and sat the furthest away from me he could. I rose my eyebrows and said nothing.

"Where is your parents?" I asked. He looked at me, and then away.

"Away." Something is up.

"Remus." No response. He ddn't even look at me. "Remus. Look at me. What is wrong?" Still, nothing. "I can't help you if I don't know what is wrong." Nothing again. "This was a mistake." I got up to leave, putting the water down on the table.

"Katrina." He said softly. I looked at him. "Katrina, I just...I don't know what i really want to say to you. Besides the fact that I really don't know you anymore."

"Yes you do." I replied to him.

"But I don't. Because you aren't the same. I really don't care what vice you choose it's...it's the fact that you are his now."

"What are you talking about Remus?" I was shocked to see his face so full of hurt.

"Katrina you are Sirius' now."

"What are you talking about?" I said a little hysterical.

"Everything, everything you do is all in a vengeful hate against him. But you have no idea how much you are like him. Or how much you like him. I saw you, on the train that day. As a prefect, I needed to see what the commotion was about. On the way back from the back carriage, I saw you two. You and him...you were looking at him like he was your world. And honestly? He was looking at you the very same way. You're not my Katrina anymore."

"Why do you do this to me?" He looked away, hiding his own tears. "Why do you always do this to me? Am I supposed to know these things?" He looked back at me, confused.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"But I know. I know you like me, Remus." He scoffed and stood up.

"The truth, Katrina? Do you want the truth?" He looked down at me, unsmiling.

"Always." I said.

"I haven't loved you since the day you started loving him."

"What are you talking about? I don't love him! I don't love anyone!" I cried. I was being pathetic, to say the least. We were both crying, and for what? The justification of me liking Sirius, which I truly didn't?

"Wrong, Katrina! You are wrong!" He bellowed. Standing now, I was right in his face.

"Wrong about what? I don't love him. I don't even kow him!"

"Katrina, you do love him! How stupid are you! You've loved him since the day he was your potions partener! Don't you see?" He laughed harshly. "Everything you do is in spite of him. The drinking, the smoking, dating his brother, dating Chase Werth. Katrina, spare me, will you?" He walked into the kitchen. Angrily, I followed him.

"So now what? You think you have this all figured out. But you hold a torch for me. I know it." How pathetic am I? Sighing, he turned around and faced me.

"I told you, I don't love you anymore."

"But you used too." Jeez, Kat, you blew this one. Merry Christmas to us!

"How could I not?" He whispered hurt. Maybe if I could just change his mind. Very quickly, I kissed him. It was a rough kiss, and I almost missed. He didn't kiss me back, instead he pushed me away.

"I think you should leave now." I looked at him for a long time before turning and walking out the door and back to my house.

The one thing I was so sure of was that I thought he and I were okay. But now that wasn't true. In fact, now everything is screwed up. Everything sucks. But I do know one thing: I didn't feel anything with that kiss.

* * *

**ahhhh!!!**

**Okay, I really thought this would be the Christmas chapter, but that will be the next one. Which should be interesting...or not. But at least Katrina kissed Remus...and it was an epic failure!! Looks like three out of the four princes were frogs.....hmmm......**

**Anyway, I hope you like it. I'm on spring break, so maybe I fit in another chapter soon!!!**

**As always, I love my reviewers!!! YOU GUYS FRIGGEN ROCK MY LIFE!!!!! AHH!!!! Thank you so much for your input!!!**

**Lovelovelove,**

**Megg**


	12. Melodramtic Christmas

"Katrina!" Mark pounded on my bedroom door.

I was not opening it. No I was not. Not not not. Nope. I am going to stay in this warm bed, ignore the world on Christmas Day, and then start a new life somewhere in South America tomorrow.

"There are presents..." Mark said. Well...that's a deal breaker. I hopped out of bed and tore open my door and saw Mark grinning at me.

"Hey." He said walking in. No presents in his hands.

"Where are my presents?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Uh, at the end of your bed. Where they always are." I looked down at the bottom of my bed and noticed a huge pile of presents.

"You can get out now." I gestured towards the door. Mark snickered.

"You can shut the door. We have to talk. We didn't get the chance to since you ran off yesterday. By the way, where did you go?"

"Nowhere." Was my knee-jerk response. It was better than the truth. That was just down right humiliating.

"Uh huh." Was all he said. I started to open my presents while Mark sat, and watched me. After about the first gift, which was from Lily (a nice gold chain necklace) (which was a surprise), I grew tired of his silence.

"So what do you want?" I asked, fastening the necklace around my neck. Thank the sweet Merlin that I sent her a present or I would feel pretty stupid right now. Mark straightened up and looked at me.

"Right. Well it's about Chase Werth. You really shouldn't be seeing him." I laughed and reached for another present.

"I know that. Or rather I have known that. He was just using me and I was using him. No biggie. It's practically done now." Well it was done for two reasons and both had to do with the same guy. And no, I will not utter his name. Not even in my mind. Because Remus' words did effect me. And oh man I did not like what I was thinking.

The present was in a velvet black box and I opened it to see a charm bracelet. It had a diamond, a gold snitch (an old hobby), a black book with a tiny little apple on it, a black dog, a red heart, and something that looked remotely like-

"They're fangs." Mark said smiling. "I know how much you look those stupid books." He sighed and looked at me. "The diamond is because you like jewelry. The snitch is from when we used to play quidditch together. I remember you used to like that. The book...well obviously is coincides with the fangs and heart. Stupid love stories." I laughed. I looked at the dog, perhaps the most intricate of them all. It was black with silver eyes. It was cute.

"Why the dog?" I inquired, curious. We never had an animal before.

"Because I thought you might like it. I was running out of ideas of what to put on it, and that just looked like something you would like." He smiled. I leaned over to him and hugged him.

"It's gorgeous." I said, as he helped me fasten it on. This, like Lily's necklace, was gold. And it looked really good on me. Mark was right. I loved jewelry.

"So, anyway, Kat, I'm glad to know that you haven't gotten serious with this boy. I mean, I thought you were serious with Regulus, but I really don't know. Quite honestly, I sincerely hope you aren't serious with any boy." He said, shaking his head. I snorted.

"Don't worry. I'm not." I grabbed my next present.

"What about Remus?"

"Just friends." Barely, I thought.

"Well what about that boy?" I looked up at him quizzically.

"What boy?" I asked.

"He had dark hair, tall, grey eyes-" I dropped my present.

"How do you even know Sirius?" Was all could utter. And yet, I had no idea where this was going.

"He helped you out of the Great Hall that night. I mean, he seemed genuinely concerned for you, so I just thought maybe he was a little more than a friend or-"

"We're like not even friends. Not even aqaintences. We don't even talk. Much. He's just my potions partner. That's it. Really. Well his best friend likes Lily, but that's it. Yep Uh Huh. Nice talking to you." Just shut up, Katrina. Mark looked at me wierdly, but didn't say anything on the subject. And thank God he didn't. Just fuck me. Now really, of all the things he told me that night, he didn't mention that maybe he was the one carrying me out?

Let it go, kat. Just let it go.

For something to do I opened all my presents slowly. My parents got me a new outfit, a dress, earrings, and a shit load of books from a Muggle bookstore. Remus, and couldn't even believe he got me a present, gave me the gold set of potion materials and cauldron. I couldn't even believe he got it for me. First, I've always wanted it since our first trip to Diagon Alley. How he even remembered that ws beyond me. And secondly, it costed...a lot of galleons. And this made me realize that I had to talk to him, no matter how upset or hurt I was.

My last present was a journal. It came with no letter and I have no idea who it came from.

It wasn't like ordinary journals. Well it had some words on the front, and there was writing in it. It looked more like a book that kept records of...sex?

Then it hit me. I slammed it shut and read the words on the cover, everything suddenly making sense and also leaving unanswered questions at the same time.

MERLIN'S BEARD!

* * *

The Potters didn't arrive until six, and I was well on my way to the liquor cabinet when they decided to ring the doorbell.

"Kat, honey, could you get that?" My mom called from the kitchen. Why not. I mean, I am convinced that for me to actually make it through tonight, I would need like seven bottles of mead and a couple of shots of whiskey. Nontheless, I took forever in the shower and therefore short on time to get drunk.

And short on time actually means that I have no more time. Dammit.

I sulked to the door, very unhappy to be greeting the Potters. It's not like I had it out for them, it's just by association. I walked up to the door, put on my best fake smile, opened the dor and greeted Mr. and Mrs. Potter first.

"Hey, come on in." Come one, you're not that old. Move faster than that. I looked at James, and almost fainted. I almost died. No I think I did die.

because there was no way in hell that Sirius Black was standing on my doorstep.

SHIT YOU SAID HIS NAME! HE IS IN YOUR HOUSE!! OMG KILL YOURSELF KAt!!!

"Nice seeing you too," He whispered, shutting the door behind him. Looking at me, he smirked.

"What are you smiling at?" I breathed. Although the last time we actually saw each other I was about ready to snog the life out of him, now I felt wierdly out of place with Remus' words still very fresh in my mind.

"The look on your face. Did you not know that I was coming?" He asked. WIPE THAT FUCKING SMIRK OFF OF YOUR FACE!

"I was aware that the Potters were coming, not you." I said slowly, almost trying to understand why he was here.

"Last summer, I ran away and I have been living with James since." We were still in front of the door.

"Must be fun." I said trying to make small talk. And also wanting him to go into the dining room with everyone else.

"It is. So tell me, did you-" There was a knock on the door, and I quickly tore it open. Remus was standing there. His face had a thousand and one words written all over it.

Without a word, I grabbed him and led him off to the side hall. He was still silent.

"I don't even care what was said last night," I started, feeling very choked up. "But one thing remains and that is no matter what, you will always be my friend. And I will always love you like that. Remus, I can't live with the fact that I have hurt you in the past and I am truly sorry." Remus looked at me, and he wiped a stray tear from my face. Why do I have to cry all the time in his presence???

"Kat, it's not your fault. You can't help who you love." A pained expression formed on his faced and I closed my eyes.

"Please, don't say it. I don't want to hear it."

"You will always be my friend and I am sorry for the way i treated you last night. I have no excuse for it." I opened my eyes and looked at him. I noticed the way his hair was combed back, but looked a little dull. The tired yet forced expression. The tiny, almost invisible scars on the side of his face. I knew the full moon was coming soon and felt a sting of sympathy for him.

"I just want to forget it, okay?" He nodded. I grabbed his hand and we walked out of the hallway, into the sitting room. Walking over to the mirror, I asessed that my face looked presentable. I squeezed his hand and let go.

The dining room was loud with chatter. Mark was talking to James and Sirius. Cassandra and Mrs. Potter were laughing at something Mr. Potter said. When we entered. My mom and dad started bringing dinner out.

"Come on, everyone, it's dinnertime!" My mom said merrily. James saw Remus and called him over, greeting him. I sat on the other side of the table. When everyone sat down, the one side of the table had the Potters, and Mark and Cassandra. Which meant..

Both of the chairs on each side of me pulled out and down sat Remus and Sirius. Oh you have got to be kidding me.

"Like I was saying, did you like my book?" He said as he sliced me a piece of ham.

"I barely read it." I said. "Thanks," I muttered, as he put the ham on my plate.

"That's ok. It's a lot." He smirked.

"Why wouldn't it be. It's all about your..adeventures..." He laughed.

"I might even have a piece about you." Oh fucking Merlin. Please, just please, kill him. Or me. Someone kill him.

"Don't spoil the ending," I said, trying not to lose my cool. But it was obvous I was going to loose it. My hand shook as I reached for the lemonade, my bracelet dangling. Sirius quirked his head to the side. When I finished pouring, he abruptly grabbed my hand. Sending a shock of lightening down my spine.

It's because I hate him. Yep. That's why my spine was shivering. There was no other reason..yep none...

He examined my bracelet closely and then looked at me. Just looked. With that fucking calculating expression I only ever see on him.

"What?" I whispered trying to break the tension. Admittedly, I felt a strong pull towards him, much like that on the night we danced. He was silent for a moment.

"I like your bracelet is all." He let my hand dropped and continued eating his food.

I looked over at Remus who gave me a questioning look. I shrugged and gave him a helpless glance. And the rest of dinner followed this very suit.

All the while, I couldn't help but examine Sirius' and I's relationshop. It was very much your stereotypical hot and cold one. If only we were actually together. One minute, We hated each other. Well I hated him and he just kept 'trying to figure me out'. The next second, I feel this sudden urge to just...kiss him. And then he pulls away. I think that the reason why I could never really love him is because we are never on the same page. Never. Also I can't stand him, and I don't give a shit about all that opposites attract bullshit. That is just so not true in this case. But maybe he loved me. Is it possible? Him giving me his journal of conquests must have meant something. I think I know the amnswer, but I couldn't put it together just yet.

Sirius didn't talk to me all evening. In fact, he straight out ignored me, not even sparing me a look. Funny. Because for the first time ever, I really wanted to say something to him. And I'm not letting this go.

While they were leaving, I knew I only had one shot left before school. I was about to risk my sanity on this question, but I honest to God needed to know.

As I waved Remus off, I grabbed Sirius, much like I did Remus, and took him to the sitting room.

"I have to talk to you." I said very urgently.

"But i have to go. Can it wait?" He said impatiently, like he didn't want to be in my presence.

"No. Why did you give me you journal?" I asked. He looked at me.

"Isn't it obvious?" Was all he said.

"No." Nothing you ever say or do is obvious, Mr. Jackle and Hyde. Why did I just think that?

"I'm not going to tell you. Figure it out." I groaned, frustrated.

"God, if I knew, would I be asking you?" I exclaimed. He shook his head.

"This is all on you." I stomped my foot.

"Look, Sirius, I don't have the patience to play your game, okay? I have no idea why you gave it to me nor do I even know what the fuck you mean half of the time. God, it's like trying to translate ancient runes. You're basically fucked if you don't know what you're dealing with." He just watched me during my outburst, always calculating.

"I'm not telling you, so you can just nix that idea. Maybe if you read the book-" That does it.

"I am not reading about your sex life. That just isn't happeneing."

"There is more to it than that."

"Could have fooled me." He looked a little hurt by that comment. I sighed and closed my eyes. "No, I'm sorry. Just forget it." I felt him coming closer to me and I opened my eyes, seeing a very tender expression. He lefted my chin up (his fingers were warm), and looked at me levely.

"Just read." He said. Then, he turned quickly and left.

This wasn't real, I thought. Maybe I would wake up and realize that it was November first again. All this would have never happened.

But maybe I didn't want to erase it all. If you never had a nightmare, how good would dreams be?

* * *

**THANK YOU TO MY REVIEWERS AND VIEWERS!!! My reviewer noted that my last chapter was boring. When reading it, I kind of felt the same. But it was like a stand in chapter, laying the foundation for this one. And I really liked this one. Although It moved pretty fast.**

**Anyways, have a happy easter! **

**lovelovelove,  
Megg**


	13. An Adulteress Trainride

**first, and foremost, I would like to thank my very excellent (and super fast) beta-reader, BrokenSnow.X!!!! She is awesome and amazing!!!**

**Also, my reviewers....wow guys, just wow. 42 reviews? I love you soo soo soo much! I adore hearing what you think about my story and you're the reasons I keep on writing!!!**

* * *

"I really have missed your apocalyptic visions-esq." I told Lily over some Muggle music playing on the radio. We were sitting on her bed, flipping through magazines, and catching up. Just like old times.

"Visions-esq?" She quirked her eyebrow at me, donning an amused look. I shrugged, emitting a laugh. "Wow. I see your vocab has seriously increased." We looked at each other and laughed.

It was New Year's Eve, and I was currently staying at Lily's house. If you're wondering why I am here, I will sum it up in one name: Sirius Black.

After the whole scenario at Christmas, my mind felt like it was in over drive. Well it felt like O.W.L.s all over again. So when my delightful parents started talking about inviting the Potters over for their New Year's Eve party, I just about lost it.

"I-no. Just no." I said abruptly. My father looked at me curiously.

"But, Kitten," I cringed at the nickname. "The Potters are nice. Their son, James, is a very nice gentleman. As is his friend, Sirius. You looked quite smitten with him." I cringed again.

"Of course you would pick the boy who is the most annoying, insolent, idiotic, mind-blowing-"

"I'm sorry dear, could you speak up?" Oh. I was muttering again.

"Right. Dad, look." I paused for a moment to think of something, anything, besides the obvious truth. Which, in the most confusing way, was not entirely obvious. This befuddles even me; you would have thought she might have figured some of the puzzle out by now.

But I haven't. Maybe it is because I refuse, point blank, to read that damned book. I won't read it. Not even if it was life or death.

"Katrina?" My dad said, bringing me back. Unfortunately, I haven't thought of anything to get me out of the predicament. He sighed. "Look honey, we'll talk later, okay?" My father stood up and patted my knee. He looked at my charm bracelet and smiled. "Mark knows you so well." He commented, and then glanced at my neck. "Did he get you that necklace too?" He inquired. Instinctively, I touched it and smiled.

"Oh no, Lily did." And with that name an idea sprang into my head. Smiling, I continued. "You remember Lily, don't you?"

"Yes, of course. She's a bright young woman. You write about her a lot, how could I forget?" He smiled, and was about to walk out of the room, when I called him back.

"Dad, wait." I stood up as he turned his head. "The thing is that Lily really wants to see me." This isn't true. I just wanted some way to get out of this predicament. "And well, maybe I could go over there for the remainder of the holidays?" I smiled sweetly, praying to the good God he would say yes. My dad frowned a little.

"Well, as nice as that idea is, what about your mother and I? We would like to see you off. We won't see you until June. You spend Easter at Hogwarts, remember?" Shoot. I thought I had a great idea. Well I can always just trug through, like a brave soldier. I could just sit through an evening with Sirius. Maybe he would ignore me. Maybe he would trap me in the pantry...not a bad idea...

STOP RIGHT THERE KAT! THE CHRISTMAS CAKE HAS GOTTEN TO YOU!

Did I just think about being stuck in a closet with...ugh..._Black_? I would rather kiss his brother all over again. God, not even the Medal of Honor is worth this.

"How about you meet me on the platform on the second? I mean, at least you would be seeing me just one last time..." I trailed off. My father thought about this and then said the most magical words in the entire world.

"Okay dear. That sounds like a good idea." I squealed like a little girl and hurled myself into his arms. He chuckled. "Okay, go pack. Dinner will be in about an hour."

And from there, I wrote to Lily asking for an answer ASAP. I used Mark's owl, Myra, and packed while I waited.

I decided to leave Sirius' book behind. Just staring at the title sounded like a porno in a book. "Black Velvet". Sheesh. How tacky could you get? How does a womanizing, self-righteous, ignorant bone head have so much action? God, he sickens me!!!

_Stop being hypocritical, Kat. You wanted to die in his arms like every other girl in the book._

A shudder escaped me and I promptly dropped the book near the window. My mind was reminding just how insane I was.

Lily's short response flew in right after dinner that night. "Sure," was all it said. Hurt engulfed me for a minute, but I promised her I would let her in on everything that has been happening to me, so what else would she say?

"Let me read this book of his." She asked, bringing me back to present day.

"I told you, I left it at home. I also told you that I was not reading that damned book. Why would I? So I could have a lovely sexual education?" I asked. Lily looked at me, with a serious expression.

"You never know," She said calmly. "You could learn a good trick or two. He is the sex God, after all." A moment of silence followed after that, and then we both busted up.

"Wow, Lils. Great insight." I giggled as I ate a s'more. It was twelve minutes to midnight, and I was feeling a little drowsy. Hanging out with Lily brings back the tamed Katrina. I used to love these times when we could just hang out, not a care in the world. It feels great to go back to normal.

Well, almost normal.

"So you've hooked up with Chase, punched Regulus, and kissed Remus?" I nodded. A bright, brilliant smile lit up her face. "Don't you realize that three out of the four guys you like weren't your type? Your prince may very well be Sirius." Oh fuck me.

"Lily," I said smiling. "If you ever repeat that sentence again, I will jump off a cliff and then come back as a ghost and tell the whole world you pushed me." I am such a genius.

"Okay, Kat, you are losing your marbles." I scrunched up my face and tilted my head in mock confusion.

"Wait. Isn't it the guys who lose their marbles?" I asked oh so innocently. She laughed at my retarded joke.

And the rest of my New Year's Eve followed this very suit.

* * *

"KITTEN!" My father practically bellowed from across the platform. Oh Merlin, just spare me the humiliation! I spun around and smiled widely at my parents with an expression that said 'Be-quiet-or-I-will-kill-you-and-bury-your-body.' My mother raised her eyebrows.

Hey. I have a semi-popular status and that cannot be ruined by the folks.

"Hey guys!" I smiled. My father squished me in a bear hug. "Can't breathe!" I whispered. He let go and smiled sheepishly. I love my daddy.

"How was your New Years darling?" My mother asked.

"New." I said. They laughed softly at my joke. "No, but it was fun. Lily and I listened to a band called the 'Breedles'?" I frowned a little. Lily just happened to be walking past with her parents.

"Beatles, Kat. They're called The Beatles." She laughed and waved at my parents.

"Hello Lily!" My parents said simultaneously. I bit back my laughter.

"Hey Mr. and Mrs. Heartfaw! Good Holiday?" She asked. Her parents waved hello to mine.

"Yes, it was terrific, thank you! You must be Mr. and Mrs. Evans!" My mother said. And well...you know what happens next. The parents start talking about this or that and Lily and I are left standing next to each other, exchanging weird looks.

"This is odd." I whispered.

"Yeah, seriously." Lily whispered back.

"What are we whispering about?" a male voice asked. Lily and I both shrieked and loud snickers echoed from behind us. I looked back and saw Sirius and James smiling at us.

_Cough DOUBLE DATING cough. Maybe I should get you some cough syrup, Mr. Conscience._

_Absolutely. In exchange, I'll slip you some Veritaserum and see just how much you really like our Mr. Black._

I really, truly, hate my conscience. [_Love you too_].

I lightly smacked Sirius on the arm, whose eyes lit up in amusement.

"Careful there, Kitty. Another hit like that and you might make a mark that lasts more than ten minutes." James snickered and started talking to Lily, leaving Sirius and me all alone.

"Nice, Sirius. Is that the best comeback you have?" I asked, watching everyone from the corner of my eye. Maybe if I didn't look him in the eye, I would be less likely to want to snog the life out of him.

"Hit me like that again, and I'll trap you in a compartment with me. With the doors locked, and lights out. Maybe I would we could play tag, or hide and go seek, or I don't know..." He smiled oh so suggestively, bringing my eyes to his stormy grey ones. "..Seven minutes in heaven?" Oh God. I gulped and bit my bottom lip. Only Sirius could render me speechless.

His eyes brightened and had a daring edge to it. In a second though, a deep fire replaced that edge and it was like going in a time warp to the night of Remus' party. We were only about a foot apart now, but Sirius was making sure that he closed that space. His breathing fanned onto my flustered cheeks.

All I keep saying to myself was 'don't stop looking in his eyes, don't stop looking in his eyes, don't stop looking in his eyes...' Like a prayer, hoping he wouldn't notice how very insecure I felt.

I was also praying another chant and it goes a little something like this: GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!!!

Almost as soon as this all started, I tore my gaze away from his and looked around me. Lily had her eyes planted firmly on us, while still talking to James. The Potters joined my parents and the Evanses. They got along nice. I looked at the clock and noticed that the train was leaving in about fifteen minutes. There were a bunch of cats on the platform. I vaguely noticed that Remus was missing, as was Peter. I wondered where Chase was...just to punch that slimy smirk off his face.

Basically, I looked everywhere but Sirius' eyes, who emitted a low chuckle. Daringly, I slid my eyes back to his and I was once again trapped by his sexy allure.

Oh Jesus, Kat, you just had to think about sex, now didn't you???

"Know what I love?" He asked so very seductively. My muscles tightened in my stomach, and I felt my knees go weak. And fuck...I really wanted to snog the LIFE OUT OF HIM. I clamped my hands down at my sides.

"W-what do you love?" I stuttered while trying to gain control over my hormonal body. Oh sweet Merlin! A slow, sexy smirk came upon his face. Oh yeah...he noticed.

"I love making you get all flustered." He stroked my face with his nice...nice....uhhh-

Oh God.

Losing every ounce of control I had, I pulled him against me and wrapped my arms around his neck. My breathing was very fast and ragged. His eyes widened in surprise, but he was an expert at this and told me so when he placed his hands on my bare back. Oh man.

"Kat," He whispered. I couldn't tell what he wanted or what he didn't want. But his arms were still secured around my waist and I was revelling in the feel of his embrace. He was so strong, built like a Greek god. He smelt like the outdoors, with some sexy, spicy scent stinging my nose. But his eyes...oh my lord....his eyes were so intense and readable. Right now, they were fierce and bright. I could just melt in his arms right then.

But of course I was forgetting perhaps the most important part: my parents were right behind us. Sirius and I were not alone (perhaps for good measure too). But I didn't even realize this...Lily did when she came over and practically wrenched me away from Sirius. James stood by, with a confused expression on his face.

Oddly, when we were separated, I immediately felt as if something was missing. Our locked eyes finally broke when Lily pulled me around the corner and looked at me levelly.

"Look Kat, although it's weird for me to watch you uh..." She trailed off. "Okay, look. You can't just get it on in front of your parents, no matter how friggen hot you are for him." I was torn between laughing and scared.

I opted for the latter first.

"Did they..?" I motioned towards my parents.

"No," Lily sighed, shaking her head. "Thank God. They were spared the sex fest." That did it: I laughed so hard that I thought my gut was going to burst.

"What?" Lily asked, very confused.

"I mean, you talking about sex is just...wow..." I kept on laughing. "If James was here....oh man he would lose his marbles!" I said, still laughing. Lily, however, was not laughing or smiling.

"Maybe if Sirius was here, you would be sucking the life out of him. And no," She smirked evilly. "I really don't mean his face."

I started coughing.

"That was mean." I said, gasping for air.

"Whatever. Look, next time, use a-"

"KITTEN!!!" Mt father boomed, saving me from Lily's very obvious comeback. I mouthed, 'This isn't over,' to her and walked to my parents, a soft snicker coming from behind me.

"You have everything?" My mother asked, as she hugged me tightly.

"Yeah," I responded, while hugging my father after her.

"Even this?" she pulled out the god-forsaken black book. Quickly, I snatched it from her hands and put it in my purse. She looked confused.

"Uh, well, this isn't mine. I was holding it for a friend..." I said all too quickly. I looked around to see if anyone saw this...and thank God no one did.

"Okay," she said, pulling in for one final hug.

I raced to get on the train, and got into a compartment near the front...the safe haven where guys like Chase, Regulus, and especially Sirius, would not venture. It was too close to the prefect's compartment.

Lily came by to let me know she would be back twenty minutes after the train started.

I 'yeah, yeah-ed' her. I was in a rush to read this book.

Why, you ask me? The answer is quite simple: maybe I could get inside his head, and the next time we meet, I won't get all flustered and lose my control.

With this in mind, I flipped open the book, skipped the first few pages until Sirius' neat scrawl started.

Name: Jennie Gaden

Sex: Fourth year, lost it (he lost his virginity when he was fourteen????)

Rate: -2 (Well what did you expect????)

Notes: Terrible. She kept saying how much she loved me and all. She wouldn't get on top, or give me a-

I quickly shut the book and shivered. This was extremely personal. As judgemental as I would like to be, I realized that his thoughts were right here and I was about to risk my sanity and maybe even my virgin conscience on it. Making my mind up, I opened my trunk, and stuffed this on the bottom.

I was not brave enough to read through it at this very moment.

I started to drift off while waiting for Lily and soon found myself in a...well....

Let's just say I knew I was dreaming when I found myself in a red silk baby doll, on a very nice bed with a shirtless Sirius. But as shaky as I normally get in these situations, the dream Katrina was all cool and very sultry.

"Yes, my love?" Sirius tilted his head to the side, grazing my elbow with his warm touch. The dream Katrina leaned in slowly and teased him with a light kiss, electrifying my dreaming nerves. Then his eyes got all intense as he slowly grabbed my bare leg and swung it over so that I was on top of him, and my hair fell into his face.

I needed to wake up and fast.

The dream Katrina smiled very teasingly as she stroked his fine chest....

GET ME OUT!!!

Sirius started to lift the red baby doll...

HELP ME!!!

Now Sirius was in top, looking very much the professional I knew he was...

Aw shit. I'm just fucked, aren't I? (Nice choice of words?)

As the scene unfolded and I was forever scarred, I was slowly being shaken awake.

"Kitty...oh Kitty..." Someone said.

"Uh-huh...Sirius..." The shaking stopped and I heard laughter.

And oh my God.

My eyes sprung open and I saw a too familiar face looming over me with a delighted smirk planted on his face.

"You were dreaming of me?" Dreaming of you? God, it was more like a friggen porno.

"Uh, no. No. I just... knew you were waking me and I uh..." I ran a hand in my hair and smiled innocently at him. He shrugged, letting it slide and then sat down...

...Right next to me. DO we have to keep repeating history???? He smiled down at me and leaned back, stretching his arms and placing them on the back of the chair.

That very obscene dream sequence was now replaying in my head. I asked myself, daringly and stupidly, what would dream Katrina do?

She would probably already be on top of him, tongue wrestling.

Ew. I shivered.

"Cold?" He asked, inching a little too close. Well, hell. Our knees were touching. Touching.

"Uh no. No. I just, uh, had a slight brain freeze," I said, looking forward. I rested my hand on my knee.

Sirius snickered. I was going to look at him, but fought against it.

"What?" I asked, still looking at the other side of the compartment. Still chuckling, he placed his hand over mine.

Surprised, I looked down and realized that I had placed my hand on his knee. Hastily, I took it back and crossed my arms. Accidently, I looked over at Sirius and he smiled.

Quickly, a little too quickly, I turned my head to face the window and felt my neck crack.

"Ow," I whispered, rubbing my neck. Sirius' warm hand replaced my and he was suddenly pressed against me again. His hot breath shot down my spine. Suppressing the loud moan in my throat, I shrugged his hands away.

And then, AND THEN, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE DID????

He pushed my hair back and KISSED MY NECK!!! LIKE A FUCKING VAMPIRE!!!

And, of course, I was surprised so I gasped REALLY LOUDLY and PLACED MY HAND TO STEADY MYSELF ON HIS...YOU-KNOW-WHAT!!!!

His eyes went wide with shock and I immediately covered my mouth, muttering, 'OMG! I am so sorry!!!"

Then, THEN, like the idiot I was, I...well...I...I...please God...

I rubbed his...ahem..._area_...because I thought I hurt him. It was more like a medical rub though!! Only a lot more fast and stupid...

I WAS NEVER GOING TO LIVE THIS DOWN!!!

Upon recognizing what I've done, I pulled my hand back and stood up, sprinting to the door.

"No, no, Kat, just hold on." Of course, he was faster than me and beat me to the door. I had no pride left, so I did not look him in the eye. "Come, on Kat. Give yourself a break. Look, it's-"

Whatever words he was saying were cut short when the door opened and Lily stepped in.

I was never happier to see Lily in my life.

"Hey Kat, I was just wondering if-" When she saw Sirius she stopped abruptly. "Well, I'll just leave you two alone." For a person who knows when the world is going to end, she is really oblivious to the fact that I just wrongfully molested Sirius, who might have liked it.

It was going to be an awkward train ride to say the least.

* * *

**OH YEAH! SOME SERIOUSLY CHARGED ANIMAL MAGNETISUM....wtf?? Really don't ask. You will get chapters like these when I read Vampire Diaries. And again, just don't ask. And just a fyi: No, Sirius and Katrina didn't kiss on the platform. I read through it and noticed that it read like that, but she only (practically) jumped into his arms. Her self control, (who goes by the name of Lily), stopped her. **

**i just cannot wait for the next chapter. It's already forming in my head...and wow is it DIABOLICAL!!!! Haha. It could start out two different ways, but all the same...I just cannot wait.**

**Anyways, I'll start typing soon so I hope you enjoyed this one!!!**

**Lovelovelove,  
Megg**


	14. Not An Afterthought Anymore

**Again, thank you oh so much to my beta reader, BrokenSnow.X. Thanks for the instant reply too!!! You are seriously awesome! Again, Thank you to my reviewers and I hope you enjoy this!**

* * *

"Chocolate Frogs."

"Nope."

"Liquorice Wands."

"Uh, yeah."

"Bertie Botts Every Flavored Beans."

"When I feel dared."

"This is boring," Sirius sighed. Stubbornly, he stuck with me in the compartment even though I did not dare to look at him. I just stared out the goddamn window, wishing for a friggen cigarette.

"How about we play I-Spy," He suggested. A sudden urge to give him an ugly glare was suppressed.

"We are not four, Sirius." I said. He chuckled.

"So? Do you have any better ideas?"

_Twister in the dark? Surely you would like that._

"Nope. Not a single idea. Guess that means it would be boring to sit here with me..." He sighed, AGAIN.

"Listen Kitty, I am not leaving until we resolve this conflict." He finally said. Could he have maybe said this like, oh I don't know... TWO HOURS AGO!??? It's like he lives to torture me. Well this is Sirius. He gave me that cursed book in hopes of me to 'understand' what he was thinking. But no. OH NO. I had to go and read the first like three friggen sentences and all of a sudden I was Jennie freaking Gaden in my own sick little dream.

I'm a sick, sick, little kitten.

"What conflict? I have no idea what you're talking about. Frankly, the only conflict would be the one you're trying to pretend to be true, and it isn't, therefore making it a conflict that really has no intention of being resolved." Silence.

"Err-what?" Was all Sirius said. Two points for Katrina...I just befuddled the enemy. Next step is redemption!

Well, redemption for my lost pride....

"Exactly." I uncrossed my arms and peeked at him. Oh, he was confused all right. "So we have an understanding now?" I stood up, as did he, if only to know exactly where this was going.

"What understanding?" He was still confused. I smiled.

"Sirius, I thought that you understood there was nothing to be resolved. I mean come on," I laughed shakily. "You were the one who came onto me and all, so really..." His eyes widened in surprise.

"Me?" I nodded. "Me? Me? Are we in the same universe? If I remember correctly, _you_ jumped into _my_ arms." Here we go. Do we have to keep reliving that?

"Me? _You're_ the one going all smokey eyed on _me_, trying to seduce a naive, innocent, young lady!" He snorted. "_You_ were the one who gave _me _that journal for who knows what reason!" I exclaimed.

"_You're_ the one who came into the compartment that day!" He shouted, raising his arms. I vaguely noticed that he skirted around the journal explanation...and I thought I had him. Dammit!

"Please. Out of protection. You know who you're brother is. Besides, _you _came onto _me_ that day, AGAIN." He snorted.

"_You_ were all over_ me_ on the dance floor." It was my turn to snort.

"No,_ I_ was dancing with _you and Remus_ and then he left and then _you _were practically groping _me_." He smiled, ever so slightly.

"Not like you didn't like it." I kept my jaw from dropping and could only give him a death stare.

"Not like you didn't like seeing me miserable." He cocked his head to the side.

"We gonna keep going there? I was stupid, and I really shouldn't have done that to you."

"You keep going down this road. The one where you think I have an attraction to you? Which I don't. For any of the past pretences, I was stupid and I really shouldn't have done _that_ with _you_." He stared at me...like he was hurt.

"It's not like I didn't want it." He said ever so softly. I felt a little guilty. I uncrossed my arms and pushed my hair behind my ears, swallowing.

"Well no, I was teasing you." I said to him. He shook his head.

"It's my fault for pressuring you. You wouldn't have done that if I didn't egg you on." Exactly, you dipshit! But I wasn't so heartless to say that to him. Actually, I had no idea what to say to him. Who knew Sirius had a heart?

"Well, I was the idiot who gave in." I smiled shakily. It's like every friggen time I get close to him, I'll lose my bearings. LOSING BEARINGS IS NOT GOOD WHEN SOMEONE WANTS TO HIT THE SACK WITH YOU!!! Like a crazy person, my head says one thing and my mouth goes a totally different root. Because when has this world been fair to me? Huh? Like, Merry freaking Christmas, Katrina! YOU JUST MOLESTED THE BOY WHO SERIOUSLY WANTS YOU AND NOW YOU'RE STUCK IN A COMPARTMENT WITH SAID HOTNESS!

Get a hold of yourself Katrina. You cannot lose your damn mind.

Staring at each other for a long time, I willed the compartment door to open.

And it did...and in popped Lily and James. Who, I noticed, looked slightly annoyed, angry, and maybe amused. Since when have they hung out? I was beginning to think Lily and James were a little more than friendly.

Wait a minute. What were they even doing in here? Two hours ago, I practically begged, on my knees (well not really) for her to stay, and SHE LEFT! Why now?

"To answer all your questions," Lily stated, like the psychic (cough cough PYSCHO cough cough) she is. "You need to sit down because we have to talk." She gestured towards the other side where Sirius and I sat next to each other, curious as to what they were doing. Together. Alone. In a compartment.

Sirius and I looked at each other and raised our brows. Who knew James and Lily have been getting in on?

Ew. Bad thought, bad thought!

"Listen you two; we have had about enough of...this." She gestured towards us wildly. A slow smile crept onto my face.

"What ever do you mean _Lilykins_?" I put extra emphasis on Lilykins, and she narrowed her eyes.

"I mean how you and Sirius shag like wild animals." Shocking she could say shag without going red.

"Excuse me, Lily," Sirius interrupted. "I hate to break to you; we have not even kissed yet-"

"Not like you didn't want to," James said, smiling. He crossed his arms at him.

"Yet?" I quirked. As if that would ever happen.

"Do we have to keep going there?" Sirius asked.

"Going where?" I knew exactly where, but I would do anything to get out of this awkward situation with our friends.

"Look Kitty-"

"Katrina." I corrected him.

"KITTY," He said loudly, seemingly not hearing my correction. I smirked. Oh wow did I have a good comeback.

"You may think I'm a kitten, but oh sweetie? I'm a tiger in the sack." We looked at each other.

Then we started laughing like crazy.

"Good one," Sirius said, a little breathless.

"Listen you two!" Lily exclaimed, clearly frustrated.

"You seriously need to get some-" I elbowed Sirius in the ribs to stop him from completing that sentence.

"Shut up!" She yelled. James intervened at this point, and glared at Sirius.

"You two cannot keep doing this, understood? For people like Lily and I, we are tired of seeing you two getting it on one moment and then argue the next. It's annoying, immature, and stupid." I was a too angry to actually realize that James was being serious for once.

"Immature? Of course you would know all about that James. This isn't your business, so stay out of it, got it?" Did I just defend me and Sirius' relationship?

Back up. Did you just say the R word?

DID YOU JUST SAY YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH SIRIUS?

SON OF A B-

"Katrina, this is for your own good." James said. I snorted.

"The only 'good' you care about is getting in Lily's p-" I started but Lily cut me off.

"Okay, well let's make a bet." I was stunned silent. Lily was never the risk taker. EVER. That was my road, obviously, and this was just...

"Excuse me?" I asked her. Looking at Sirius, I could tell he was equally surprised by this too.

"You heard me. Here are the risks." I was surprised she knew the lingo. "You and Sirius have to stop doing this."

"Lily, you're new at this. This is a bet and anything could have a loophole. And let me tell you, the word _THIS_ has a loophole."

She smirked. "Okay, have it your way. You and Sirius cannot touch, talk, kiss, hug, or do it with each other. The only time you can talk is in the classroom, considering you are potions partners. If you do, well..." She was at lost for the stakes. James smiled, an idea hitting him.

"You lose, and I stick you two in a broom cupboard, for good measure." Sirius and I looked at each other.

"That's a brilliant idea and all, James, but if we are doing it behind your back, what makes you think I won't purposely lose the bet to get Sirius in the closet?" Sirius smiled down at me. We had them good.

"You two lose and I will read your diary to the Great Hall."

"NO!" I yelped. That wouldn't be good. I was too scared she would to actually feign stupidness.

"And Sirius...I will read your Black Book and no one would want you." Well, funny thing is that I have his little black book. I shifted and looked down.

"He gave Katrina his black book." Lily said, a little confused. No, no. In the silence, James gaped, open mouthed, at Sirius, who nodded in return. I had no idea what was being translated between the two, but this awkward situation just got all that more awkward.

Was that even possible?

I was beginning to realize the two things that were not good for my health: Sirius Black and silence.

And mixing the two... well I would be basically asking for it.

And you know what it is.

Freaking out was also not a good thing, but I couldn't help it.

Slowly, VERY FRIGGEN SLOWLY, James grinned.

Scarily, I may add.

It was also a little creepy.

Correction: WAY creepy.

"Ew, James. What the fuck?" I said. He looked at me, still grinning.

"Katrina." He sighed, still smiling. Okay, so it was that time of the day.

Freak out time.

"WIPE THAT FUCKING GRIN OFF YOUR FACE JAMES THOMAS POTTER!" I yelled, surprising everyone in the room. All the blood surged to my face as if I was hanging upside down.

Maybe I was.

"First, my middle name isn't Thomas. Second, Sirius' girl-"

"You finish that sentence, and I will maul you."

"-Friend, you should have realized, by now that-" He was cut off by some blonde lunatic, pushing him to the ground. That deranged person then preceded, to jump on James, but couldn't even get a punch in because some very fine, very muscular man pulled me back.

As you can tell, I am not naming names because I would be pushed over the edge.

"Sleep with one eye open, Potter. One eye open." I pointed at him, my eyes wide. He looked more amused than frightened.

"Katrina, do you realize you're too cute to be scary? So, in other words, you really don't terrify me." Being calm was hard to do when someone was egging you on.

"And do you realize, Potter, that the last person who said that to me received a broken nose from your truly? Do not test me." And then.....

For the love of the Divine Creature who created this world, could you at least, JUST ONCE, shut someone up before they speak????!!

"Now I can see why Sirius likes you. You must be really feisty in bed."

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" I shrieked, trying to jump out of my prison bars. "Sirius, LET GO!" I yelled, looking up at him. He looked so hot when he his adrenaline was pumping.

SO HOT.

"No, Kat." He answered simply, staring down at me.

"Don't make me make you." I threatened. He laughed at me.

"Like you could."

You really shouldn't have said that.

Time literally stopped, and realization hit me real hard.

At first I thought, just no way. Sirius knew how to get me to do something. All you had to do was egg me on. Or dare me.

But, if everyone knew that, why didn't they try that? Look here with Regulus. Couldn't he have just dared me to do him? I would have done it! Too much pride gets you into those kinds of situations! I never thought I'd smoke pot, but again, my pride was shot and I'd rather look cool instead of a loser.

I guess I was a loser for giving in, but that isn't the point here. There is only one person on this earth who knows this control over me. Sirius knows how to drive me insane, make my skin crawl, but he also knows just the way my brain functions.

You may ask me, what does this matter? I will tell you because I will never admit it openly. For too long, I tabooed the obvious but I can't do it much longer.

Simply put: Remus was right. I really do like Sirius.

As in like like.

This epiphany chilled me to the bone. I was too aware of how close he was too me, of his breathing, and of other things. I no longer held a light pull for him.

Nope. I held an intense desire for him right now that the closeness was almost unbearable. It was like a newborn vampire faced with fresh blood, but finds themselves blocked. A heroin addict chained down with heroin just out of his reach. Point? You can't resist but you're forced.

Oh wow. Ignorance was bliss.

Cautiously, I inhaled his scent and tried to step out of his arms.

I was being watched, I knew that. I also knew that the psychic had her vision and knew exactly what was going on in my head. I looked at Lily. Fuck yeah, she knew. I don't call her my best friend for nothing.

Slowly, cautiously, I backed away from Sirius and James. Once again, Sirius was looking at me with that calculating expression.

I guess I am back to square one.

This is not good.

* * *

**Sorry it has taken me so long to update! I hope I haven't kept you waiting....**

**...=]**

**lovelovelove,  
Megg**


	15. Bribed, Sold, and Lost

TO MY SPEEDY AND AWESOME BETA-READER: YOU'RE AWESOME, YOU'RE AMAZING, AND IF I WAS FAMOUS, I'D PAY YOU.  
TO MY REVIEWERS: THANK YOU SO SO MUCH AND I AM SORRY FOR YOUR WAIT, BUT HEY...IT'S MAY AND TEACHERS DON'T LIKE US!

TO MYSELF: FINISH CHAPTER SIXTEEN!

ENJOY!

* * *

"How long will this last for?" I asked Lily, laying my head on the table. Exasperated, she put her book down and looked at me.

"Until the end of term." She said snippily. I groaned, and banged my head.

"Is it exams yet?" I murmured. She sighed.

"It's barely been three days! God, it's like you're addicted to him!" She almost yelled at me.

"It's been like nine years!" She looked at me. "Okay, damn. Three weeks." She still looked at me. "Lily, it has been three weeks, one day, six hours, and twelve minutes since you started this damned bet."

"You are obsessed." She said simply.

"If I had a heart, I would be hurt. BUT SOMEONE TORE MINE OUT! NAMELY MY BEST FRIEND! UGH!" I banged my head, again, on the desk. "Okay, OW!" I complained, rubbing my head. Looking around, the common room was buzzing. The Marauders were in a secluded corner, planning a new prank. A couple of seventh years were chilling out; excited it was February of their last year. Lily and I were studying...Well she was and I was complaining.

Like I have been for three weeks.

"I'm going to bed." I said abruptly. There was nothing else to do down here and agonizing over Sirius was a lost cause.

"Okay," She mumbled, pouring over an open book. I closed my bag, and stood up. I secretly glanced over to Sirius, and saw that he was staring at me too. For a moment, when our eyes locked, it was like heaven on earth. But then James nudged him, and he broke our gaze.

Well, At least it was something. I surely can't complain. It's not like he was agonizing over me...of all people. Like really... that would be asking for a miracle.

Twenty minutes later, I was changed and in bed sleeping.

* * *

It was summer. Well at least it felt like it. The sun was blazing over a pool, with a scenic garden all around it. It took me a moment to realize that this was Lily's house. I've spent almost half of my summers here since first year. It took me another moment to realize I was not alone.

It looked like a normal day. The kind where we chilled in the pool, getting burned beyond belief. Except this time, James and Sirius were there. I could understand Sirius being in my dream, but James?

I looked down and saw myself in the same two-piece I have worn for the past two summers. My hair was the same stringy, light blonde color.

Lily laughed, very dream-like I may add, and kissed James.

Wow baby. What the fu-

"Katrina! Come on!" She laughed and she and James jumped into the pool.

Sirius walked over to me...shirtless, I must add. And holy sweet Merlin was it ever a good look for him...oh man oh man oh man oh man...

He smiled at me, all confident, and scooped me up in his arms. He leaned down, hovering over my face, his silky hair tickling my cheeks. He was two inches away from me...one inch...I memorized those perfect red, smooth, lips before he went in... half a centimeter away.

"WAKE-UP! YOU ARE GONNA BE LATE!" Lily screeched. I was shaken out of my beautiful dream to see her running around like a crazy person. I looked at my clock. Oh yeah we were gonna be late.

"Why didn't our alarms go off?" I asked logically. She stopped and looked at me, about to put on her shoe.

"I don't know. I mean-EW!" She squealed, and tore off her shoe. Something really gross was on her foot. It was kind of green and gooey. "OMG! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, KATRINA?????" For a moment, I was stunned into silence. Not because of the goo, but because Lily just cursed.

She said the F-bomb, the baddest of the bad words. It was the mother-load.

"You just cursed. You just said fuck." I smiled slightly. Lily looked angry and tore off her grey sock.

"Yes, Kat. Thanks for saying the FUCKING obvious. You're so FUCKING great!" Lily yelled, clearly in a tantrum. Mumbling she opened a drawer, slammed it shut, then opened it again and took out another pair of socks.

"Who the FUCK did this?" Lily asked, looking at the stunned faces. I knew. I was just surprised Lily didn't realize this by now. "When I find the bastards that did this, I am going to fucking mutate them. I swear to Merlin, they will pay." Shouldn't she know who did this by know? For all her apocalyptic visions, she was clueless to the obvious. "Who would put this in someone's shoe for the pure pleasure of torture? Who would do this at all? God was this some kind of stupid prank?"

Then she stopped everything she was doing. Her eyes widened, and her nostrils flared. She threw her shoe at the door, grabbed my arm, and stomped out of the dorm.

Finally she knew who did it. But then, I realized, she was going to the perpetrators themselves and bringing me with her.

In my pyjamas, which consisted of baggy flannels and a white tank top.

And let's not even talk about my hair.

"Uh, Lily. Look I-"

"Shut up Kat." She stormed up the boy's dormitory and kicked the door opened, in a very sexy-esq manner...not that I am swinging for that team. Inside, the boys looked up in surprise. Everyone was dressed and almost ready to go...except for Sirius.

You can almost guess that he was the one holding up the crew. You can also guess that he was shirtless.

Déjà-vu much?

But of course, like my dream, I couldn't tear my eyes from that chest, built like Adonis. That solid, tan, muscular-perfect chest.

If only we weren't in this bet, I would just jump on top of him and proclaim my undying love.

UNDYING LOVE? DID I JUST SAY I HAVE UNDYING LOVE FOR SIRIUS!!! IT WAS JUST A CRUSH! YOU FUCKING PERV! OMG-

"-and then I put my foot in my shoe and then guess what happened James. No," Lily laughed harshly. I had a feeling I missed out on a lot. "No, James. You don't have to guess. You know what happened next. WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?!" She screamed at him. James had a blank, almost innocent expression.

I looked at Sirius' face and he was amused. He was putting on a shirt, and I sighed. He raised his eyebrows at me.

What can you expect, man? You're fucking hot! Don't act all innocent. I snickered at myself.

"Katrina!" Lily yelled at me. I looked at her. "Will you tell these boys off for me? They seem to actually listen to you." Lily said, frustrated.

I was about to just obey her, but then, a golden epiphany hit me.

Oh I was so gonna get her.

"Lils, as much as I want to listen to you," I started smiling. "I can't tell them off, because you won't let me talk to Sirius. You're on your own now, sweetie." I patted her shoulder and shrugged.

I swear, if smoke could come out your head, Lily would be fogging the entire room right now.

"Katrina Isabella Heartfaw," she said in her 'don't-you-mess-with-me' voice.

"Please, spare me." She actually growled at me.

I sat on the floor, and looked at her, smiling.

"Katrina, I am going to get your journal and read to the world that you l-"

"I SWEAR TO GOD YOU FINISH THAT SENTENCE, AND I WILL.....I WILL..." Think, Kat. Think quickly. What will get under Lily's skin and make her pissed at you beyond belief?

I slid my eyes around the room, and stopped on the person who drives her crazy.

I smiled devilishly.

"And I will lock James in a broom cupboard with me...for four long long LONG hours. He won't even remember his name when I am done with him." Her eyes widened a little. Lily was a pretty good actress. She could conceal any emotion.

"I'll lock Sirius in a cupboard with me, then. He won't remember you when I'm finished with him." I love Lily and all, but she just wasn't good at this game.

"Please. It's impossible to forget you had Katrina Isabella Heartfaw. Now, then. About that journal?" I finished, looking at her intently.

"Katrina, please. Get it out. We all know you like S-"

"CEREAL! I LOVE CEREAL! IT'S AWESOME!" Shit, she's really pushing the subject.

"Not cereal, but Sir-"

"SERIOUS CONVERSATIONS! SERIOUS CONVERATIONS ARE GREAT!"

"DAMN YOU! STOP CUTTING ME OFF!"

"YOU STOP TRYING TO GET MY SECRET OUT!"

"IT'S NOT EVEN A SECRET!" Lily screeched, throwing up her hands.

"SOME BEST FRIEND YOU ARE, LILY!"

"DON'T EVEN THROW THAT IN MY FACE! GOD, THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD! YOU ARE LIKE SOME KIND OF PSYCHOPATH!"

"ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS? GOD, LILY, DON'T EVEN TALK ABOUT LIARS!"

"KATRINA, PLEASE! WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE ABOUT YOU?!" Honestly, at this point, I forgot why we even started fighting.

"ME??? PLEASE! GOD, YOU MAKE EVERYTHING ABOUT ME TO GET THE HEAT OFF YOUR SHOULDERS!"

"OH GO SNOG SIRIUS!"

"I WOULD IF THIS STUPID BET WASN'T PREVENTING ME! GOD, I WOULD BE SHAGGING HIM RIGHT NOW IF THIS BET WASN'T IN PLACE!"

"SEE!" She screamed suddenly, pointing at me and looking at James. She looked pretty crazy."I TOLD YOU SHE LIKED HIM!" I snorted.

"And why don't you go shag James? We all know you want to. You know what," I said, excited at my new idea. "Usually bets have a time frain. But I have a better idea. If you James touch, kiss, talk, or do anything with each other outside of Potions, then I will tell the whole school what you and Ryan did on the Hogsmeade trip AND that you like James. Talk about ruining your life." She stopped dead in her tracks. What? You thought she was innocent? Give me a break.

She's about as innocent as Sirius.

"No way." She said hoarsely.

"Why? Afraid Sirius and I might actually win? Geez, Lils, I didn't know you couldn't keep your hands off of him." I smiled at her face.

"I'm going to kill you in your sleep, got that Heartfaw?" Lily said through clenched teeth.

"Fine. Go ahead. But now everyone knows that you and James are doing the dirty-"

"I accept this challenge." James said, intervening.

"The hell we do." Lily said, snorting.

I looked over at Sirius while the two lovebirds argued with each other. He had a curious expression on his face. He had a powerful aura around him that I couldn't even begin to describe.

He looked gorgeous. So gorgeous that it took all of my self control to stay off of him at this moment.

And I wonder what he thought about me.

"Fine." Lily finally said, regretfully. "We concede."

"Good then. I have to get dressed now, gentleman." I said, tipping my head. A pair of eyes followed me out of the room.

School that day was interesting. Lily and James were very forced in their actions. Sirius wouldn't stop looking at me (not that I was complaining). Everyone else felt something was going on, but didn't know what.

All in all it was a very weird day. And there was only going to be a million more before the end of term.

Oh sweet Merlin.

* * *

"Wait what is this?" I asked Lily Saturday afternoon. We made up, like good friends, but the bet was still in place. We were currently at Hogsmeade, looking at an odd candy in Honeydukes.

"Some weird bug candy."

"Ew." I said and hastily put it back on the shelf.

"Do you think it tastes like bugs?" She asked as I got some liquorice wands, and Bertie Botts beans.

"Would you like to find out?" I asked.

"No thanks." Smiling, I paid for my candy.

"You know Lils; life is pretty boring without boys."

"Tell me about it. You took my best." I choked on a jelly bean.

"You didn't...?" I snickered.

"Nah. I'm just pulling your strings."

"Thank God."

We walked in silence for a few moments. We passed the Marauders in Zonko's. They didn't even see us.

Suddenly, I missed being with Chase. My mind was saying, 'Now really, he lied to you," but my entire being was like, 'Oh babbyy...'.

This is what happens when you're source of entertainment is taken away from you and you're stuck with memories of boyfriends past.

I mean hook-ups past.

Sweet Jesus, why? Just why?

"Hey Lil, there's Ryan." I said pointing over to a little section of Ravenclaws. He was pretty good looking...okay he was fucking hot. Ryan waved at Lily. She sighed.

"Go ahead, Lils. I'm going back to the castle." She looked at me suspiciously. "I swear." I said to her.

"Fine. But this is only because you had to bring up boys. Not like I want to..."

"Oh you want to." We looked at each other and busted up laughing. We parted and I started towards the castle with one thing on my mind.

Chase Werth and me in a broom cupboard.

I knew for a fact that those Ravenclaws don't go into Hogsmeade when we were allowed. I also knew he was probably just getting up, and therefore the only one in the Great Hall. I thanked my good spirits that everyone was in Hogsmeade and I didn't have to deal with the rest of the fast crowd.

That would be disaster. I didn't need Sandra Werth breathing down my neck.

I still hated her for the train incident.

I walked into the Great Hall, and saw Chase all by himself. THANK GOD!

I walked up to him confidently and sat across from him. He slid those sexy eyes over my body until they finally found my eyes.

God I missed his silk brown hair, his hard (and no I do not mean that) body, and those luscious lips. God Katrina, you really do need to find a good guy.

"Can I help you Katrina?" He asked, leaning back a little. He was wearing a tight white shirt, throwing his nice muscles in contrast. They weren't as big as Sirius' (GOD WHY DOES EVERYTHING SOUND LIKE A DOUBLE MEANING?), but just as pleasing. I so wanted to make out with him. Right now.

And yes, this does make me a whore.

Do I care? Right now, no. Later? I'll probably still be in that closet.

It truly has been awhile.

"You know, aside from the fact that you totally lied about us sleeping together," I started and he smiled and tilted his head. "I had some fun with you." He laughed.

"Where is this going?" It was my turn to smile.

"But don't you know where it's going?" I said, looking at him in the eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes. Please God, have mercy on my soul.

"You're a very interesting girl, Katrina. Most girls would stay far away from me and spread rumors." He took a sip of his orange juice. I flirtatiously leaned over and placed my hand on his. Thankfully, he didn't jerk it away.

"I don't kiss and tell. Whatever happened in the past is old news now. Whatever happens now happens." Chase smiled again and shook his head.

"You really want to do this." He said, looking at me.

"If you mean going to find a broom closet and snog you senseless and have a nice grope fest, then yes. I really want to do that." He snickered. For a moment he considered and then hopped off the chair and we sprinted out of the Great Hall, finding the closest cupboard.

We were lip locked in a second, not taking a damn thing slowly. I lost my jacket and shirt, and Chase's hands roamed wherever they pleased. As did mine...and oh man did he enjoy it. It was hard to even think about consequences in this situation, but as long as we weren't having sex then I didn't think at all. Chase was probably going to be good to have around. What with this bet with Lily, I could not see a possible Sirius and me relationship happening any time soon.

I could be all sexually-depressed but then again I have Chase Werth.

Lily didn't ask me about what I did later. She was too busy fixing herself after her 'meeting' with Ryan. I, on the other hand, was cleaning out my trunk. You'd be surprised to found out what gathers in there after a month in school.

And I also found Sirius' black book. It's like he never stops speaking to me.

I had nothing to do tonight anyway. Chase offered for me to tag along, just like old times, for a smoke, beer, and some hooking-up in his dorm. I politely said no thanks, maybe some other time, and walked away.

I flipped through a couple of pages and stopped after Jennie Gaden.

Name: Melissa Hart

Year: Fourth Year [Second time]

Rate: 3

Notes: A lot better than my first. Not so innocent, which is a major turn on. Kind of vicious and a little too much. Said she 'loved' me and beared her soul to me afterwards and wanted to cuddle. I dumped her the next day and found out I took her cherry.

Brutal. Just Brutal. I tried to not judge Sirius threw this, but every time I read another 'sex-cape', it gets a little harder (excuse me?) and awkward to read about his thoughts.

Like any normal teenager, I flipped to the last story.

Name: Sandra Werth (It has been a while since he's done the deed.)

Year: Sixth Year

Rate: 8

Notes: Best I had thus far. Does everything and even does role-playing, which is my personal favorite. She's a little clingy and expects a lot out of me.

I thought this was the end of the book, and had the intention of going back maybe reading the rest. But his elegant scrawl was written on the last page of this book and the writing made my heart stop. Literally.

Katrina,

I never actually thought about what I was writing down in these entries. They were my thoughts at the time and I have no regrets. It had taken a lot of strength to give this to you because as stupid and shallow as this book might seem, it's really personal.

Watching you this year, with everything you've struggled with, made me realize how much you mean to me. I figured this way you would know.

You don't have to respond. Having you know is enough for me.

Sirius

Funny, I did know how to respond.

Hastily I opened my journal and wrote something really fast, but something that said a lot.

"Lily." I called after her. She popped her head out of the bathroom. "I'll be right back."

"Okay," was all she said.

I ran down the dormitory stairs and ran up to the boy's dormitory. It was as silent as the grave except-

"What are you doing here?" That all too sexy voice asked me. I turned to see his worried expression.

"This is for you." I handed him my journal. He looked at me quizzically.

"What's this for?" He asked opening it. I closed it shut, with my hands on top of his. The close proximity was making the butterflies in my stomach do cartwheels.

"As if I would tell you. Read it. You'll find out." I winked and leaned it to kiss his neck. That's it. Just a peck. Nothing like those bruises Chase was bound to have.

I slowly took my hands from his and tried to back up from him but he gently grabbed my forearms so I could look at him. Sirius' eyes were blazing with a passion that could make any girls' knees just fall out. He leaned down, as if to kiss me, but I gently pushed away.

That was the hardest thing I've ever done.

"Wait." I said. One word. One word that could have been the death of me.

With a slight nod of understanding, Sirius let go and sat on his bed.

If I thought this semester was going to be long, now it was going to take forever.

* * *

If you are asking why my precious Katrina is with Chase again, I will tel you this: SHE IS A HORNY PERV! MAN! She's suffering from sexual withdrawal...not like she has actually had any...but any way, I am going to drop a huge bomb on you in the next chapter.

Here is just a hint: it's going to all lovey-dovey, mushy-mushy, vomit-ey love material.

Lovelovelove,

Megg


	16. Uhhuh,THAT'S What I'm Talking Bout!

Things that makes me happy: reading Harry Potter, stalking Robert Pattinson, getting reviews, and having an extremely awesome and timely beta.

GUESS WHAT?: I am having an awesome day!

* * *

There were many things I learned while reading Sirius' little book.

One is that he never rates any one a ten. Never. The highest was an eight, and that was Sandra Werth. The lowest...well that was a negative two, but a lot of girls got that or a one. Sirius was hard to please. What a loaded statement...

Another is that he usually doesn't associate with the girls afterwards. Yes, he is a womanizing ass, but I'm not judging. Nope. I refuse to judge.

Okay, so I am judging but it's a little hard not to when you see these girls in the corridors, sighing away after he. Even Amelia Burke, who he was ruthless with, still looks longingly after him. It's pathetic! They're pathetic! I'm pathetic!

As for my journal, I tried not think about it. There were a lot of things I did not want him to read. Like, for instance, that undying need and pull towards him. That lustful state of mind I enter when I'm around him...these are the things that make me want to go and steal my journal back from him. I was convinced that my journal was more personal than his black book.

Oh Jesus.

Time was agonizingly slow. I mean agonizingly. And Sirius is no help. NONE. He never lets on that he reads my journal, and whenever we are in the classroom, he just talks about the subject. That's it. THE SUBJECT! THAT COULD MAKE ANY GIRL CRAZY!

Valentine's Day passed in a flash. Sirius and I had a mutual agreement that our books were enough and we needn't exchange silly gifts. Although he did get many chocolate hearts, he paid no mind.

I did see him reading my journal once in early March. The common room was flooded with students after the Quidditch game. Sirius was perched in a corner, with my green snakeskin book, reading intently. Many girls just fell even more watching him read in public. I, on the other hand, made my escape and sat nervously on my bed.

Okay, so I worry too much. Agreeably, his material is a lot worse and vulgar than mine, but my material is a little more from the heart. His was from the...well...you know.

March brought early sunshine, and some warmth. Sunday afternoons were spent sunbathing by the lake, reading his black book. Who ever knew he had that many conquests...

Sometimes the books turned into a story. As I got deeper and deeper, the stories became a little longer, more detailed, and complex. Soon, I was wrapped up in the book, and spent all my class time reading it.

I even read it during Potions. Sirius looked at me, and I could feel his nervousness. It was so palpable that it somewhat relaxed me when he read mine...right next to me in Potions.

And... I am going to admit this once and for all. I might never repeat it again because this might not turn out too good.

I think I am falling in love with Sirius Black.

* * *

At the end of March, the temperature rose and I found myself finished with his book. I idled by the Lake, skimming my feet on its surface. Lily was near me, staring into the water.

We were depressed. I didn't need Lily to see that one.

I was soon realizing how stupid that bet was, and I wanted to call it off. How would Lily read my journal if I didn't have it? But I stopped. Maybe this separation is for the better...

OMG! When did I get all sappy? Huh? This sounds like some bad relationship book, that makes you want to vomit! OMG! I sound like my favorite vampire series! What is wrong with me! Do you know what I need? Do you?

If you guessed Chase Werth, than you are oh so right. Oh so. Oh....so....

Oh. I felt a little dizzy at that moment.

MAN! I can't even do that without thinking about Sirius! This bet needs to end! RIGHT NOW! NOW! OMG LIKE IT SHOULD BE ENDED BY NOW!

"Lily, I am going insane!" I shouted all of sudden, perhaps surprising her.

"So am I!" She screamed back at me. We looked at each other.

"It's over!" We screeched at the same time. Lily ran a hand through her red hair and laughed excitedly. Giggling, we sprinted up the castle, to the Gryffindor tower.

"You know," She said as we ran. "This could be a moment of weakness. We could be giving into a selfish desire that could subside if we just-"

"SELFISH DESIRE MY ASS!" We laughed, nearly out of oxygen.

Then we were in front of the Fat Lady.

"Pumpkin Fritels." I panted, leaning on my knee. She nodded and we entered. Since it was a warm Saturday afternoon, everyone was out and the common room was deserted.

"Check upstairs." She said. She was the first one up the stairs and in the dormitory.

Surprisingly, the Marauders were in their room. They sat in a little circle, with papers around them, talking animatedly. Sirius and James looked like they were arguing over something, and Remus was explaining something to Peter. That could only mean one thing: Their big April Fool's joke.

Before I knew what was even happening, Lily brushed passed and practically jumped in James's lap and snogged the life out of him. Like a good little boy, he responded just as ferociously.

Everyone was looking at them, shocked out of their minds. I think ten minutes passed before someone asked for an explanation.

"Lily and I agreed that we should call off the bet. As you can tell." I felt my heart soar as Sirius looked at me. Not wanting an audience, I nodded towards the bathroom. He got up and I grabbed his hand and locked the door behind us.

His arm went around my waist and our lips met in a perfect bliss.

This was the moment. This was it. It was so amaz-

"Katrina! Sweetie, wake up!"

You have got to be kidding me.

Fuck.

"Kat? You okay? Do you want to go in?" Lily asked. I didn't need to open my eyes to know that it was all a dream.

I mumbled something incoherent to Lily.

"What?" She asked, patting my forward and stroking my hair.

"I think I love him."

That didn't need an explanation. She just knew who I was talking about and all of a sudden the stroking stopped.

I was too delirious to actually care.

"Kat." She groaned. I peeked through my eyes and saw her sigh.

"What Lily?" I asked her, pushing up from her lap.

"It's stupid. I don't even understand where you think you could be more than just friends with him. He'll hurt you, like he does to everyone else. This is Sirius Black, and although you are the most gorgeous girl in the world, you can't change Sirius Black. No one can. Sure, if you want a one night stand, he'll be the one to go to, but you're not like that either." She looked at me, clearly upset. I didn't say anything because these were the things I thought about a million times. "Kat, I really think you need to find someone good. Like Ryan."

"You want me to get with your hook up?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. She snickered.

"No. I just want you to find someone like Ryan. Someone is kind, sweet, and smart, but can still hold your sexual needs at the same time."

Sounds like Sirius to me. Minus the kind and sweet.

"Lily, I don't want the nice guy. I want someone who I know will corrupt me just by looking at him. I want someone to make me feel innocent compared to him. I want a bad boy. I want Sirius." I looked her. She sighed.

"There has to be someone in Hogwarts you can get with."

"There is no one like Sirius except Sirius."

"You sound like a love sick puppy."

"In case you didn't hear me before, I am a love sick puppy. Or cat. Whatever. Look, hooking up with someone else besides Sirius is just not a good idea. All I can see when I am with someone is Sirius. Trust me. I can't even get it on with Chase without him resembling Sirius." Lily looked at me, and cocked her.

"You know, it's funny you say that because I did hear a little birdie say that you two were in the closet a while ago. I heard you were in there two hours." She said, looking at me. "How can you possibly snog for two hours?"

"First, it was three hours. And second, I'm not just snogging, Lils." She gaped at me.

"You had sex? You lost your flower and didn't even tell me? What the fuck? Does the term best friend mean nothing to you?"

"I did not have sex! God!"

"Then what do you do for three hours?"

"KISS!"

"You cannot kiss for three fucking hours!"

"Lily, I think I corrupted you! You're cursing all the time now!"

"Don't change the subject, Kat. What did you do? Did you smoke?" I sighed.

"Lily, I didn't smoke while sucking his face off." Her jaw dropped.

"Did you suck his-"

"OH MY MERLIN NO!"

"I'm at lost for words here, Kat. I think you are the only person who can attain Chase's attention for three hours without sex."

"Let's stop talking about this please. I'm sexually deprived and you don't want me all excited about something I can't have. I might even go back to Regulus."

"You are not that desperate." She said, laughing.

"Damn straight."

"Come with me." She said, grabbing my arm.

"Where we going?" I asked.

"Alright, it's Saturday afternoon. Lunch is ending in an hour. That means all the partiers, or 'bad boys' as you referenced, will be in the Great Hall." I giggled. I told you that she isn't innocent.

"Let's see..." She scanned the Hall, and scooted into a seat at the end of the Gryffindor table.

"What about Erik?" She asked, pointing to the punk-rocker at Hufflepuff.

"Too skinny." I said.

"Shane?" The green-eyed Ravenclaw was sitting amongst his friends. He had light brown hair and some zits.

"Not bad boy at all."

"Mark?" Mark was a seventh year Ravenclaw whose first and only love was cocaine.

"Drug addict."

"Okay. What about Salmon?"

"DUDE! He was named after a fish. I couldn't even hook up with him because I might think of fish."

"Katrina, you are so shallow."

"Dude, if I am gonna hook up with someone, they better be Jesus or Satan. I'm not getting no one less."

"You have weird theological ethics."

"Shut up and point out someone else."

She snickered and scanned the Hall. The Marauders were not there. I had an inkling that they might be in their dormitory, planning a prank.

"Okay. Mike from Gryffindor." She pointed to the seventh year. He was okay, with a crew cut and hazel eyes.

"I can't even get turned on around him. He's so serious." I whispered.

"They only person who is considerably bad in this Hall is Lucius Malfoy and I am not even pointing him out."

Stop right there!

I looked at the pale blonde haired boy and sighed. God, he was gorgeous. He had ice for eyes, and an attitude that makes him that more unattainable. He has some build, and he speaks so proper. Every girl he has ever been with has been satisfied.

"We have a winner." I said, leaning back some.

"No, Kat, don't!" She said, while I stood up and walked over to the Slytherin table. He was not alone. But I had a plan.

"Lucius," I said firmly. He looked up and I felt my heart melt.

Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous. And he is bad. And he is sexually active. And he has nice hair.

Plus, he's the perfect rebound.

"Yes?" He said slowly, staring me in the eyes. Oh baby!

"Professor Slughorn asked me to send for you." I said, and walked off.

I planted the seed. Sitting down next to Lily, who looked at me confused.

Lucius walked out of the Hall.

"What just happened?" She asked grabbing a biscuit.

"Slughorn just asked me for Lucius." I answered, eating her biscuit.

"No he didn't," She replied, giving me a dirty look, and reaching for another biscuit.

"Oops." I said, smiling.

Lucius returned within five minutes. He looked for me with a frustrated expression.

"Slughorn didn't want to see me." He said, pronouncing each word repulsively.

"Oh. I'm so sorry. I guess I made a mistake.' I said, smiling teasingly.

"Heartfaw, what do you want?" Lucius said, not buying it one bit.

"You know my name? Wow I feel honored." I'm so good at keeping it level.

"Cut to the chase."

"Why does there have to be an ulterior motive? I made a mistake, okay?" I said as friendly as possible.

"Oh, because you mixed me up with some other blonde haired beauty?" I snorted. Conceited much? "If this is some kind of revenge plot against Regulus, you can stop right now." As serious as I could, I stood up and looked him in the eye.

I was actually pleased because this was going my way.

"Why would I want revenge against Regulus through you? That makes no sense. And besides, I got my revenge when I broke his noise and he squealed like a bitch." Lily stifled her laughter.

"Then why would you even bother me?" He asked, completely unfazed.

"Why wouldn't I bother you?" I asked. His eyes widened and he cocked his head.

"Oh." Finally. The cat has taken the bait! "I didn't even know you were interested." He said, lowering his voice and smiling slightly.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I said, placing my hand on his shoulder, stepping towards flirtatiously. "You're just my type."

"Look, I don't mean to burst your bubble, but I have an arranged marriage so-"

"I'm not looking for love or money. And so it's up front, I just want to hook up." He snickered.

"A girl who tells it like it is. I like it." He said. "So when do you want to meet?" It's my turn to smile.

"How about..." I looked up at him. "Now?" I said, grabbing his hand.

"Sure." Was his immediate response.

* * *

"LILY I AM GOING TO BECOME A NUN!" I bellowed at her from across the common room. Everybody turned and looked at me. "What? Don't act so surprised. Guys: LEARN HOW TO KISS PROPERLY!" Everyone was completely shocked at my outburst but I was too angry to care.

Lily looked mortified for me.

"Katrina. What the hell?" She hissed.

"I'll tell you what," I started not even lowering my voice. "We were in the broom closet, and he starting making out with me and I almost gagged, Lily! GAGGED! A Katrina Heartfaw first! OMG, I was even willing to suck his-"

"OMG, KATRINA LOWER YOUR VOICE!"

"But, he was too FUCKING innocent for my taste! No, actually that's a lie. Hell, he wanted me in his bed and I told him that I was busy tonight. God! Dude this is it. I am dropping out and becoming a nun. I'm going to pledge a second chance at chastity or something!"

"You have to actually lose your virginity to get that second chance, Kat." Lily whispered.

"Damn. I quit!" I yelled at her.

"Quit what?" She asked, puzzled.

"BOYS! I no longer swing for that team!" I looked at Lily and got down on one knee. "Will you be my girlfriend?" I asked, almost serious.

ALMOST.

"OMG, Kat. I'm so honored! Absolutely!"

"Okay no. I was joking." I pulled my hand back and stepped to the side, eyeing her dubiously. She laughed out loud.

"Katrina you could never quit guys."

"I just had an epiphany: Let's pretend to be girlfriend/girlfriend so we don't ever have to mate with boys again! No one will ever know!" I felt triumphant.

"The whole common room just heard you. Are you high?"

"Why does everyone ask me that? No Lils! I wish...omigod I should get with Chase! He could corrupt my innocence!" I said.

"I'M CALLING THIS DAMNED BET OFF!"

I stopped dead. Not every knew what we were talking about, just the boys in the corner who paid attention to my spiel.

"What, Lily?" I asked, stunned.

"I CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE! IT'S BEEN ALMOST TWO FRIGGEN MONTHS AND ALL YOU DO IS TALK ABOUT...EHH!" She said, not completely confident with saying the 's' word in public.

"What are you-"

"It's over. Just over. I'm calling it off with no consequences. It's just over."

Time stopped.

Okay not literally.

"Just slap me awake, please." I said. This was a dream, I know.

"This is real, Kat." Lily said, befuddled.

"No, it's not. Any moment, you're going to kiss... you know who...and then I'm going to proclaim my undying love for...you know who else. It happens like this all the time." I said. I breathed and pinched myself.

It so wasn't a dream.

I spun around and looked at Sirius, wide-eyed. He looked just as shocked as anything.

"Let's convene upstairs." She said grabbing my arm and nodding towards the boy's dorm. I felt someone place a hand on my back.

Soon, it was just Lily and I, with James and Sirius.

"You better be serious, Evans. James and I are very competitive." Sirius said, smiling down at her.

"I am and I will prove it." She leaned in and kissed James lightly on the cheek.

"WE WON!" I hollered grabbing Sirius' arm.

"Right. Now I think you two have some talking to do." Lily said, smirking. She tugged on James' collar and pushed him towards the door. "We'll just leave you two alone."

I heard them talking as they descended.

"I have to sleep in there tonight. With those two, they won't be done for ages."

"I'll pay you back." I couldn't see her face, but I knew she was very suggestive.

"Oh will you..." Their voices trailed off.

I was all alone in a room with Sirius. This was the moment where we kissed, and other things. This is where we talked about love and each other and our hardships.

But I felt possibly a little more nervous than I should be, and maybe a little scared.

"We have to talk," I said, stating the obvious. I sat on his trunk, while he scooted next to me.

"Look I-" I started but he cut me off.

"Let me start." He nodded at me and took a deep breath. "This year, all I wanted from you was another conquest." Brutal. "You're gorgeous. Hot. Sexy." I was quivering in my boots. "But it was soon just a little more. I mean it started before the ball. When I watched you with Regulus and all. When I found out, I went berserk. I kept trying to tell myself that it was because you were my friend and nothing else. I could barely contain that information when you confronted me in the bathroom. But I was selfish then."

"Why were you selfish? I was the one asking for some tips." I said.

"No. You don't understand. You were so real to me. So completely you, it was almost irresistible. You shared your fears with me and I didn't want anyone else with you. I was selfish. Then after the ball...I just about lost it. He left you, lying on the floor. And then afterwards, when Lily was done with you...I just couldn't believe my ears. The things I said to you, although harsh, were so true. Then when you were confronting Regulus, I finally thought I had you figured out. But you kept changing. What with Werth and the fast crowd, I was starting to second guess you. Then that night on the dance floor and in the compartment it was just clear to me: I wanted more than a simple hook-up. I wanted you." He smiled at me and stoked my hair. "The black book was supposed to show you that. It was supposed to show you that I wanted you to see into my soul."

Shit. Didn't I guess that?

"What about you?" He asked earnest for me to talk.

"I don't even know where to begin. I never thought of you other than a womanizing jerk. Sorry. But things started to change. Out of anger and spite, I started going with Chase. But you were always on my mind, if out of revenge or something else. I didn't want to read your book, but once we were finally separated, I realized just how much a part of my life you were. And reading your book...well I couldn't judge you. I saw your insincerities and saw your dominance. I saw you. Getting with Lucius couldn't even replace you." I stopped to breathe. "Giving you my journal was probably one of the surest things I've done. It was everything to me. And, as you've read, you have completely controlled me for the past year." I looked into those stormy eyes and smiled. "You don't know how long I've dreamt of you." He smiled back at me. "Every time I closed my eyes, I saw you. It was frustrating at first, but now I cannot see it another way."

There was a silence after this that held us at the edge of the world. I finally told him everything, and learned of his feelings. It was better than everything I imagined.

"Where do we go from here?" He asked, taking my hand.

"I...." I was speechless to say the least. My butterflies were swirling around, and I felt helpless in his presence.

It was the feeling I have been searching for in all those guys.

"Well, we both want to be boyfriend/girlfriend, right?" He asked slowly, looking in my eyes as if unsure.

"Yes," I said, resolute. He was silent and he pushed my hair back again.

Slowly, very slowly he moved in hesitant. He looked at my in the eyes and I felt my throat tighten from fear. Not the bad fear...but the good one.

"You want to-" He asked, leaning closer.

But I didn't let him finish the sentence. I didn't want him too. I didn't want guarantees or promises. I wanted to be in the moment with Sirius. I've waited for this for quite some time and I finally had it.

Time was altered when we first kissed. It was nothing like anyone I have ever been with, but so much more. With Regulus, it was all about regrets. With Chase, it was all about worries. Now it was just me and Sirius, in this perfect moment with nothing to regret because we both felt the same way.

I didn't want to take things slow at all. As a matter of fact I wanted him right there, and right now. I was pretty obvious about it too. The way I was stroking his chest and pulling off his shirt was just the beginning. I pulled him onto his bed and laid under him, completely at bliss with our kiss. It wasn't like he didn't want it...God the things his hands could do! I almost sure that my neck would look like a savage beast attacked it and my chest are going to have some hand prints.

I wanted him. I was sure. So very sure. I've been thinking about this non-stop for months now, and here was the prime opportunity.

"Sirius..." I gasped between kisses. He stopped and looked at me. He was so intense that it was making my feelings increase.

How do you ask somebody to do it with you?

"Katrina..." He said. I closed my eyes and breathed. Apparently that turns him on, because he latched himself on my neck again.

"I want you," I whispered to him. He stopped, and was completely motionless.

"Now?" He asked, placing his chin on my stomach. I nodded. he kissed my stomach, my chest, my neck, my lips, and forehead.

"Wait."

There was that damn word again.

But I knew, almost better than anyone, what was behind those words.

* * *

Not much I have to say or clear up except....

FINALLY.

Hope you enjoyed!

lovelovelove,  
Megg

* * *


	17. Some Sirius on Kat Time AhemCOUGHCOUGH

I was perched on the astronomy tower window, a cigarette dangling from my hand.

It was just a dream. Probably one of the most perfect, vivid, and most memorable dreams I would ever have. And I hated it.

Damn.

I took a long drag, and let the smoke sit in the back of my mouth, shutting my eyes, if only for a moment.

Damn Damn Damn!

Just why? Why?

I opened my eyes and looked around in the dark, circular room.

Alone, as usual.

Don't even mention the fact that it is three in the morning. That doesn't count.

Sighing, I dropped my cigarette and stamped it out. I made no rush heading back towards the common room, with the Fat Lady half-awake, half snoring. She wasn't pleased when I woke her up.

Get over it.

"Hey beautiful," came a velvet voice. I froze dead on.

For the many times I confused that voice, I knew it now.

Have I ever cherished it more!

"Where you been?" It rang again. God. Sweet Lord.

"It wasn't a dream?" I whispered, hoping to Merlin that it wasn't.

A soft chuckle came from the couch.

"No. It was much better." Sirius said. I walked over to the couch and sat down next to him, peering at his face.

His handsome, flawless face. God, that face couldn't be human. No, Sirius couldn't be human. He was perfect; the exact man every woman dreams of at night. The long, silky black hair. The stormy, grey eyes. Those soft (and I would know), perfect lips. His flawless skin.

It was almost unbearable.

For once, I just wanted a sneer or a smirk. Some form of cockiness to make him a little less attractive.

I smiled at him and leaned back, putting my feet on the coffee table.

"What are you doing up?" He asked again, entwining his hand in mine.

"Midnight smoke," I replied looking around the room.

"You still smoke?" He asked, pushing my hair back.

"Smoking is my best buddy. We like to keep each other company." I was waiting for the part where he said that I shouldn't smoke. That it was wrong and that I was smarter than that. I was hoping he'd say something along the lines of choosing smoking or him. Some form of arrogance.

But it didn't come. Instead, he shrugged and leaned back on the couch too. How odd. Why was I asking for some failure?

"You ever smoked?" I asked.

"Oh yeah. You forgot who I dated. Pot's good. Cigarettes are a little too much for my taste. Fire whiskey and mead are my vices." He said with a small smile on his lips.

"Drinking is great until you get drunk." I said.

"Because you do stupid things you would never do sober?" He asked.

"Nahh. The hangovers are real fuckers." I replied, laughing.

"Did you ever regret anything you did while drunk?" He asked outright.

"Well not entirely."

"What does that mean?" He asked, scrunching up his face.

"It means that although you don't want people to know the things you say when you're drunk, it's better once those things are out in the open. Like, say I have something I want to tell someone but it's personal. Being drunk not only releases that secret, but you don't give a damn while doing it. Sober people think and worry too much for any good. Drunken people are probably the most honest people out there." He laughed.

"You have some complicated, yet ironically true, way of thought." He smiled.

"What about you? Did you ever regret anything?" I asked him.

"After what you said? Shit. Hell no. Usually when I'm drunk, it's a lot easier to bed girls." I tried to hide my laughter.

That didn't work.

"What?" He asked puzzled.

"Okay so wait," I said, pulling my leg beneath me and leaning towards him. "You're telling me that you, Sirius Black, has trouble bedding girls?" I asked, a large grin forming on my face.

"Well it's the girls themselves. When I'm sober, you have to talk and talk and go on and on about shit I really don't care about. When you're both drunk, to hell with all of that. Who really gives a shit when you can't even remember what you said, let alone what you drank."

"Goddamn." I said.

"What?" He asked, looking at my face.

"We are some seriously fucked up people." We burst out laughing at this. When I started to catch my breath, Sirius smiled at me.

"What?" I asked him.

"Can you something? And will you promise to tell me the answer? The truth?" I don't like where this is heading...

Or maybe I do. I am that kind of sick, twisted person.

"What?" I said.

"Okay. How far have you ever gone?" He asked, a mischievous smile on his lips.

"Does this kind of talk turn you on?" I asked, clearly avoiding the subject.

"Maybe," he said his voice a little husky.

I smirked.

"You didn't answer my question." He reminded me.

"You tell me. How far did we go?"

"That's it? Man I thought that you..." he trailed off, not finishing the sentence.

Oh I was so going to play with him.

"No baby." He quirked an eyebrow. God that was so effing sexy. "I saved it all for you." The tips of his lips turned up again.

"Oh really? Wow I feel so honored. But I have to tell you," He said, while starting to pull me over to him. Oh sweet Jesus.

"Mmm-Hmm" I said, looking into those playful eyes.

"I really like to dominate people. It's just a thing."

I drew a slow breath.

"That's fucking sexy." His hot breath flew into my face as he laughed.

"Oh I'll give you sexy." He said, placing his lips on mine.

* * *

"Now take consideration that this is the last week of March. When April comes around, that means you only have two months left to exams. Not to mention your spring break takes out of that time."

There had to be one person who gave McGonagall her full, undivided attention: Lily.

Also, Lily was the only one who had a study sheet made out with things she had to go over.

I swear to God that if this exam turns out to be a replay of O.W.L's, I'm quitting school and never coming back.

You have no idea what Lily is like. I mean, yeah the O.W.L.'s were important and every fifth year was found in the library. But Lily? Lily could make textbooks with her notes.

I am not going through that again.

McGonagall ended class with her usual "don't forget to practice..." and I ran out.

It was my last class this Monday and I was glad for it. I didn't know how much I hated school until Mondays rolled around.

Luckily, I have Sirius.

You may ask, what does Sirius have to do with this?

My dearies, he is such a great kisser.

And I bet you are oh so jealous.

Walking down the corridors, I caught up to the said Marauder and tapped him on the shoulder.

He looked behind him, but I bounced the other way. His head turned, and I still went around him. Expertly, his hands grabbed me, and his head swung around and he smiled.

"Gotcha," Sirius said. I was never good at that game. He put his arm around my waist and walked with me to the common room. We didn't say much expect how our days went.

Fine. Just Fine.

The common was buzzing. The bulletin board announced that the last Hogsmeade trip before the Easter Holidays was this Saturday. There were also random bits about lost possessions and whatnot.

Hogsmeade. With Sirius.

That could be interesting. Looking around, I noticed Sirius disappeared momentarily.

I threw my books down besides the sofa and went to his dormitory. This is probably the only place he would go off too.

When I opened the door, he was sitting on his bed, with a piece of parchment in hand.

"Whatcha reading?" I asked and walked towards him. Hastily, he stuffed the paper in his nightstand.

"Nothing," He replied, smiling mischievously.

"Really?" I implied. I looked at the night stand and made a dive for it. But of course, Sirius caught me before I even had the chance.

"What is it?" I asked again, as he held me. I'll admit that i was giving a pretty good fight. Sirius was just a lot stronger than me.

And it was extremely hot. So hot.

"I told you nothing." Sirius said again, grabbing my waist and pulling me to him. His breath was hot on my neck.

Shivers...

Expertly, I turned around and kissed him with a lot of heat and passion. His response was what I wanted. Without notice, I begin to paw at the nightstand drawer. Silently I pulled the drawer open and felt around for a piece of paper.

Something warm touched my hand and Sirius broke the kiss, smiling.

"Nice Try," he said, still hovering next to me. "But you'll have to wait like everyone else until April Fools."

"Aw, damn. And here I thought it was a love letter to me. Wow I'm completely disappointed." He smirked.

"Did you want a love letter? I'll write you one. I can't guarantee you'll like it." Sirius smiled at me and kissed my forehead.

"Why won't I like it?" I asked a little too innocently.

"Because it might be too explicit." He replied, lounging on his bed.

Oh boy.

"Then I'll love it." I said, kneeling next to him on his bed, and pushing his hair back.

"Will you?" His hands found my hips and pulled me on top of him.

"Oh you bet." I said, and I kissed him again.

I could easily get used to this.

* * *

Shortest Chapter. I know. Shocker!

This is for all of you who live for some Kat/Sirius passion...or is it just me?

To Zoe: OMG! I FINALLY ADDRESSED YOU BY YOUR REAL NAME! (is that your real name?) Whateves. I thank you so sooo much for doing this for me! As always, you're my awesome beta!!!!!  
To my reviewers: I love you? Will you marry me? Is that too odd? Kidding people :]. I just found out RPattz (aka Robert Pattinson) left a bar with a pretyy girl :/. God...you'd think he'd tell me these things! And I flipped out on twitter!

lovelovelove,  
Megg


	18. Fallen Ultimatums

Special Thanks to my awesome Beta, Zoe...you're awesome! And thank you to my reviewers! You guys just make my day!

And don't kill me because I haven't updated in like a month...

;]

* * *

"Protego!" I said to block Lily's charm.

"Isn't this supposed to be silent spells?" She asked, all cocky. I scowled.

"You better watch it Evans, or I will put cockroaches in your pillow when I stay over your house."

"Hey, don't get all defensive here! I'm just trying to help. Exams are like next week." I stared at her.

"Lily..." I trailed off. "Exams are like in two months!"

"A month and a half!" I shook my head at her.

"At least you're not counting down like last year."

"There are not forty-six days left until our examinations." Lily said, smiling at my annoyance.

"Thanks for the reminder." I rolled my eyes and made a feeble attempt to try silencing her with my mind...

"It's easy to forget when the exams are coming when you spend every waking moment shacked up with Sirius."

How well that worked out. I dropped my hand and gaped at her.

"Am I detecting jealously?" I asked. Lily scoffed.

"Of what?"

"Of the fact that I have a playmate and you don't? Or the fact that he is taking away your best friend?" Lily laughed at me.

"I don't need a boy to complete me and you are still my best friend regardless of your sex-capes."

"For the last time, we haven't even done it yet." I tried to hide my obvious frustration about this.

"You being sexually frustrated never works out for anyone."

How well that worked out, too. Sirius and I have been dating for a while now, and I think this is the longest he has dated a girl without getting in her pants. And it's not even like I'm unwilling! I practically beg him for it! But he wants to wait...for what?! This should be against the law! I cannot be sexually frustrated! Even when we're really hot for each other, and I can tell, he just declines! At this rate, I'm going to die a virgin.

I hate my life.

"You're telling me." I grumble, instantly in a funk. I gazed over at Sirius and watched as he silently disarmed James. He caught my stare and winked at me.

"Kat, just be frank with him: I want to have sex with you." She said. I sighed and looked at her.

"Now don't you think I already tried that route? I never knew the many ways to ask someone to eff your brains out until I had to beg! Like literally, I was on my knees." She laughed at me.

"What else where you doing down there?" She waggled her eyebrows.

"He won't even let me do that." She laughed again.

"I commend you on this. Not many girls would tolerate his behavior."

"Shut up. I don't need to spend every waking moment contemplating my sexless life! Ugh!"

For the rest of class I disarmed Lily in every attempt. I was in a horrific mood, which couldn't be lightened even when Sirius waited for me outside of class. James was on the other side, talking with Lily.

"Hey babe," Sirius said, kissing my forehead.

Maybe if he kissed me on the lips, I would have smiled or something. But he was in virginal territory at the moment, so he wasn't thinking hot and heavy like I always do.

"Hey," I said back. By the quirk of his eyebrows, my attitude didn't go unnoticed.

I saw Lily flash a devious smile and winked at me.

"So Sirius," she began and I knew this would not turn out good. "How's your little Kitty in bed? We all want to know." I froze and stared at her.

'Bitch!' I mouthed to her.

"Uh, well..." He started and Lily giggled, clearly enjoying this.

"Don't tell me you're not taking care of her sexual needs?" She 'tsked' and shook her head. James was loving his lady talking dirty.

Sirius was speechless. She then looked at me.

"Kitty, just how big-"

"Before you even finish that statement, remember who you are spending your summer with and who has perpetual opportunity to ruin your life." I glared at her. James looked at me and frowned.

"Wait, what?" He asked me.

"James...really?" I honestly didn't think he was that stupid. "How did you not follow that?"

"No no...I mean, what are you talking about? I'm spending the summer at Lily's." He said.

I became still again.

"Now what are _you_ talking about? Don't you live in a wizarding community?" I asked.

"Yeah but I convinced my parents to rent out a house near Lily's, because she's near the beach...and because she has a pool." He grinned at Lily. "That way we can hang out all summer. I didn't know you lived with her."

"No, I just stay there over the summer."

"Well then we'll see you there." I knew exactly what he meant when he said we and I looked at Sirius and almost smiled.

I get to spend an entire summer with him.

Then I thought of the many failed attempts at bedding him...and knew this summer was going to be agony.

I groaned and stalked off without another word. Shouldn't I be excited that Sirius and I could spend our nights under the stars? Or that we could make out in the pool or on the beach? Perhaps we could steal away for a romantic dinner and then...what? It's not like he would invite me back to his place for some priceless fun.

That's a bit depressing.

Upstairs, in the dormitory, I put my books away and took a shower. When I got out and ready, I noticed dinner started in a half hour. Lily was sitting on her bed, innocently reading a book.

"Sirius said to meet him in his dormitory." She said to me.

"When were you going to tell me that they were spending the summer with us?" I asked.

"I just thought it would be a nice surprise. Sorry, Kat." I shrugged it off and walked out to the boy's dormitory. The common room was crowded, as it always is before dinner. I climbed the stairs slowly and knocked on the door.

"Come in," Sirius said. He was the only one in the room when I came in. I smiled...or attempted to at least.

"What's up?" I asked him. He sighed.

"You tell me. You're the one all weirded out lately." Sirius looked at me as I sat next to him on the bed.

"Nothing," I said to him. What was I supposed to say? He already knew how unhappy I was. He put his hand on my knee and squeezed it.

"You sure that you're not pushing it, Sirius?" I blurted out. He gritted his teeth and almost growled at me.

"Katrina, please."

"Why did you even ask when you know what's wrong?" I stood up and looked up at him.

"How many times are we going to go over this?" I made up my mind as soon as he said that.

"Well at least you know this is the last time." He stared at me. "I just...although it seems like I'm breaking up with you because you won't have sex with me, that's not the reason. We fight over this territory all the time. It's not like we can overcome it because I'm never going to stop this unstable lust I have for you. I'm tired of always being depressed and in a funk over this and I think the best way to solve the problem is to remove it. I can't even focus anymore without thinking about you."

"And breaking up with me is going to stop this how?" Sirius asked, clearly pissed off.

"I don't know! At least I won't be fighting every two seconds over fucking my brains out! It's not worth it at all!"

"Katrina, don't you get that I want to wait?" He said to me, pleading.

"I get that and I respect that. But wait for what, Sirius? What?"

"The right time! I care too much about you to just do it like I did to the other girls! Why do you have to make this so difficult?" He shouted at me, frustrated by my complete lack of emotion.

"I'm making this simple now. I just cannot be with you right now. Maybe over the summer or something, but right now I need to focus and not be depressed." He gave me a pained look. I looked at him for a long time, wondering if maybe he would just scoop me up in his arms right then and there.

But that moment didn't come and I departed. The Marauders were waiting for Sirius in the common room.

"Hey, Kat!" Remus waved at me. I waved back and made my way over to the girl's dormitory.

"Been busy with Sirius? Getting a little frisky?"

"I wish," I mumbled. Sirius was right behind me when I said that. He looked at me. "Hey, I didn't say I didn't want you." Sirius looked taken aback by that and I continued to the girl's dormitory.

"Lily said to meet her down in the Great Hall. Come on, guys." Remus said, not realizing the distance between Sirius and I. But James did.

"What's wrong?" He asked, standing up and walking over towards us.

I ignored him and everyone else and went upstairs and collapsed on my pillow. I was completely dead to the world for that whole weekend, not even leaving for meals. Lily tried to get me to come down, or explain what happened to her, but I refused to talk. She did bring me some food, but I was reluctant to eat.

I just wanted to absorb myself in my own self pity.

When classes resumed on Monday, I didn't even look in _his_ direction, let alone speak _his_ name in my mind. I refused to think about _him_ and worked hard on my work. I thought that I could actually get along without _him_.

My ultimatum proved false when I had double Potions with him on Wednesday.

Double Potions equals double the torture time.

For the first five minutes, I didn't look at _him_. I just started the fire and silently added the ingredients as _he_ gave them to me.

Then, from out of nowhere, I remembered every single intimate moment I've ever had with _him_ and I nearly dropped the vial of goat's blood. It was with great difficulty that I didn't even look at _him_, although I had the most intense urge that snog _him_ into the next oblivion.

"Can you even look at me?" _He_ whispered to me. _He_ was standing so close, and _his_ hair was touching my face. I longed to put my hand through that hair. OMG SHUT UP HEARTFAW! YOU CANNOT HAVE THESE URGES! GRR!

"No," I said, gripping the desk as I waited for _him_ to chop up the liver. My breathing became difficult and I became a little antsy as _he_ stared at me. I knew _he_ was because _his_ hand stopped moving. What are you looking at man? Jesus HM Christ JUST CHOP UP THAT LIVER!

"Why?" _He_ asked aggravated. I exhaled a breath slowly.

"Because." I said. Oh no. We are not going there. There was a nice little image of _him _and me making out on the teacher's desk on the fourth floor. That was a good time. My legs became jelly as I remembered. I've never hated myself more than I do now...

"Because why?" I noticed a faint hint of amusement in _his_ tone.

That did it. I completely lost my self control...Well most of it. I gazed into those stormy grey eyes and smiled oh so seductively. I wanted _him_ and I was going to make _him_ want me!

"Because I just want to throw you on this table and do things to you that I don't even think are legal." There you go, Kat! You are a prowleress! Whatever that means!

Sirius smiled back at me.

"There's my little Kitty."

"When can I be your tiger?" I asked him. For some odd reason, I had no qualms about this discussion now that we were broken up. Eff me...please gawd I am begging you!

"Hmm...I don't know." He said to me.

"I have a sick imagination, you know. Right now, we are in a closet snogging ruthlessly... As are your hands. And you want me to blow you. So bad." He looked at me out of the corner of his eyes and I saw pure lust forming. I emptied the liver into the cauldron and watched him as he cut up some more. I moved close to him and touched his arm. He was practically shaking from his excitement...I could barely control my hand movements.

"Are you going to?" He asked. I smiled radiantly at him. YES I SO GOT YOU! GIVE IT UP NOW!

"I'm doing it right now. You're saying something along the lines of...'this is the best ever?'" His hand stops and he closed his eyes. I enjoyed this reaction out of him...if only he was like this when we were dating.

"And now?" He asked me, opening his eyes to look to me. Lust, lust, lust.

"Well now, you're tearing off my clothes with inhuman strength. And I think you can guess what happens next." I said.

"I can but I want you to tell me, in vivid detail." His voice was all husky, and his muscles were tightening.

"Why would I do that? I'm saving it for when we actually do it." I winked at him and took the liver from him, poured into the cauldron, and moved away from him. As I stirred, he packed the supplies away. Then he came close, as if to check on the potion, but not quite.

"We had fun, right?" He whispered to me. I nodded at him and looked into those eyes again. YES, BABY, YES!

Aw, shit. My ultimatum totally dissolved and I was completely helpless in his hands.

He could so see that and he took advantage of it. I could feel his lips on my ear as he whispered to me.

"Come back to me and I'll show you what you've been waiting for."

FUCKING A!

OMG!

I LOVE YOU, GOD!

YESSIR!

UH-HUH!

I think my stomach dropped, and I had a heart attack. Or maybe I swallowed something hot because my stomach was doing back flips! I actually liked this feeling of complete helpless right now...it was hot and it turned him on.

I gazed up at him threw my eyelashes with the look that drives him crazy. We were so close to each other that I could practically feel his heart beating...or was that mine?

"Say yes?" He asked me and I could see how his resolved crumbled too. He meant it. He wanted to.

Omg, I loved the images forming in my head. I am one seriously perverted little Kitten.

"Hell yes." I said slowly to him. His eyes practically smouldered me. He almost forgot he was in a classroom....almost.

God, if he is like this now, I'm pretty sure I'll be begging for mercy later. Oh yes. Oh oh. Oh.

"I want to renact that daydream of yours." He smiled at me. Yes, God, YES.

"Anything you want. I am at your mercy to do as you please." Please? Omg I'm seriously asking for it.

Of course, that got a reaction out of him. I can honestly say I was surprised because Sirius actually has good self control.

"I want you in my bed...now." He really couldn't help himself and I was dying in ecstasy.

I groaned.

"I hate school." I said to him.

"I hear that waiting makes everything so much better...and I have a lot to teach you." He smirked at me.

"Oh yes you do, Professor Black." I put on my innocent face and tilted my head. His hot breath flew into my face....Mmm minty.

"When does this class end?" He looked at the clock and grinned at me.

"You have exactly five minutes left until I attack you mercilessly...any last words?" He asked, pulling on his backpack and mine, grabbing my hand and heading for the que to the door.

"I'm so going to enjoy this." I laughed giddily and couldn't stop smiling. I FINALLY GOT SIRIUS BLACK!

"No more than me, baby." He whispered to me. Oh my Lord.

Two more minutes.

Just don't think about it, Kat. Don't think about it. We can't have a scared kitty when it comes time to face the music.

One minute.

You are not thinking about it. YOU ARE NOT! DON'T, DON'T, DON'T-

BRRRING!

OMG WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ABOUT TO DO?

Sirius tore out of there before anyone else realized that the bell actually rung. I looked at Lily and gave her a helpless look. She and James just watched us run down the corridor and up the stairs. We were in the common room within minutes, and in his dormitory.

His lips found me in a rush and he slammed me against the door, and locked it. He was the expert here as he removed my hair from the ponytail, and started to remove my cloak. I tore his off in record time and unbuttoned his shirt all at once.

"Wow," He breathed, pressing against me. I took his shirt off and helped him lift mine off. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him...

Jesus God in heaven.

Sirius practically threw me on his bed. He kept kissing me with intense passion. His fingers grazed my stomach and caught hold of my skirt. He was undoing it and I realized that this was it...the moment I've been pining for since I first started dating him....He unbuttoned the top button and his fingers fumbled for the zipper. The skirt was just about to come off when-

"SIRIUS LET'S GO!" James threw open the door and pounced in. Instinctively, I grabbed Sirius' shirt and held it in front of my chest. What the-

"-FUCK JAMES! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY?" He gestured towards me. James didn't even take any notice.

I tried to be pissed off but I wasn't. Oh God. Lily had to be behind this.

"WE WERE SUPPOSED TO PRANK THE SLYTHERINS RIGHT AFTER POTIONS AND YOU BAILED! GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED AND LET'S GO! YOU CAN SCREW AROUND LATER!" James threw a shirt at him and waited for him to get dressed.

"James I've never hated you more than I do now." Sirius said, completely pissed off.

"Whatever." James stole a glance at me and winked. GOD! Lily was in on this! Oh man.

Sirius stood up and ushered James out of the room. He turned around and kneeled in front of me.

"Not our time or place, babe." He said, sending shivers down my spine. He kissed me again with passion and peered into my face. "I'll be back later for some more fun." He stood up and left me.

God!

Now I really REALLY couldn't get him off of my mind!

* * *

I don't think I've ever italized a chapter more...  
Yep...good chapter....yepyepyep


	19. What can I say?

She seems dressed in all the rings  
Of past fatalities  
So fragile yet so devious  
She continues to see it  
Climatic hands that press  
Her temples and my chest  
Enter the night that she came home  
Forever

~~~Vermillion by Slipknot

* * *

"Lily." I said slowly, looking at her. She was frazzled, with her hair messed up, her eye make-up smeared, and her clothes were a little wrinkly. She looked tired too.

"Lilykins?" I asked softly, creeping over to her and looking at the mess of papers around her.

"What?" She snapped, looking at me through blood-shot eyes.

It's exams time, ladies and gentleman, and Lily Evans had just officially lost it.

"It's time to go to Charms." I said slowly enough for her.

"No, it's not. I haven't finished studying for my exam!" She breathed heavily and put her hand on her heart.

"Lily, exams are in four weeks! Give it a break! I'm talking about charms class!" I huffed and grabbed her arm, yanking her towards the door. She resisted at first, trying to grab all of her notes.

"OMG LET'S GO!" I yanked so hard that she toppled over me, knocking us both to the ground. "Oww..." I groaned trying to get her off of me. Lily might be small, but having someone on top of you after lunch never really goes well.

"Sorry" She mumbled-yawned. Eventually we untangled ourselves enough to get out the door and down the stairs. Nonetheless, we were still sifting through our books as the Marauders waited for us.

"My Lilykins!" James yelled, beaming at her.

"Potter," she growled.

Finally!

The universe was restored to its natural self. Natural as in James being stalker-crazy in love with Lily and Lily hating him verbally and predicting the end of the world.

Now all we need was some sexist comment from Sirius-

"Nice boots, Kitty. How good do you think they look while you're in your birthday suit?" He smiled at me.

Now it's time for me to snip back at him flirtatiously.

"Not as great as they look up your arse, my precious." I smiled back at him.

"Nice one." He said, snickering. Then he put his arm around me and walked out with me.

Yep, natural self.

Now off to Flitwick's class!

Wait...

"Come with me," Sirius said, picking up his pace, and turning off into a deserted corridor, completely out of the way from Flitwick's class.

Now hold on just a moment, Mr. Sexy...

"We'll just be a tad late."

We ended up in a broom closet, making out even after the bell rang. I think this was part of Sirius showing me just how into me he was without actually...um...getting...into me, per say. Even after we made up, I could see him toeing the line between giving in and not giving in, which wasn't as annoying as before because he was keeping me occupied with kissing, kissing, and even more kissing. Some of it was light, and playful. Some of it was random yet fun, like today. And there were the intense, I Need You So Much kissing that made toeing that line so hard for Sirius, and still he kept his ground.

I'll give him credit: he's doing a great job at keeping me occupied and surprised, but I'll get bored soon. Very soon. We have a whole summer ahead and he can't keep playing these games.

"Mmm..." Sirius moaned, sliding his hands under my shirt.

Okay, well for right now I am temporarily distracted.

Sirius was partly right: we were late. But a tad was pushing it.

"Mr. Black and Ms. Heartfaw! What took you so long to get to class?" Flitwick asked us when we finally arrived.

"I dropped my books." I replied lamely. Professor Flitwick scoffed at me. Maybe it was my dishevelled hair, rumpled skirt, or untucked shirt, but I have a feeling that he wasn't buying it.

"And it took you half an hour to pick them up? Preposterous!" He exclaimed.

"Well it was all the way from the seventh floor to the dungeons...on a trick staircase...and I tripped too. That's why it took me sooo long." I tried my best to sell this story. I really tried.

Honestly.

I could not help the slow grin forming on my face.

"Detention, the both of you, tonight. My office at 8 o'clock." He smiled primly and moved along to the other students, who were practicing charms.

"I guess we should just hang back and wait until class is over. Can't jump in now." Sirius slid off his bag and sat down in an abandoned desk. I pulled a chair close to him, and placed my hand on his knee. Sirius smiled at me and inched his hand over mine and slowly up my arm.

"So what are you doing after detention tonight?" I asked Sirius. I giggled as his hand traced circles slowly on my forearm.

"I'm hanging out with a beautiful woman." He said slyly, pulling both of my legs on top of his.

"Oh really? I'm jealous." I looked around the classroom and saw Lily working with James. Smiling. Laughing. Okay, so maybe the universe was not back to normal.

"Yea I was kind of hoping she would say yes to taking a walk around the grounds, making out in the rose garden, and getting a late night snack in the kitchens. Do you think she would say yes?" Sirius looked me in the eyes and slowly smiled. It was one of those looks that said more than words ever could. It was one of his intense, enjoyable looks. With his grey eyes, he could pull any look off.

"Well if I were her, I would say yes. That sounds like fun."

"Good."

I watched Lily as she charmed James...no literally. The effortless way of her that made James so crazy about her. Would he ever say no to her? How could he? He's been craving her since third year, when the boy's hormones really started to kick in.

Wow. Was it really only three years ago when I was sitting in this very classroom, hating the man my legs were propped on?

I looked over at Lily and remembered how she swore up and down that no, she did not like Potter. She detested him. He's foul. Right, Sev? She would say, nodding to Snape who always sat on her right side. Of course, he would agree and mumble something about how arrogant he was, looking at Lily, grinning broadly. Yet mumble he did not, because there was always a duel between Potter and Snape. In fact, it was a weird day when they didn't duel.

I could remember when Severus thought Remus was a werewolf. He thought it was weird that 'Potter and his gang' always snuck out every full moon. 'Something's not right about them.' He was right. Remus was a werewolf and Sirius, James, and Peter were trying to turn animagi.

But hate was a strong word. Yet when it came to the old Sirius Black, it was the only word that popped into my head. I was paranoid that he was stealing one of best friends. And he always made some kind of smart remark that made me rant and rage. I would always lose my cool, just like Lily did whenever James called her Lily Flower. In fact, for the longest of times, I was completely obsessed with Sirius. But not in that lustful way that the majority of the female population was.

No. In fact, I could clearly remember following him out of the castle once just to see what he was doing. I thought that if I caught him doing something illegal, he would get into major trouble. But I only ever caught him playing tonsil hockey with some blonde bimbo. Back then, they were always blonde.

Heck they still are. Look me...your personal, blonde bimbo! Minus the bimbo part...maybe that is a little degrading.

But now it's all different. Sirius and I are always together, nearly inseparable. Lily has shown that she can actually talk to James without raising her voice. My feelings for Remus are completely clear: we're just friends.

This walk down memory lane showed me just how much has changed in the past year. After O.W.L's, I was making out with Ryan Shafield. This year I made out with...well...Regulus, Chase, Lucius, Remus, and Sirius. Basically the 'players' of Hogwarts. Call me a whore... go ahead. See if I care.

Okay... I care. But really... I'm sixteen! I'm not some innocent, naive fifteen year old shacking up with a seventeen year old to show off. No those days were way over....mostly because I got the best meat (cough) in school! The Strip Steak! Sirius Black!

I like steak.

A lot.

It's my favorite meat.

Mmm... I want steak.

And not in that way, you perverse person.

...perverse?

"Why are we even in class? This is a complete waste. Let's get out of here. How much more trouble can we get in? Another detention?" I looked at Sirius and grinned. Stealthily, we stood up and snuck out the door.

As it turns out, we could get in way worse trouble than just detention.

* * *

Giggling down corridors loudly, especially in the dungeons, is never a good idea. Kissing and walking at the same time is something you should try, but not do often. Forgetting that you have enemies is something extremely stupid, yet that is exactly what I did.

Yes, we were giggling. Yes, we stopped every two seconds to make out. And yes, there were people down in the dungeons.

"Fancy this, gentlemen, Sirius Black and Katrina Heartfaw has graced us with their presence!" I knew her voice. I remembered it from the day I broke someone's nose. The 'gentlemen' she spoke of roared and clapped dramatically. Sirius looked at my face, not daring to turn around.

"But come now, Sirius, you must tell us everything." I was honestly not stupid enough to take on all these people as once.

"Bellatrix." Sirius said. I bit my lip and looked down. We were in some serious trouble.

"Yes, yes! And Regulus is here too! He wants to know how you and Katrina have been!" I could still feel Sirius' eyes on me, but I found a particular interest in his shoelaces at the moment. "Don't be lame, you two, tell us!" Bellatrix closed in on us, going so far as to place her arm around me and pulling me away from Sirius. But that didn't fly with him.

"Hands off of her." He said, pulling out his wand. Bellatrix just cackled, not even bothering to pull out hers.

"You did your job, now you can go." I was too stunned to speak. Yet Sirius rambled away.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" He yelled, lowering his wand a little.

"Don't be bashful, Sirius, stand up for yourself! We needed Katrina and you delivered her." It was my turn to speak.

"Do you actually think I would believe you? Of all people?" Bellatrix tightened her grip on me and stared.

"But Katrina... you were late for Charms, and well... you're never late for class." Yeah, true.

"And you left class early...rule breaking isn't really your thing, is it?" I was beyond angry at this point. I shoved her away roughly and took out my wand. Not a smart thing to do when about ten wands were pointing back at you.

"For your information, Bella, you're talking to the girl who used to sneak out of the Castle, undetected I may add, every Friday night to get high. Now, I'm no Professor, but that sounds as though I broke some rules there."

"Shut your trap, blood traitor." I scoffed at her.

"You never cease to amuse me with your silly ways. I mean honestly, how stupid do I look? You're trying to turn me on my boyfriend? And yet I was the one who suggested to leave the class early in the first place!" I really thought I had her.

"You were still late, and why? Because you went snogging in the broom cupboard, across from the abandoned classroom on the fourth floor?" That was oddly specific. "Odd, though, that you left class early, and go to the dungeons, of all the places, to make out? I'm not stupid but isn't this a prime opportunity to go and make out in Sirius' dormitory?" So? "Like you do every Tuesday after Charms class?" She added. Huh. "Not to mention, it is a little weird that you ended up down here when all of us were out of class. Don't you think a teacher would notice if all of us went missing?" Suck it up Kat, it's just a coincidence. But Bellatrix just strolled closer to me, and smiled hauntingly. "Isn't it odd that I know how much you want Sirius, and yet you have never told anyone, except him?" She moved closer to me. "How much you have been pining after him, wanting him all this time, and he was teasing you, pulling you in.... baiting you. Holding this over your head so you would stay."

"Wow." I choked out, but Sirius was way ahead of the game.

"Expelliarmus!" He shouted at her. As her wand flew out of her hand, she fell back onto the guys, lucky for us. We tore out of there faster than you see lightening. I didn't stop until we reached our common rooms.

In light of what just happened, I was hysterically in tears, barely breathing. Sirius tried to console me but I pushed him away.

"Don't even."

"You seriously believe her?" He asked incredulously.

"Oh come on, Sirius. She knew everything. EVERYTHING! That was oddly specific for someone I barely see once a week. And she knew exactly what I was feeling. EXACTLY! How the hell does she know, Sirius, if you are the only person who I share this with? And our sex life, or lack thereof I should say, is private and I never spilled the finer details to Lily, who is not likely to hang around Bellatrix unless she had a death wish!" I took a deep breath.

"You think I know? I haven't spoken to them since you dated Regulus! Why would I hang around them? I renounced that family last summer!"

"Wait... what?" Three words people: small attention span. He sighed and sat on the arm of the couch.

"My parents are very over-bearing. I'm sure you hear all these stories about the pureblood families, and you must think they are too stupid to be true, right?" He looked at me and I nodded. "But they are even worse than you can imagine. My brother, the ever present suck up, took on their ways. I didn't. When I became a Gryffindor, all hell broke loose. Then, last summer, I just had enough and ran out. I've been staying at James ever since, as you know." Yeah I did. I just never really thought about it. The silence that followed almost seemed too loud.

"Okay but the question is how do they know?" I looked at him.

"Kat, I only ever told the boys that you and I have our differences. I don't share the more private business of our relationship. Nonetheless, they would never talk to them." He was looking back at me. It was just too much.

How did they know so much about us?

* * *

"That's a little....uh...sexy, Kat." I held up a black, green, and pink plaid bra for Lily to see. We were at the clothing store in Hogsmeade, currently looking at bras. I smirked and kept it.

"How about this one?" A pink cheetah print with green lace made Lily a little squirmier. "Keeping this one too."

"Why are you even buying lingerie?" She looked at a red silk baby doll that reminded me of the time I dreamt of Sirius on the train. I grabbed that one too.

"Because..." I giggled at Lily's bewildered expression.

"No way. He's finally gonna give in?" She asked, clearly shocked. I smirked and shook my head, looking at a lace one piece that left little to the imagination.

"Nope, but I have a plan." Lily quirked an eyebrow. "So you know Sirius has very little self control. It is pretty hard for him to stop. It would be even harder to stop with me in this." I held up the lacy piece. Lily laughed. "I plan on teasing him within an inch of his life." I grabbed a black corset piece and headed up to the counter. I think I found enough sexiness for one shopping trip. As the lady rung us up, we kept talking.

"You don't have self control either, Kat." She looked at an object that resembled... uh... well Lily shuddered and looked the other way. I laughed.

"I realize that. But I want Sirius to realize that he doesn't have any either. Anyways, self knowledge is better than self control any day. I know how I react around Sirius." I handed the lady some cash and picked up the black bags labelled Tori's in elegant script. It's pretty obvious what I bought and that's what I was going for.

Down the street, in the Three Broomsticks, we met up with the Marauders. I hid my bag as I sat besides Sirius, hoping for some sexy comment later when he noticed, when we are all alone.

"Hey babe," he said over the noise and pecked me on the lips. Remus was talking animatedly with Peter, while James was sweet-talking Lily.

"So have you found out anything about... you know?" We figured that keeping the incident with the Slytherins a secret was the best solution. I didn't want anyone to know what happened until we actually knew what happened.

"So far, nothing. I've been keeping an eye out, and not really talking about you but... nothing." He shrugged, letting me he wanted to get off the topic. Sirius took a sip of butter beer, and put his arm around me, listening in on Remus' conversation.

I faltered. Did he not care? Or worst... was he losing interest? I looked at Lily, but she was still talking to James. So I sat there, wallowing in self pity, wondering when I could get Sirius alone, when I saw his look-a-like out of the corner of my eye: Regulus. He looked pretty suspicious, leaning across the table, talking to Bellatrix and Narcissa, who looked at him intently. A piece of paper was exchanged and they both looked at each other, shock clearly in their faces.

I snuck out of the both I was in and sat next to an empty one, two seats behind them. I pulled a random menu out and muttered '_appearisk_'. It was a spell Severus and I made up, but we never had the use for it. Soon, a reflection of the trio appeared. I can see them, but they would never see me. I then said another spell to enhance my hearing and listened in to the conversation.

"...You trust your intellect that much?" I could only see the back of Regulus' head. Bella nodded and Narcissa spoke.

"Regulus, we need a lot of dirt. We also need that little tart on our side." Regulus snorted.

"And yet getting me to get into her pants makes her want to befriend you... how?" Bella smirked at Regulus.

"See, cousin, I didn't see you having a problem when you were getting busy."

"I would never have a problem with that, no matter how stupid the plan. Hello did you see those breasts?" I shuddered.

"We really don't notice those things, Regulus. Honestly though, what do you know?" Bellatrix asked glimpsing around. I slipped more down the both.

"Lucius and her made out. That's about all I know." Narcissa threw her hands down. Shit.

"Excuse me?" She screeched.

"Yep."

"How far?" Narcissa asked, clearly disgusted, but looking towards Sirius' table more frequently.

"Second base?" Regulus scratched his head and shrugged. "Give him credit: It took me two weeks to get that far. Not the most pleasant two weeks, I must add." Yeah, because you were playing hot and cold, sex god and naive virgin. Give me a break!

"Omigod!" I heard the shuffle of a chair, and a cry of 'no don't!' and next thing I knew I saw Narcissa walk to Sirius' table. Her screech could be heard above the noise...mostly because of my hearing.

"Quiet." I got normal hearing and walked up behind Narcissa.

"...your tart of a girlfriend? I have some unfinished business with that slut." Before anyone could say anything, I jumped right in.

"Do you know where your name is derived from?" I ask her, completely throwing her off. "The Greek Goddess, Narcissus, a beautiful but vain goddess. It is her where narcissism is derived: vanity and elitism." Narcissa looked down her pinched nose at me.

"Where is this going you scum?" I laughed at her.

"You're so vain that you didn't even notice that your... boyfriend? Really? Anyway, that he was macking on other girls. Nonetheless, this happened...oh...I don't know...THREE MONTHS AGO!" She stepped back from me and I came closer. "I completely moved on from the worst kisser in the whole world and I am now fucking your cousin like it's nobody's business, which it really isn't." I grabbed my Tori's bag and sprinted out of the Three Broomsticks, uneasy.

On her side?

Their side?

Why do they want me on their side?

Why, why, why?

This isn't clear at all. I'm just as good as anyone else in all my classes. My father disgraced his pureblood family. He may be a healer, but purebloods never forget an offense.

"Katrina!" I heard someone call out to me. I turned around to see Sirius running after me, breathless. "What happened back there?" He asked, falling into step with me.

"Well, while you were completely ignoring me, I went over and eavesdropped on them. They want something from me, and what it is, I wouldn't know. Your psycho cousin went berserk over finding out that I hooked up with Lucius and I didn't get the chance to hear what it was they want."

"You hooked up with Lucius Malfoy?" Of course out of all that information, Sirius picks up on that. I sighed.

"Yes. The day we got together, I went insane-o and made out with Lucius beforehand. For the record, you and I weren't even allowed to speak them."

"Right. And what do you mean that I was ignoring you?" Wow.

"You know, I just told you that your evil kin wants something from me, and all you're concerned about is yourself?" Sirius looked at me and smirked.

"If it was something bad, they would have done something by now."

"OMG IDIOT! THEY ALREADY TRIED!" Comprehension dawned on his face.

"Shit. What would they want from you?"

"I don't know! If I knew I wouldn't be squabbling with you!" I groaned and slowed my pace down.

We were silent for the most part, just walking side by side. Well, what else were we going to say? We were stuck in the middle of a problem that couldn't even begin to make sense...at all. Nonetheless, I was also pissed because I just bought some sexy lingerie and once again, the Vain Crew, a.k.a Narcissa, Bellatrix and Regulus, went and ruined the mood.

Damn those purebloods. For once, JUST ONCE, can I try to seduce someone? And if I fail, can it be because he has self control and not because someone else gets involved?

Damn those purebloods.

"By the way, I loved the way you told off Narcissa." I smiled. I remember saying something a little explicit. "Fucking your cousin? Nice. Real nice." He put his arm around me and nodded towards my bag. We were so on the same page right now. "Everyone knows what you buy when you go into Tori's." Told you. "Something for me?" I smirked and broke away from him.

"Only if you can catch me." And with that I raced up to the castle, Sirius shortly behind me.

* * *

"I won!" Sirius yelled, narrowly winning by like a foot. We ended up in his dormitory... going along as planned. Well as I planned, at least.

"Let me see what's in the bag." He said, stepping so close that we were practically breathing the same air. He looked down, his hair falling in my face, and peaked inside the bag.

Silence.

More silence.

And even more silence.

"Oh boy."

I could practically hear his heart racing.

"Oh, baby." He sifted through the bag a little more, gradually losing his breath.

"You like?" I tempted him by stepping back little by little. He followed.

"Like?" He tore the bag from my hands and threw it on his bed. "Love is more like."

Sirius gently grabbed my head and kissed me on the lips with heated passion.

"Try them on for me."

YES!

YES!

A THOUSAND TIMES YES!

MY PLAN IS WORKING!

"Hmm... I don't know." That's right, tiger, tease him. Tease him within an inch of his life.

"You don't know?" He repeated, kissing my jaw line, my neck, my shoulder...

"I just bought them. I don't want them to be ruined." My cleavage, my ribcage, my belly button. His hot breath tickled my skin as he laughed.

"I'm sure they will be out of the way." He kissed me on the lips once, twice, and the third time he spun me around and pushed the bag into my hands.

Now if I really wanted this to go my way, I would try on the red silk baby doll first.

"I think I'll try on the red one first." Sirius smiled seductively at me.

"I like red silk on a girl." He untucked his shirt and unbuttoned the first few. Go figure.

Five minutes later, I was staring at myself in the mirror with the red silk baby doll. Dream Katrina did not lie... damn did I look good.

"I'm waiting." Sirius said from the other side. I giggled at him. I jiggled the door knob in anticipation.

"Damn it looks like the door is stuck." I held my laughter as I heard him sigh. A click resounded and the door popped open a little.

"Are we not a witch?"

"I wouldn't test the person who is running this show."

"I could kick down that door, but for the sake of your innocence, I won't." I snorted rather loudly.

"Innocent my ass." I whispered.

"I heard that." I giggled and slowly, ever so slowly... okay so slowly that it took me three minutes just to crack it open... I opened the door.

Sirius was sitting on the edge of his bed, watching me.

"Come out, come out, Kitty..." I walked in full view and Sirius took a sharp intake of air.

"Oh." I walked slowly towards him, reaching out to grab his hand.

"Oh?" I questioned him, kissing his fingertips. You ask me how I am keeping my cool when I clearly wanted to jump him right then and there... I don't know. He closed his eyes and moaned a little.

"Oh? That's it... oh?" I slid his arm around my waist, and I sat on him, looking down at him. Shaking my hair back, I continued to speak. "I put on your favorite and all I get is an oh? Very disappointing, my dear."

"Trust me; there is nothing disappointing about you, sexy." He replied all husky. How I tossed him the power...I don't know.

"Show me just how sexy I am." He smirked at me. I tore off his shirt and pushed him back, never taking my eyes off of his. I kissed him, slowly at first and then faster. I could feel his self control thinning as his hands ran up and down my back, his breathing becoming ragged, and as he sighed softly when I kissed his neck.

"Katrina..." He whispered to me. He wanted to take the baby doll off. I could feel his anticipation.

"We really shouldn't do this." He finally said. Way to kill the mood. I groaned loudly and fell against him.

"Wow... talk about tease." I got off of him and walked towards the bathroom, not caring that I slammed the door.

"Kat, it's just I want to wait-"

"-for the right time, I know this Sirius." I sighed once. And again. And one more time before I felt my throat tightening.

"Kat, please come out."

"I am getting changed." This is getting old. I turned on the water and rinsed my face and cooled my throat down.

I swung open the door, completely dressed and bag in hand. Sirius was standing right there, shirt back on.

"Kat, don't be mad." He pleaded with me.

"I'm not mad, just disappointed." I shrugged and continued to make my way towards the door, but Sirius stopped me.

"Kat."

"Sirius I want to be with you. Honestly. But in truth, don't bait me like that when you know what I want." Oh boy do you know what I want.

"I'm sorry. I want your first time to be right." Yeah... when we get to the romantic talk all I want to do is barf. How touchy can you get? I am not dating Sirius Black because he is gentle.

Please.

If I wanted gentle, I would have chosen Remus. Hell... at this point, Remus would be more rough than Sirius.

"Spare me the finer details. Do you remember the night before Christmas break?" I asked him, inching towards the door.

"Yes. That was the night of Remus' party, correct? Why?"

"Do you remember what we did that night?" He smiled at me.

"We danced."

"Yes. And that night you were on me more than you've ever been. Funny because we weren't even dating." He was growing angrier as I pushed him more and more.

"Katrina, please. Things change. I have feelings for you now. I don't want to hurt you." Can't even say I love you, man... tsk tsk.

"You're hurting me now, every time you do this." He sighed and looked at me.

"We're not doing this now."

"I don't want to do this either, but keep in mind the next time you kiss me, don't tease me."

"I was not-"

"Swear to God, Sirius, if you say you weren't teasing me than I must be dreaming. Three points: You get all excited and ask me to try my lingerie on. Then, you are all over me, making out with me, groping me. And, finally, you push me away, telling me we shouldn't do this. That's like selling heroin to an addict and then saying sorry, I shouldn't do this and take it back."

"Not the same thing at all, Kat."

"Is too and you know it."

"Are you saying you're a sex addict?"

"I wouldn't know, would I Sirius?" He growled at me.

"You make things so difficult!"

"Oh, I'm sorry! I know how much you don't want to do this!"

"Please!"

"No, no. Since we are not having sex, I'm not going to watch my figure anymore!" Silence. "Yeah! I'm going to eat everything in sight!"

"You're ranting and you're not making any sense"

"Shut up. Just tell me you don't think of me that way and I'll stop this."

"Kat."

"Sirius."

He sighed again. There was more than a minute of silence.

"Thanks for the answer."

"Come on! You didn't even give me the chance!"

"CHANCE FOR WHAT?"

"To tell you how I feel!"

"It takes you that long? You know what, it's simple for me. You ready? I love you to death and I think of you all the fucking time! And I want you always and it's so painful that at times I can't even believe you wouldn't want me! God!"

"Forget it! You want to fuck me that bad?" He stepped closer to me, hands raised.

"Omg yes Sirius! How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"You want me, you can have me!" With that he marched over to me, and pressed his lips against mine. By far it was the best, yet the worst. It was the best because he showed no control. It was the worst because I didn't want it. Not at all. Every nerve in my body was on high wire, going yes finally! And yet I was scared shitless, terrified of the man pressed against me.

He tore my jeans open and threw me on the bed. Seconds later, he was on top of me shirtless, lifting my tank top off.

There is no way I was going to go through with this.

My jeans were off and he was kissing me ferociously.

By the way, we weren't even on his bed. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure this was Remus'.

"Sirius." I gasped as he kissed me harder. I was not able to escape. I scratch his back painfully, and he stopped kissing me. He looked at me, expectant.

"No, no!" I practically screamed. I grabbed my jeans and put them on.

"Katrina..." Sirius whispered to me, beckoning me over to him. I was shaking all over.

I was so very wrong. Sirius was right, yet he didn't know it. I wasn't ready. All those times I knew he would say no. It was a guarantee. This time though... he was going to give me what I wanted and it scared the shit out of me.

"Come here." He said, standing up. Hell no. I am a woman with pride and right now you do not need to see my face.

"Kat" I was searching for my tank top, looking everywhere but-

"Here." He said, his hand dangling over my shoulder. He was pressed against me, his hand rubbing my shoulder.

"Kitten..." Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, sob-

"Oh man." Fucking traitorous mouth.

"I don't want to say I-"

"Then don't. Really." I said, barely in a whisper. I grew self conscious as I slipped on my tank top, my back still revealing to him. He wrapped his arms around my stomach and kissed the side of my neck.

"I would never, ever, have done that. I wanted you scared."

"Mission accomplished."

"As to what you said, Kat, I want you. I want you so bad it's excruciating. As a matter of fact, I lost everything just then in my haste for you. I dream of being with you constantly, waiting for the perfect time. I don't want you to be just another notch on my bedpost, entry in my journal, or anything like that. When it's time, you'll know and you'll be nervous for all the right reasons."

That kind of talk made shivers go up and down my spine. I tilted my head back, and let him kiss me gently, forgetting what just happened.

His lingering taste left more promise than any of his words.

"Soon. Very soon."

* * *

I know...I know...it's been two months...well my people, this story is really starting to get there...whatever there is. I know this isn't ending soon...I mean you at least have forty or so chapters left, give or take. But I do know how the ending is going to be and that is why it took me a while to write this chapter...I wanted everything to fit.

So off from the serious stuff....Like always, I want to thank my beta Zoe, who actually checked her email before getting pizza after two weeks in France...Personally, I would have chosen the pizza. But you are a godsend. And is there pizza in France? I wouldn't know...we Americans are culturally challenged...well I am.

Am I babbling?

Much love to my reviewers, who constantly keep me going and always drives me to some Sirius on Kat chapters....

I hate school but Summer is making me insane.

lovelovelove,

Megg


	20. Sometimes Whiskey can be Disasterous

"We have a serious problem, Padfoot!"

I think we all know the world is ending when James Potter, as in THE James Potter, comes running down from the dormitory completely panicked and screaming MAY-DAY, MAY-DAY!

"What? WHAT?"

Yep. It's the apocalypse. Sirius never loses his cool like that.

"The map... it's... it's... missing..." I have no idea what map they are talking about, but from James' behaviour, you would think it leads to gold.

"WHAT THE FUCK JAMES! WHAT DO YOU MEAN MISSING?" Correction: This is Sirius freaking out.

"What's going on guys?" Remus voiced my thoughts, entering a silent common room with Peter slowly trailing behind.

"Prongs says the map is missing."

And even more silence.

"Did you check under-?"

"-Peter's bed?" He nodded frantically and swallowed. "Yes and all I found was his underwear."

"I have been looking for them..." Peter trailed off.

"Not the time Peter!" James screamed. Lily was standing next to me, not sure what to do. "We can't find the map!"

"What map?" I asked. No one answered. "Sirius... what map?" Still, no answer. I looked at Lily, who covered her ears. "I THINK I ACCIDENTLY TOOK IT WHEN I GRABBED MY CLOTHES OFF OF YOUR NIGHTSTAND LAST NIGHT." Laughter erupted in the common room and all the boys stared at me... almost menacingly.

"Where is it Kat?" Sirius asked, placing his hands on my shoulders.

I shrugged.

"I don't know. I just want to know what map you are talking about." Sirius sighed and paced around me.

"Can't say now. Secret Marauder business." James said, wringing his hands. Remus was the only one thinking logically.

"Let's look in the room one more time."

"Moony you have no idea how many times I asked that damn room!" What the hell? "I tore the room apart and still nothing!" James ran his hand threw his hair and grabbed it. He was completely losing it.

"Hey, James, do you want help?" Lily asked nervously. She was kind of cute, all shy and non-dominating. But James hardly noticed, which was a first, and shrugged her off.

This had to be serious.

"Well let's look one last time and then we'll search the school for it." Remus, the logical thinker, said. Everyone obeyed and walked up the dormitory stairs.

Lily and I followed.

"You sure we can't help?" Lily asked again, this time grabbing James' hand and looking at him intently.

He cracked a smile.

Yep. She definitely got his attention.

"Guys?" James asked, never taking his eyes off of Lily, who was starting to squirm under his gaze.

"No, Prongs. Nope. I didn't even tell Katrina."

Hey.

Hey.

Back that up.

"You know, honesty is important in a relationship, Sirius." I looked at him, and pointed a finger.

"This isn't about honesty. It's about the namesake of the Marauders and our leaving legend."

"Leaving legend?" Lily and I asked at the same time. At some point, maybe all of this will make sense. But I was lost at missing map. And leaving legend... wasn't it supposed to be living legend? Then again... this is Potter we are talking about.

"We are artists, Lily. We have mastered the art of pranks and practical jokes. Every aspiring prankster will one day look back at us, the Marauders, and realize what they have to live up to."

Silence.

"That was... wow James. Wow. I was moved. And this map has what to do with it?" I asked, getting impatient.

"Prongs!" Sirius warned. I lightly slapped Sirius on the arm and silenced him with a glare.

"I think it's okay," Remus interjected. "I've been friends with Kat forever and it's not like she or Lily are likely to tell." All four boys looked at each other and sighed simultaneously... which was a little odd.

"Okay, so we have a map of Hogwarts."

And?

"So? You can get one of those easily. First year students practically live on them." Lily said, folding her arms.

"I didn't have one when we were in first year." I mumbled. Lily scoffed.

"Well obviously, considering you were always late for classes because you were lost. I think after the first two months the teachers caught on that you were too lazy to get up earlier."

"Sorry I don't live under the Headmaster's nose." Lily snorted at me. "We'll go get you guys another one."

Again, they all sighed at once.

"No, Kat. We made this ourselves." Remus said, taking a seat on his trunk. He was on the bed Sirius and I almost did the deed on... I knew it was his.

"So you're overachievers. We know that. Quite well, actually, considering you guys are top of the class." I said, still not getting what the big deal was.

They all sighed again.

That was getting pretty annoying.

"Okay, listen because I am only going to say this once: We made a map of Hogwarts... but it's not a regular map. In fact, this map is so unique that whoever got their hands on it has no idea what a priceless heirloom they have." Sirius started.

"It started when we found out about Remus' furry little problem." James said. Yes, Lily knew... in case you were wondering. "We... ah... we were trying to... well..." Let's just say that Lily knew about Remus being a werewolf but not about the boys turning animagi. "Uh-"

"We made a map of Hogwarts that detailed the entire grounds: every secret passageway, every nook and cranny, and even some of the forbidden forest. But the most important thing about this map is that we can see wherever one person is, at any given time. Every person can be seen on the map with their names and the place they currently are." Peter stated. That was a lot of words for someone who barely ever spoke.

"But that's not the most terrible part. We can get out of the castle, undetected. We can get into any common room. We have the power of surprise." Remus said.

"Which means if this map falls into the wrong hands, shit could go wrong." James stood and started pacing again.

"Luckily, you have to know the secret password to actually get the map to work. It's pretty clever, actually." Sirius said trying to lighten the mood.

But Lily and I were in a state of shock. Lily was pretty fascinated by the whole ordeal.

"James... that's some pretty intense magic." She whispered to him.

But me?

"Sirius," I said, completely and utterly petrified.

And of course, he hasn't caught on.

"Yes, my love?" He drawled looking down at me.

"Sirius," I said once more. He quirked an eyebrow.

"Kat?" He said, folding his arms.

"Let's just say, for the sake of the argument, that the map did fall into the wrong hands and knew how to use it. Could it be possible they would know where two people are at? Like say... I don't know... the fourth floor broom closet???" Sirius nearly toppled over.

"Shit."

"What? What Sirius?" James looked at both of us frantically. No one had any idea what the fuck we were talking about.

"It's not possible though. How could they even find out the password?" He said to me, trying to be calm.

"Sirius. It's your brother. And I saw this map. It had to be the piece of paper they passed in the Three Broomsticks."

"What's going on?" Lily asked us, completely confused.

"But that doesn't explain how they knew about it beforehand, when they actually cornered us." He had a point.

"Who cornered you?" Remus asked, scratching his head.

"Sirius... they have to have it! It fits! Look at the facts: they knew exactly where we were. They even said it themselves that it would look suspicious if all of them were out of class at the same time. They used their free period!"

"It doesn't explain how they knew we were going to be there! I didn't even know we were going to be there."

"Not the point. If they had the map, wouldn't they know where we are? Regardless of last minute decisions?"

"Point taken. But still... something doesn't feel... right. Like how do they even know the password?"

"Kill me." I sighed and sat on the bed. It made sense to me... minus not knowing how they even knew about it. But it makes sense. If this map shows where we are... all the time... then they have it. They've got to have it. Who spends their free period just hanging out in the hallway?

Oh... right...

"Can either of you guys care to enlighten us?" James asked, slightly alarmed. Sirius and I looked at each other, uneasy at telling them. It felt wrong, like we couldn't even trust our best friends, but it's just... complicated.

"Not really, James." Sirius whispered, pinching his eyes shut. I knew how it killed him to keep something as big as this from James.

"Katrina?" Lily asked.

"Not really, Lily." I kept my eyes on Sirius, not wanting to see their reaction. Call it cowardice, call it lying, call it betrayal... whatever. But I did not want to tell them.

"We told you about the map." James countered.

"Point." Sirius said, looking at me. I cocked my head and sighed.

"Not that we don't trust you, but if this gets out, I'm coming after all of you with a really sharp knife." Sirius smirked at me.

"If anyone finds this out, it basically rules out our chances of finding out what's going on."

"Simply put: We were outnumbered by the Slytherins a few days ago. The day we were late for Charms? Well we left early and went down to the dungeons."

"Wait, why would you even go down there if you were skipping class?" Lily asked me.

"I don't know, Lils. The better question would be how did the Slytherins know we were there?"

"They actually knew quite a lot about... us." Yeah that was a little awkward. Maybe I haven't come to terms with the fact that Sirius and I aren't going all the way anytime soon because of me... but you didn't hear it from me.

"Like...?" Lily asked.

"Don't push it, Lils." I answered through gritted teeth. Sirius placed his hand on my arm and squeezed. I looked at him and let go of the tension I unknowingly had. Okay it's a sore spot! What can I say? I hate being proven wrong. Hate it. I have a lot of pride... maybe a little too damn much.

"Anyway," Sirius continued. "Kat spied on them during the Hogsmeade visit. Someone is checking up on her. They found out she made out with Lucius and that's why Narcissa went berserk." Was it me or did I sense bitterness in his voice when he said that? "And they want something from her. We just don't know but we need to find out." I kind of did know... but how do you explain that they want you on their side? It doesn't even make sense to me.

"And now you think they have the map?" Lily finished for us.

"It does fit... somewhat. But how did they even know such a map exists? I mean, let's get real: they think we are stupid."

"Let's not underestimate the enemy, James. We do that and we're screwed." Huh... can't even say 'screwed' without that sore spot flinching.

"What are we going to do?" Lily said. It may be sappy to say this, but I get all warm and fuzzy when Lily jumps by my side, not knowing or caring what lies ahead.

And yes, that is the reason why we are best friends.

"I have an idea. Let's just imagine that we left it in the shack. The last time we saw it was at the full moon, right?" The boys nodded in agreement. "Okay, we'll just go blindfolded. James and Lily: You guys go ahead to the Shack. Search carefully. Peter and I will search the Room of Requirement."

"Good luck." I muttered. Remus glared at me.

"You and Sirius can wait here."

"Why?" We shrieked at the same time.

"Because there is no other place the map can be. So double check the room."

"So you give us the most boring assignment? And James already checked!"

"Double check, Padfoot. Let's get moving. The faster the map is in our hands, the calmer everything will be." With that, Remus stood and walked out, everyone minus Sirius and me, following him. If it wasn't for his furry little problem, Remus would make an excellent Auror.

"Alright, let's get this over with. You check on this side, and I'll handle over-why are you smirking at me?" Because it was unnerving to see him so sexy.

"Come hither." He said seductively.

I burst out laughing.

"That was cute. Really. Come hither."

I laughed again, but I did come over to him, however slowly it was. He looking up at me from his bed and placed his hands on my hips.

"Hey buddy..." I said as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my stomach. He looked at me again. "I think we should look. It's just like Remus said: Once this map is in our hands, we can figure everything out." Let's back it up: AM I seriously passing up a prime make out session?

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked, clearly concerned and clearly on the same page as me.

"Yeah. I am. I'm just..." Liar, Liar...liarliarliarliar.

You are so not fine.

Especially with his arms wrapped around you, in close proximity...

And a sudden, scary thought hit me: am I repulsed by Sirius?

Is that even possible?

Yet here I stand, completely uncomfortable in this position when I know that a week ago I would die for this.

And I could feel me breathing faster, twitching, really out of place.

"Um...I need a second." I said, pushing his arms away.

"Kat?" Sirius followed me to the bathroom. I breathed in and out slowly.

"Do you need to go to the Hospital Wing or something?"

"Just a shortness of breath is all." Really Katrina? Really?

"Are you sure?" He asked, placing his hand on my back.

Oh no. No no no...

NO!

"Sirius I am going to throw up!" I yelled. He immediately backed up. I kept motioning for him to get out and he conceded, shutting the door.

You don't need the gruesome details.

* * *

"Lily... I'm scared." I whispered to her later that evening. Once I left the boys dormitory, I finally felt at ease... somewhat. I'm keep trying to tell myself it was just bad food... but no.

"We'll get the map... don't worry." She placed a consoling hand on my shoulder and for once in her life she had no idea what was going on with me.

"Lily, it's not that. It's... how do I even put this? It's like I am repulsed of Sirius. When he touched me earlier it was so uncomfortably awkward and that was when I got sick." Lily took this all in and then sat down next to me.

"Is there something else you aren't telling me?" Now Lily knows that Sirius and I didn't go all the way... but not to the extremes. Okay she knows I want him (or used) but not that I practically beg... or that it was scientifically proven that I wasn't ready...

"Nope. Not a thing." I answered with a smile. Lily quirked her eyebrows.

"It has to be food poisoning or something. James repulsed me to no end... remember?" Blah blah blah. LIAR! YOU ARE A LIAR! "But now we are friends?" It was my turn to raise my eyebrows. Lily groaned. "Yes, Kat, just friends. As in not with benefits or anything of that sort. We are just getting to know each other... that's it." I smirked.

"So you like him? You think he is attractive?" Lily snorted.

"I'll agree that he is attractive but I like him... as a friend. Now back to your problem. Seriously, Sirius didn't induce your vomiting. It isn't logical at all. It was just a coincidence really. Besides you can't be sick around him- James and Sirius are staying right next door to us!"

Let's back track shall we?

"WHAT?" I screeched.

"We went through this did we not?" Lily sighed. "Okay James' parents rented out a beach house which happened to be right next to mine. But we have a pool and they don't so James is practically living with me."

"Uhh... uhh... okay." Breathe... breathe... WHAT THE FUCK? NEXT DOOR!? HOW? LIKE COULDN'T THE POTTERS CHOOSE A HOUSE... OH I DON'T KNOW SOMEWHERE IN THAILAND????

Now exactly why am I freaking out? I'm almost seventeen- the legal age in the wizarding world. I should be absolutely ecstatic that I can see my boyfriend every damn summer day. I should be happy that the school year is almost over and I have three whole months for nonstop fun and hanging out with my friends. I should feel as if I was on top of the world.

But really, I didn't feel any of that. I was emotionally confused. I was downright humiliated (if not intentionally) by my boyfriend for a good cause (or so he thinks). And now I have to endure three endless summer months with him. I feel like banging my head against the wall, or swim with the sharks... I'd rather pet a snake liberally (and I have a snake phobia) than endure this.

Once upon a time, I used to think God hated me. That Merlin put me on his shit list. Then everything got great and wonderful. But now they all hate me again. I would tell them to grow up but then I would get smited, but I don't want that. No. I want two bottles of fire whiskey, painkillers (for the hangover), and a crowded room with loud music.

I want to hang out with Chase and Sandra Werth.

* * *

"Came to brag about your relationship with Sirius, Katrina?" It was kind of intimidating talking to Sandra with the entire fast crowd listening in. But I wasn't really thinking about that. I put on my charm and pushed away the thoughts of me smothering Sandra with a pillow.

"Me? Pish posh. That's old news, right? The past?" Sandra quirked her eyebrows. "Like a really really long time ago?"

"It was only six months ago." She answered me sharply.

"Look, all I have to say is I am sorry about what I said to you on the train. Rose was dying for attention and lying about Sirius and I. I mean wouldn't I admit it if now that I was dating him? But really, I miss the old times. Just hanging out in Hogsmeade, chilling out... no worries. And it's the last weekend before exams. We could really use one more party night, you know?"

Sandra smiled real big at me.

"I get it, Heartfaw. I'm so over it. And yes, this is our last party date before the exams. You gonna join us for one last visit?" Wow. Who knew I won her over so easily?

"Uh yeah! I would love that." We both did that awkward thing where you smiled, nodded, looked around, and all that shit because you have nothing else to say. Chase finally look over at us, flashed that dazzling smile and spoke.

"So Friday night. Meet us here at nine... like always." Of course of course. But how do you sneak around Lily and Sirius?

* * *

"Where are you going?" Lily asked me. I had on a denim short skirt and a white tank top. If the winters were unbearable in clubs, you don't want to go there with the summers. Plus all that sneaking around makes you all sweaty.

"Just out for a walk... you know?"

"Looking like that? Uh huh. Feed that story to someone else." I grew impatient immediately.

"Don't you have some last minute studying to do? Isn't the Charms exam Monday?" Lily's eyes widened and she grabbed at her notes, frantically looking through them. I quickly snuck out before she realized what I did.

As if Lily was my only problem.

"Hey babe," Sirius said, waving me over to him. He and James were playing chess while Remus was going through some notes on the Charms exam. "Where you going looking all sexy?" I was not actually showing that much skin.

Maybe I was...

"For a walk? Lily said the same thing. I'm just... growing out of my shorts," I lied.

"Want some company?" He asked me, smiling slowly. Aw shit. I could feel my stomach tangling.

"Actually I just need a little breathing space. But I'll be back soon." I smiled at him, but his face went blank, looking a little hurt. To ease his tension, I tentatively reached out and lightly kissed him on the lips. My mind went into overload and I quickly broke it off, noticing that that was the first time I kissed him in almost two weeks. He smiled a little, but he looked a little alarmed and maybe suspicious.

"You okay?" He asked me, taking my hand in his. It was like I wanted to scratch my hand off.

"Yes, I am fine. I just want to clear my head before exams, you know? And I can't do that while making out."

"Okay." I smiled and pulled away, but Sirius' grip tightened and he pulled me towards him, placing his hand behind my head and kissing me passionately (without tongue I must add). I could feel my stomach clenching, and I had an intense urge to claw my skin off.

All signs point to revulsion!

I pushed away and filed (fake smiled) at him, rushing out of the portrait. And I ran all the way to the Great Hall... not noticing anything. Not the stinging behind my eyes, or the nagging in my brain, or the fact that somebody was definitely following us out of the castle.

No. In my mind it was just me and fire whiskey and maybe a little weed.

Or so I thought.

* * *

"It's been a while hasn't it Katrina!" Sandra yelled over the music. I had a lot of liquor... I lost count after my fourteenth shot of fire whiskey. In my defence, Sandra challenged me to a drinking contest (which I proudly won).

It felt great to be so released, so free. I loved not having any worries, even if just for one night.

"Hello Katrina." Even on the dark dance floor, with loud music, and gyrating people... I knew that voice. I knew it. But I couldn't figure out how I should feel...

It's the effect of fire whiskey.

"You look just as sexy as ever." He put his hands on my waist and danced with me. I happily complied.

But shouldn't I feel something? Like... like...

"Do you want another drink?" I nodded, but still danced. He was back in an instant, handing me a small glass of mead. I gulped it down and threw the glass back at him.

We danced a little more... but I couldn't help but feel confused... shouldn't I be... Why isn't...

It just wasn't clicking and I was too trashed to actually think about it too much.

His lips were on my neck, whilst his hands gripped me tightly around my waist. Soon we were making out, and I was getting really turned on...

But...

FINALLY!

"I gotta go." I tried to push him away but-

"Don't go. We were just starting to have fun."

"Yeah but I-"

"Have a boyfriend?" Came a voice suddenly.

Wow....

What is going on here?

What the-?

And once again, it all went black.

* * *

I woke up in my dormitory, still dressed in last night's clothes. I didn't fully understand what happened. I pushed myself up, fully aware of the headache, and saw the dormitory empty minus Lily who was sitting on the edge of her bed, looking at me.

"Hey," I started, hoping to God she had no idea what happened, but then hoping that she did know.

"Don't." She stood up and walked over to me, unsmiling. "I have nothing to do with this, but you have to go talk to Sirius."

"Why?"

"Not my place. He's in the common room. Everyone else is enjoying the nice day outside. I'll be out there." When she left, I felt more confused than ever. But after a quick shower, and some fresh clothes, I still couldn't understand last night's events. I couldn't remember.

When I went into the common room, I felt as if something was off.

Sirius sat, on the sofa facing the girl's dormitory. When he heard my feet, he looked and stood.

"Do you remember what happened last night?" He asked me.

"I went for a walk and then came back?" I tried at humor but Sirius was so... serious. He was grim and extremely hurt and sad but I didn't understand. "What is going on?" I asked him.

"Try that again. What happened last night?" He said to me, ever patient, ever calm, but he was so hurt it almost made me cry.

"Okay okay... but promise you won't get mad." He didn't even make a motion, just stared at me, his eyes full of despair. "I went to a nearby club with Sandra-" It sounds better if I leave out the Chase part. "And I got trashed. But I can't remember a thing after actually entering the club and everyone is acting so weird around me and-Sirius what is wrong?"

"Why did you go to the club with Sandra?"

"I just wanted to hang out with her!" I answered, not exactly sure how I was ever going to explain this to him.

"So you go with Sandra, your ex-boyfriend's sister, and I'm not even going to mention that Chase was with you, and you decided to not tell me or Lily?"

"As if I was going to be like, hey I'm getting trashed, just wanted to let you know. What was I supposed to say?" Sirius looked at me full on.

"The truth. Because did you know that the Slytherins followed you to the club?" Wow. "Did you know that they slipped in a drug in the drink that Regulus handed you?"

Oh no... no no no no no...

I knew exactly what happened.

I burst into tears and turned away from him.

"Had Lily not come to her senses about three seconds after you left, I don't want to know what would have happened to you." He was silent for a moment as I cried. "But I was there and I saw the whole thing." I choked on a sob. "I've always wanted to see my girlfriend make out with my brother."

Ouch.

Big time.

This fucking sucks to the extreme.

"I don't even know what to say." I told him. Well actually it was all chokey and stupid and... well... incoherent.

"What?" Sirius said.

"What do you want me to say?" I rephrased, maybe a little louder. Sirius was still calm as looked at my face.

"Nothing. Because you have nothing to say. I'm done." No.

"Done with what?" I whispered.

"Us. I can't even do this anymore."

"Sirius I was completely trashed! I didn't even know what happened until just know! I can understand if you are mad at me, but don't give up on this!" I was hysterical.

"We are done. And it's not just that. You lied to me. I'm through doing this, Katrina."

Sirius strode out of the room before I could even yell at him.

But we were over. Completely done. I am no expert at relationships, but when you make out with your boyfriend's brother, there is no hope left to the relationship.

Now Merlin must really fucking hate me.

* * *

To Zoe: Because I am so lazy I can't email you back. Blood Promise is apart of the Vampire Academy series. It's fucking awesome and amazing and when I started to read otI completely bawled my eyes out...so much so that I now have the friggen flu ugh kill me :/ You should read it. Hell everyone should it. It's almost as amazing as Harry Potter, completely better than Twilight, and I am at a loss of words right now to explain my grief over this book. Has anyone else read it? One word: Dimitri :[

To my adoring readers and reviewers: I love you guys. Honestly. I think my head is going to explode from all this stupid snot. It's the middle of the summer! How do you get sick!?? Anyways I love and appreciate you and don't kill me because of this chapter...there is stilla long way to go.

Which means that, yes this is all real and not some crazy dream. Yet my drunken Katrina returned for a little bit! Go her! But then again, her and Sirius are over. What an interesting Summer that's going to be....

Can't wait to hear what you think...as long as you don't kill me.

lovelovelove,

Megg


	21. Yet Sometimes Whiskey can be Your BFF

So there was a lot of confusion in the last chapter. I want to put this out there now that Katrina is a drama queen. Her pride was hurt and she hated that. Hello! for like the majority of this story she has been trying to get in Sirius' pants and when he finally gives into her, she realizes she isn't ready? Yep defintely a hurt pride. And Kat loves her alcohol too so hey, shes like any teenager: Having a bad day? Get a drink! And, believe it or not, Sirius is her first love no matter how rocky the relationship. So when he breaks up with her, she's a little devastated but....

Well when you read this chapter, things might defintely be clearer.

* * *

I could lie and say I moped around for the next two weeks before school ended. I mean I could tell you that I was in bed, crying away, with six boxes of tissues around me, blubbering on and on about how we were made for each other. I could even say that I was a downright whore, with no principles, and no regards for other people's feelings.

But that would be a lie.

It took me almost two minutes after Sirius left the common room to sober up completely and get on with it. A small, minuscule part of my mind said that I should have been torn apart but that would require energy. I didn't even stash myself away. I didn't even use a tissue...unless you want to count me using my sleeve to wipe off a few tears.

I had to give myself some space. I needed an effing break from Sirius. Like a real break. I needed some quality me time. And once I figured that when I wanted Sirius, I could always talk to him. I was over our fight in a flash.

Now all I had to deal with was Lily.

What I really hated about all of this is that no one has ever been in my position. Granted, I acted irrationally but I'm almost seventeen so let me live dammit! Lily, perfect, smart Lily, has boyfriends and playmates... as I like to call them. She can handle both in a relationship. I can't. Sirius can't have a relationship and playmates... that would be asking too damn much. I missed that smoldering Sirius, who with one look could make your knees go weak and your heart flutter. He could have made you do anything he commanded and you would have willingly complied. Instead, I got the sappy, serious side of Sirius. True, he tried to throw in a little spice, but that didn't work.

So when I left for the grounds, Lily was near our tree (the one where I told her about my feelings of Sirius. The day we got together...not that I am thinking of that). She looked up as I approached.

"Lils you are my best friend and I am bound to make really stupid decisions. So while I am on a mature streak, I would like to apologize for lying to you and the next time that I decide to go out and get smashed, I'll ask if you want to tag along." She smirked at me.

"That is all I ask. So can I ask what happened with Sirius?" Lily asked tentatively. I shrugged, unbothered.

"Over. But don't worry about me... I have party plans for us over the summer. Maybe we can meet some hot beach babes, eh?" I raised my brows and laughed with her. She didn't seem sure of my statement, but she laughed anyway.

For the last two weeks of school, Lily and I studied like no one's business.

"Lily...." I teased her the morning before the History of Magic exam. "What is the capital of New York?"

"ALBANY!" Wow. She is freaky. She was panting, staring at me wide-eyed. "Do you think they would add world history in too?" I was too stunned to speak.

"Doubt it." I whispered. I didn't even know where New York was located. Hell, I don't even know where France is. I am culturally challenged.

Exams were fairly simple for us. For all Lily's freaking out and worldly knowledge, she was calm and collected while taking her exams. I was completely focused so exams passed in no time.

"Let's have a party, Remus. A real party. Not that shitty thing you had before Christmas break." Remus gave a dirty look. It was breakfast before the last exam which happened to be Potions. "It's the last day of exams and everyone needs to loosen up and get ready for the summer!"

"What exactly is your definition of party?" It was Peter who spoke. Odd, considering he hardly ever spoke to me before. I thought maybe he was trying to be sarcastic on Sirius' behalf but Sirius wasn't even at breakfast. I only fleetingly saw him at the end. James listened in while Lily looked over her notes.

"Well first there has to be alcohol."

"Of course." Lily mumbled. I smiled at her.

"Maybe we can finally play a game of shots, though I dare say that you'll lose." Lily looked up at me and narrowed her eyes.

"How can you even think of partying with Potions exams coming up in twenty minutes?"

"Lils, listen to me: I am going to let you meet an old friend of mine who has always been kind."

"Who?" James demanded.

"Fire whiskey." Lily scoffed and stuffed her nose into her book.

"I'll play a game of shots with you. I usually win so this could get interesting." James smirked at me. I laughed.

"I always win Potter, so put on your game face."

"Okay I'll get some large amounts of whiskey-"

"-and mead and this charming thing called Jack Daniels. Muggles make it but it's amazing. You gotta have it."

"Alright I'll get the liquor, you get the music, and Remus spread word around to those who wanna party like nutballs!" James pounded the table and we hollered.

This could be fun.

After exams were over, Lily was like a free bird.

"This party is going to be so much fun! I am so excited! You are like the party master!" I busted out laughing.

"Party master, Lily? Really?" Lily smiled sweetly.

"Yeah. You've been to tons so you must teach me the art!" If I hadn't been with her the entire day, I would have said that she had a head start on drinking.

But then, minutes before the party, Lily was a nervous wreck.

"Goodness, this isn't a good idea. What if I throw up on James? What if he thinks I am complete loser? Oh gosh. No, no. This won't turn out well." I smirked but decided not to remind her that she was talking about James.

"Every guy loves to have a party girl." Lily looked up at me, eyes begging for confirmation. I sighed and took one last look in the mirror. Perfection. "Just follow my lead and- when are you going to get changed?" I screeched at her. She looked like she was going to mass. Oh wow.

"I am ready." She mumbled, fumbling with her long skirt. I looked at her appalled that someone would even dress like that.

Hastily, I went over to her dresser and routed threw her drawers.

"Do you have anything even remotely sexy Lils?" I asked her. Her clothes were cute for dates and such but this was a party. The difference was that you gotta be dressed to dance around and flirt with your cleavage. Yes I went there. Finding nice fitting jeans, I went to my dresser and took out a green tank top and tossed it at her.

"Get changed." It didn't really matter that the only difference in our outfits was the color of our tank tops (mine was white). Lily just needed a confidence boaster.

Like I said, she looked amazing in that green tank top. It was a little loose considering the chest difference, but it still looked nice.

"You look hot. I look hot. Let me introduce to my old buddy."

The music was thumping loudly when we opened our door. In the common room, everyone was gyrating, all sweaty. It looked and felt like exams were over, just like it was supposed to. I vaguely noticed that there were people here from other houses before I made my way over to the liquor table.

Truthfully I have been waiting for the moment I would be reunited with fire whiskey ever since our departure in the club. James delivered the Jack Daniels and I almost toppled over.

"James I love you." I said to him. He was standing right next to the liquor table, holding a glass full of Jack Daniels... I could just smell it. We clicked glasses and downed it. Lily stood awkwardly to the side. I pulled out three shot glasses and poured fire whiskey into each of them, handing them off to Lily and James.

"The trick is to just down it in one swallow. When I count to three, tip your shot all the way back, close your eyes, and don't inhale until it goes completely down. Got it?" Lily nodded nervously. James glanced over and smiled at her.

"Okay. One-" James said, nodding to Lily.

"Two-" Lily said feebly.

"Three." I finished. At the same time we all downed our glasses. It was heaven. The hot rush in the back of my throat was amazing and I instantly received a confidence boast.

"So?" I asked Lily. She tried to smile at me. "You loved it. It's cool. I can always share." She laughed out loud, her swagger returning. Good. She can fend on her own.

One quick sweep of the room and I didn't detect Sirius anywhere. Although I said I was over him, I needed a little companionship when it came to actually facing him. My moment of weakness was cut short when James nudged me, two bottles of Jack Daniels in hand.

"This shit is fucking amazing. Let's do shots." Finally some real fun.

James and I headed over to where Remus and Peter sat. James was on one side and I faced him.

"Partygoers!" I hollered at them. They looked at me. "Why aren't you having fun? Loosen up! Exams are over! Have some Jack!" Peter's face pinched up.

"No thanks. James passed around a cup earlier and I nearly vomited. Nobody liked it except him and Sirius." I inwardly flinched at his name. Not that I cared. A few more shots and his name would mean nothing.

"It requires a hardcore taste." James laughed loudly at my defensiveness.

"No fair, Kat. You gotta get some whiskey in to equal the levels."

"Not like it would matter." I grabbed the bottle and took a few, large gulps from the bottle.

I lied. Half of it was gone.

"Shit, Katrina." James said, obviously impressed. Even that amount of liquor had no effect. During my days with the fast crowd, I began to acquire a high level of tolerance. That was my lifestyle for at least a month straight and I couldn't even kick the habit.

"Ready?" I asked him, pouring shots into our glasses. He nodded. On the three count, we each downed it.

And it went on for another fifteen shots.

"Shit." James said, grabbing the table. I hadn't even begun to feel the buzz and James looked ready to topple over.

"Quitting?" I teased him. He looked at me mockingly.

"Please. Give me at least another six shots."

It was actually five when James held up his hands in defeat.

"Okay, you win. You are officially the Queen of Shots." Remus and Peter laughed at James. I giggled and nodded at Peter.

"You game?" I asked him. He shook his head. "Remy?" Okay maybe I was a little buzzed. He smiled.

"Okay one shot. That's it." He stood up. "But one shot of fire whiskey and not this muggle shit." He went over to the liquor table. James wandered over to Lily who seemed quite taken with both the fire whiskey and James.

"So Peter. Getting any action?" He looked a little shocked but I guess he didn't even think of it. Hell, I was buzzed like crazy.

"Sure." He answered easily. Lucky bitch.

"Who?" I asked him, whether I wanted to know just because or because I was bored, I don't know. Was there even a difference?

"Ariana." He answered.

"Isn't she in Slytherin?" Vaguely a conversation between me and Regulus floated in my head, but I couldn't quite get it.

"Yep." Good for you, Peter. Break down these barriers! Show them who's boss!

"Ready?" Remus asked. He poured the shots and we downed them.

He said only two but it was actually more like ten.

"Shit," He mumbled looking at the empty bottle. Okay more like twenty.

Now I was crazy loose.

"PARTY!" I yelled and everyone hollered back. I jumped between two people and danced with them, laughing. I was the friggen cheese in this sandwich. A guy was behind me and-

"Dammit, Kat! This is one hell of a party!" Sandra was the one in front of me. I think Chase was behind me and, with one look and a smirk, I knew it was him. Too quickly, Grynor, another member of the fast crowd, came and stole Sandra away. Chase and I danced for a little, but I was feeling wild. Crazy. I wanted to fly!

"Hey, Katrina," Regulus said to me. Wait. Where the hell did he come from?

"Regulus?" I slurred. Yeah I know this party was open to the whole of Hogwarts but still... Remus wouldn't invite the Slytherins.

"Yeah. Come and meet some friends of mine." I didn't even argue as he dragged me towards a group. "Of course you know Narcissa, Bellatrix, Lucius and Severus." I wondered why a fight didn't break out already. Didn't Sirius hate Severus? Did it matter? God, I was freaking flying. "This is Rabastin," He pointed at some sullen yet handsome dark haired boy. "This is Avery," And yet another handsome boy. Were they actually handsome or did this fire whiskey make everyone fucking gorgeous? "Rodolphus," You can pretty much guess what I am going to say about him and his looks. Stunning. "And Evan." Yep. Good looking too. Damn you, fire whiskey. "And everyone, you know Katrina." Now all they smiled stunningly at me.

"Hey," I said. Maybe a little too loudly. Maybe a little too confidently. Maybe I just don't care. "You having fun?" I asked boldly to the Black sisters.

"But of course." Narcissa replied, always polite even after our showdown in the Three Broomsticks. Wasn't I supposed to be pissed at them? God, I was missing something.

This has happened a lot lately. I'm going to stop my drunken habits!

Not.

"Want a drink?" It was Regulus who asked.

Now for some very odd reason, my answer was -

"No thanks." Despite the fact that I did want more. And I wanted to play shots. Again. But some internal instinct told me to say no. Hell, I don't even know why I am listening to that internal instinct but it also tells me not to drink any other time and look at me now!

A drunken fool.

Hey. Not really. Well the drunken part not the fool part.

"Sure?" Regulus taunted me. I nodded.

"I actually gotta go see Chase for a moment. Be right back." I didn't wait for an answer. I flounced away with no intent on returning. I spotted Chase and for some, very odd reason I... well...

"Hey babe," I slinked my around his neck and kissed him passionately.

And with no lapse in time, he returned my kiss just as hotly.

Good God I have been missing out.

I barely noticed the whoops and hollers from the fast crowd as I pressed my lower body against his and made out with him in the centre of the common room.

Yes, oh God yes.

"Kat," He whispered, one hand tangled in my hair and the other pressed firmly on my lower back.

Like it should be except...

"Yeah?" I whispered back, eyes fluttering, looking at him through my eyelashes, biting my bottom lip and pretending to squirm under his intense gaze. It was the perfect tease and he went for it, diving into another kiss with me.

The common room was spinning which meant it was probably time for me to head upstairs, decidedly alone, but I couldn't pull away from Chase. Not just yet. I needed to feel the closeness that two people can have. I needed to feel his body against me, eternally one, completely erasing these past months. Forgetting all doubt, worry, and troubles that I have succumbed to in the past. So I kept kissing him, in hopes of fulfilling my own promise. I kept kissing him just because I wanted to. At least I tried to tell myself that.

Because drunken or sober, I could not mistake the man in the corner, wrapped up in a girl I somewhat recognized from Hufflepuff. Christina something. He was all over her, his hands slipping down her body, playing tonsil hockey, smiling as she kissed his neck, pressing her hands firmly against his chest. He murmured something into her ear and she nodded, grinning broadly. Soon, they went upstairs.

Complete bullshit. All that stuff about Sirius wanting to wait for the right time? Well hey, it's always a great time to get fucked, drunk, at a party with an equally drunk girl.

Fuck him. Fuck his brother. Like hell I would be affected by that.

And yet...

"Come with me," The implications were clear. Goose bumps rose on my arms as I remembered Sirius' come hither....and other things we did together.

Not now. Definitely not now. Because-

"Sure." This was it. I didn't care how messed up I was. I didn't care that it wasn't Sirius. I didn't even care that I probably wouldn't even remember it.

It was my life and for the first time, I didn't have someone holding me back.

Except I did.

Because as soon as I said it, I blacked out just for a moment.

Thank goodness Lily was right there in a heartbeat. She gave Chase a withering look which he didn't even seem fazed about. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me up.

Good thing too, because then I completely passed out this time.

Maybe I should just stop drinking.

The thought was unlikely, yet it was a frequent one when I woke up this morning, head throbbing. Lily seemed in a slightly better state. She handed me a red, thick drink that burned as it went down. It was also absolutely disgusting.

"Heals the headache. Turns out that there is a hangover potion. It's just something they wouldn't put in school books." She smiled slightly and for once I knew she wasn't going to yell at me. That would be hypocritical. She looked like she partied hard last night, but I somehow got the feeling that I partied more, which was not a pleasant thought. At least I could remember most of it.

I could remember saying yes to Chase, and oddly I don't even regret it. Maybe I would if I had actually done it, but still. It's bound to happen soon.

"I kissed James last night." Lily confessed. I gaped at her. That actually seemed better than the dumbass choices I made. Hanging with the Slytherins? Good God. How come I couldn't sense danger?

Don't even answer that.

"And...?" I egged her on. She pinched her eyes shut and groaned.

"God, Kat. It was the best fucking kiss of my life. Jesus Christ it was amazing." I had a feeling that it wasn't a peck on the lips and Lily's face confirmed said suspicions. But she looked at me and smirked. "So tell me about Chase." I snorted.

"You saw." I answered simply. I could still feel his warm hands roving my wanting body.

"Yes. As did everyone in the room. Not that you minded. I would have said get a room, but you seemed well on your way. That it is, before you passed out."

Now that I think about it, I definitely wouldn't have regretted it. My body was craving for Chase's hot touch.

Fucking A.

"Want to get some breakfast?" I looked at the clock. "Or lunch?" She nodded and waited as I got a hot shower and threw on some clothes. I looked like every person who was at the party no doubted resembled: a hot mess.

Huh. I don't understand what's so hot about it. I look like shit and I didn't actually wash off last night's make up.

But it's lunch... who the hell cares?

And yes, every person from the party was finally getting up. And I noticed a dark haired girl leave our common room. That is, until someone called after her.

"Christina!" Sirius yelled. He rushed over to her and handed her a necklace she probably forgot on purpose. She smiled and took it, planting a fiery kiss he returned. I couldn't but snort.

Lily bit back her smile.

Old Katrina was definitely back.

I walked passed slowly and said, very loudly to Lily, "How much do you want to bet that this lasts for the next three days?"

"I'd say about ten galleons." I nodded.

"Good one. I'll put in ten too." We giggled and hurried out of the common room and practically ran towards the Great Hall.

Chase was sitting with the rest of the fast crowd who showed signs of last night's party... just like the rest of the hall. Damn. Was it that good?

Remus, James and Peter were eating light. Peter finally let loose after the Slytherin's arrival. James looked up at our arrival.

"Excellent party last night, Katrina. It was amazing." He smiled at Lily but didn't say anything about the kiss. Weird because the James Potter would be bragging incessantly.

But no.

Shock was clearly plastered on Lily's face. No, scratch that, EXTREME SHOCK.

"Uh James?" Lily asked him, trying hard to actually ask him without actually asking. Confused? No need.

"Yes, Lily. I know, I know. You made a mistake. No problem." But the look on the face said it was a problem. That it did hurt.

Lily's features softened.

Yep. More than friends.

"No it's okay James." She whispered. He looked at her. And I mean really looked at her. The kind I've always wanted to receive. It was so intimate and personal, that I looked away leaving them to their troubles.

"So did you enjoy the party guys?" I asked Peter and Remus.

"Remind me to never drink that many shots with you." Remus flinched, rubbing his temples. I laughed, but that kind of hurt.

"It was only one bottle."

"I dare say you probably drank about seventy percent of the liquor. Good God. You are the Queen of Shots." Remus sighed. Peter snickered. You know, I was really starting to like Peter.

"Best party ever in Hogwarts history." Yep. If Remus ever started to hate me again, I'd enlist Peter as my new best friend. "Everyone will never start talking about this one."

Someone came in and sat beside me. It was so normal that I almost said hey. But then I forgot that he and I are broken up.

But that didn't stop Sirius.

"Thanks for the comment back there." He said to me, almost politely but his grey eyes were fuming. "Maybe next time you could be just a tad louder."

"Oh I can be louder. All you got to do is ask." Dammit Kat! Don't get all sultry with him! As if it would even work!

Sirius snorted.

"Jealous much?" He asked. I gripped my fork so hard that I wanted to stab him in the chest.

Lily, the ever awesome and amazing best friend that she totally is, cut right in.

"Why would she be jealous of her?" Lily answered. "She's a step down from Kat with that hideous, limp hair. Her body is totally out of proportion and her chest looks like it belongs to a five year old." Wow. Holy shit. "Besides, she has Chase who can feed her desires anyway she wants." I hid my laughter. Oh shit. No, _this_ is the reason Lily and I are best friends. "Unlike you." She added with a sigh.

"Lily, again, if I was playing for the other time, I would melt with you right now." She burst out laughing, and James looked at her fondly. Sirius, on the other hand, wasn't going to take shit lying down.

"At least she can please me." That was like a slap in the face. As a matter of fact-

WHAM!

Sirius flinched and looked at me through angry eyes. I leaned in close and whispered words only he could hear.

"Fuck you. Actually, I tried. You were just too cowardly." He flinched again and I left.

Yep. Old Katrina was definitely back. Considering the way I have been acting without thinking that is definite proof.

Yet, thinking about it now that was really harsh and uncalled for.

Really, really harsh.

But he deserved it... right?

Great. Now I am resorting to answering to myself.

But it also got me thinking that well... I didn't get sick around Sirius just then. I didn't feel weird or anything. It was completely confusing because two weeks ago I thought I had an illness called Sirius-itis. But now... maybe it was food poisoning. Maybe I was so pissed at my hurt pride that I blamed it all on Sirius. The more I thought about it, the more likely it seemed. And it was even more likely that I needed to be on break with him more now than ever because I thought I loved him but how can I be sure, when he was the only one I ever loved?

* * *

So right, it's kind of like déjà vu for me right now. I'm on my way to Lily's for the summer, and I am currently in a dark compartment, entangled with Chase Werth.

Just like before Christmas vacation.

Chase and I have been kissing incessantly since this morning when the train first got here, no before that... we shared a carriage so it started then. And it wasn't getting boring anytime soon, believe me, but I had to break it up. I had things to put in order before I got off the train.

"I'll be right back," I whispered. We were standing and I was against the door. I've been trying to break away from him for the past fifteen minutes, but each time, his kisses tempt me back.

"Come back," He answered me, holding me tightly to him. Now if I didn't know any better, I would say Chase has changed since the time I first got to know him. I wouldn't necessarily call him clingy, but he didn't want to let me go. Last time, he just shrugged it off.

"Okay," I giggled at him, planting a few kisses on his pouting lips. I left the compartment in search for Remus. I didn't know if he was going to join me at some point during the holiday, but I at least wanted to see him before he goes.

Unfortunately, he was in the same compartment as the other Marauders, which included Sirius.

Ugh!

"Hey guys," I could have been a total bitch and said hi to only James, Remus, and Peter... but that would have been too obvious.

"What's up Kat?" It was Peter who spoke and smiled.

"Ah nothing. Just thought I say goodbye before the train arrived." I thought I should leave out the fact that I was currently busy with Chase.

Everyone was silent, exchanging looks.

"What's up?" I asked the room. Remus was the one who spoke in an amused tone.

"We are going to the same place." He answered me.

Huh.

"Okay. Is there anything else I don't know?" You know, every time I bring this subject up, I always get some more surprises.

But at least Remus and Peter are going. God only knows what it would have been like just hanging out with James and Sirius... shudders.

"Not really." Remus smiled.

"Okay so I don't have to say goodbye?" I asked, standing.

"Oh Kat, don't be mad." James said in a worried tone. I laughed at me.

"I'm not mad. God, this summer is going to rock! But this was a waste of trip." I answered him. James raised his eyebrows.

"Got something better to do?" He asked me, assessing my appearance. Subconsciously, I straightened me skirt.

"Actually yes." I thought I shouldn't correct his something to someone.

"Okay, I'll be devastated when you leave." James said, snickering.

"My heart goes out to you." And with that, I bolted back to Chase's compartment, where he was sitting with a few members from the fast crowd, Sandra, Grynor, and some kid named Mac.

"Hey babe," Chase greeted me with a kiss, pulling me into his lap. Sandra smiled at me.

"What are you going to do during the summer, Kat?" Sandra asked me.

"Definitely hitting some clubs, hanging out on the beach, not doing a damn thing. What about you?"

"We're actually thinking of getting together in July. Near Bristol?" Hmm... that wasn't far. As a matter of fact, I could probably take the train there... huh...

"That sounds like fun. What are you thinking of?" Sandra smiled widely.

"Okay we are going to take a week of vacation there, hit all the good clubs, and rent out a couple of hotel rooms because everyone is in. Plus I hear the shopping there is awesome."

"One problem: Aren't we under aged in the muggle world?" My birthday was a month away. It's the big one seven! 17!

"Yes, but not in the wizarding world. We can create fake IDs with our magic." She has really thought this through. "So do you want to come? You have to! Who else am I going to go shopping with?" She kept smiling at me and I couldn't help but agree. Hell it was only a week! Plus, I need people who can keep up with me and my partying ways. Except I wanted one thing.

Just one.

As Chase and I said our goodbyes on the platform, I whispered in his ear, "Make sure we get our own room."

Chase grinned at me and pulled me into a passionate kiss.

"Absolutely."

* * *

Aw shit! Here we go!

Thank you my lovely Beta Reader, Zoe, for being awesome and sending me this chapter before my first day of school and while I was filling out college applications. You know, they say that you don't need to have an essay when you apply online but...I've bullshitted two already soo....yeah. This isn't fun. Every essay is really nerve racking and I was almost to the point of chewing off my fingernails. Like good God! Who knew writing about yourself could be so complicated???!

And to my reviewers: of course you always have my love and thank you so much for telling me about my chapters. I really do hope that I cleared up confusion. If not, I'll PM you...sound good?

lovelovelove,

Megg


	22. And so the Kat Becomes the Tiger

"This is Peppermint Schnapps." I smiled at a beach babe and swallowed the shot. It burned a little and had a nice after taste.

"Nice." I whispered.

It was the third day of summer vacation and I was sitting in a bar with some older man. He said he was twenty-five, but I forget. All I care about is the high I get whenever I drink. But he was hot with cropped blonde and brown hair, tan skin, and hazel eyes. I think his name was Loren.

"Hey, Loren?" I called to him after my sixteenth shot of this muggle shit. And if you didn't figure it out, Loren was a muggle.

"Yes Tracey?" I didn't really feel comfortable about giving out my regular name. I was three towns away from Lily's area so there was no danger of him actually seeing me again after tonight.

"Let's get out of here." He complied and took me back to his apartment where I am sure you know what happens.

And good GOD was it ever amazing. Sirius once said I wasn't ready but guess what? I was more than ready. It was an abstract plan of mine; to lose my virginity to someone I had no feelings for. It actually worked. You know the feeling, when you say something to someone you really care about, and the next day it's like completely awkward? Imagine if you had your first with that person... try awkward times a billion.

So I lost it to some surfer babe named Loren and I was under the influence... not that I even cared. It was fucking amazing which makes my trip with Chase that much more exciting.

After leaving Loren's house silently that morning and arriving at Lily's, I was immediately bombarded with questions.

"Where the hell have you been? I was worried sick! What the hell did you do? Who were you with? Katrina... GOD!" Lily paced back and forth in front of me as my head screamed for some painkillers and a cup of coffee.

"Lily, chill out. I crashed at some muggle's place a few minutes away." A few? Yeah right. Try walking forty-five minutes with a head-splitting hangover and cramps. Oh yeah. Dead sexy!

"Who?" Lily asked, looking at my appearance more closely. Trying not to look guilty, I just shrugged and looked away, sipping coffee. Luckily, she was cut off by a loud knocking at the back door. With one look, Lily walked away and opened the door. And this is where it gets awkward.

"Hey Lily," yelled James, who was in swimming trunks. The other three was waiting on the deck, all in swimming outfits. "You ready?" James asked. I looked at Lily and noticed her green bikini beneath her cover up.

"Hold on, James. I am talking to Kat. Guess who didn't come home last night?" Good God LIL! WHY ARE GIVING OUT MY PRIVATE LIFE?

"Kat?" James asked incredulous. He looked at me, assessing my appearance. I had an inkling that Lily was going to make a big deal out of this, so I turned to her and cut her off immediately.

"Lils, it's nothing. I couldn't very well stumble home all by myself. So I met up with a couple of girls and crashed at her house." How unlikely is this story?

"Uh-huh," was all Lily's reply. I sighed and made my way upstairs but Lily yelled back at me from the living room. "Get your bathing suit on!"

Of course. The first day we go swimming and I have ungodly cramps and a fucking headache.

I stumbled into my room, grabbed my bikini and went into the bathroom to take a shower and to brush away the morning breath. It took me like thirty minutes and I was soon outside in the blinding sun.

When were those painkillers going to kick in?

"Hey Kat," Remus said to me. At least I didn't have to worry about everyone looking a little too closely at me.

"Hey Remy," I laid on the towel beside the pool and put on my sunglasses.

"Lily told us about your disappearance."

I sighed. I couldn't escape this. Maybe I should just tell Remus. He would understand... right?

"And apparently you left with a group of girls. Lily is raving." I give up.

Like Jesus. I can't even keep a secret around here.

Sitting up and pulling off my sunglasses, I looked around me before meeting Remus' eyes.

"What I say here does not get repeated. Ever. Got it bud?" Remus nodded and I sighed. "I didn't go home with a group of girls. Truth is, I got drunk three towns over and went home with some bloke who is about eight years older." Remus just nodded and urged me to go on. I shrugged. "And you know." I finished, laying back down and putting back on my sunglasses.

"Kat you... you... did it?" Remus said very loudly. Was it so effing shocking that I, Katrina Heartfaw, had sex with some random bloke?

By the look on Remus' face, it was.

"Yeah, Remus. Thanks for the support."

"No it's just... I don't know. Surprising? This isn't like you." I snorted.

"Whatever. I had sex with some random dude. It's over and done with." I closed my eyes and tried to soak up some sun but-

"YOU WHAT?" Lily screeched from right in front of me. I was speechless. When did she find out...?

I looked at Remus who looked just as shocked. Lily took off my glasses and looked at me furiously.

"Excuse me?" I mustered. James, Sirius, and Peter exchanged glances. Please don't yell... Please, please, please don't yell.

"YOU HAD SEX AND DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME?" I hate you too God.

"Uh, thanks Lily." I growled and stood up, stalking back to the house.

"No, don't get mad at me. Why didn't you tell me?" Lily asked, still angry.

"Because this is how you would react." I answered.

"Well, you didn't bother to tell me and I had to overhear this? Wow. Great friend." Back that up.

"So, yeah Lils, thanks for fucking screaming it to the whole neighborhood. And by the way, stop being a hypocrite. You get with guys all the time. How did you lose your virginity?" She opened her mouth but I stopped her. "The correct answer is that I, your best friend, doesn't know." I stormed off, though the house, grabbing my purse, and exiting through the front door. It was only eleven in the morning but something tells me that this is the time Loren would be getting up.

And I was right.

"Thought you left," He mumbled, clearly hung over.

"Had to get a change of clothes." I answered, shrugging. He stepped aside and let me in. He snaked his arm around my waist.

"Why? They're coming off anyway."

Good God this guy never gets bored.

* * *

When I returned to Lily's house later that night, I was surprised to find her and the Marauders huddled in the living room. This time, Loren gave me a ride to the local market so I didn't have to walk as far. He believed some bullshit about my parents being really strict so I had to come home alone.

As if.

Lily looked at me and sighed.

"If you're going to do it, at least be discreet. Like fix your hair." Of all the retorts that I could have thought of, the one I actually reply with was just so degrading.

"Lily I just got finished with him in his car." I stopped and smacked myself on the head. Shut up Heartfaw!

"Nice," Remus snickered at me.

Remember when I said it would have been awkward to lose you virginity to someone you have to face every day? I lied. It's even more awkward having to face someone you once loved with him knowing that you lost it to some random dude.

And Sirius' eyes were staring intensely at me.

Well... you did have the chance.

"I'm getting a shower." I said and practically ran up the stairs.

After my shower, the Marauders were gone and Lily was sitting on my bed in my room.

"So listen... I am sorry for jumping to conclusions earlier. I was just worried sick and then you just showed up, all dishevelled and I thought the worst, you know? But then again, I never suspected you'd willingly give it up. I thought that you would at least do it with Sirius but he didn't budge, although he was interested in the dirty details... details I really want to know." She giggled and looked at me. I felt a faint blush creeping up.

Oh no. Oh no, no, no. This is the part where she wants to know who, and how hard, how hot, and... oh no.

"Uh..." I started, not exactly sure where to begin. "Well he's twenty-five and extremely hot. We were drinking at a bar and then I asked to go to his place where we did it. And then I returned there earlier where we went at it again. Yep." I nodded my head.

"Back up. I want the very, very dirt details. Like was he rough or gentle? How big?" OH GOD! SHUT UP!

"Uh... uh... let's not." I replied, feeling very uncomfortable. I smiled sheepishly and Lily caught on.

"Okay, okay. But this is your get out of jail free card. Next time, you better tell me all the disgusting details, got it?" I just nodded.

For some odd reason, I dreamt of Sirius and me that night. It was the same exact one I had on the train, except maybe a little more fierce.

It was enough to wake with a start at six in the morning.

"Ugh," I groaned, pulling myself out of bed. At least I only had two more weeks until my birthday, and then another two weeks before I meet up with the fast crowd. I rolled over and went back to sleep.

But apparently, my mind decided to have me dream about Sirius.

"Regret it at all?" He asked me. I wasn't really expecting this but this was Sirius. He was pretty much unpredictable... even in my dreams.

"No," I answered him truthfully, meeting his intense gaze.

"Oh," was his awkward reply. Silence.

"Sirius, I get that you don't befriend your exes, but for the sake of this trip, let's not be complete assholes to each other." He looked at me and chuckled.

"Fine by me. Just don't go rubbing your affairs in my face. I don't do the jealous girlfriend type." I gaped at him.

"You think this was all about you?" He raised his eyebrows at my tone. "You self righteous bastard! How dare you! It wasn't even about you." Huh. Liar. It was so about him. Well, partly. It was to regain my lost pride.

"Really? Was it about the pleasure?" Again, of all the things I could have responded with, what I gave him was humiliating.

"But of course. Jesus, God in heaven, it was exhilarating," And I sighed loudly and shook my head. It was exhilarating.

Sirius laughed loudly and looked at me through amused eyes.

"I understand that part." Do you ever, buddy. "But, come on Kat. You didn't do it with anyone else and plenty were willing." That small voice in my head responded with 'not you.' I cringed. That much was true.

"It was just something I wanted to do. I would never see him again so hey... no harm done." I shrugged it off, but Sirius didn't let it go.

"Right, so you did it because you just wanted to lose it to some random guy?" I was growing frustrated by his inquiring.

"Why do you care? This was nothing to do with you." He narrowed his eyes at me.

"I still care about you. You may have went out to a club, lied to everyone, made out with my brother, and then acted like nothing was wrong but I still care about you." Shit. I softened under his gaze and exhaled.

"Okay. I am sorry that I lied to you. Really, really sorry. But it just got so complicated and heady. Every time we were alone it was like, 'fuck me please, touch me there,' and you never complied. It got out of hand fast." I don't know how I expected him to react but I didn't really think he would laugh so hard.

I stared at him menacingly.

Or at least I tried too.

"What?" I asked, thinking of what I just said. Was there anything wrong with that?

"Oh, Kat." He sighed, still grinning. "'Fuck me please, touch me there'? 'Never complied?' If memory serves right I did try, remember?" Oh God. Here comes that sick feeling.

"If my memory serves right, you were doing it out of spite, to show me I wasn't ready... which was some damned bullshit because I was so more than ready."

"Oh yeah. Because, you know, if you were so ready we would have done it right then and there." The look Sirius was giving me made every nerve stand on end. It was like... holy shit! I crossed my legs, trying to look away, but his gaze was so impossibly sexy I couldn't.

Forget it. No one was hotter than Sirius Black. Hell, I wanted him to have his way with me right here, right now, on the deck, and considerably very roughly.

And with that look, he was telling me that I probably wouldn't walk straight for days.

"Uh huh," was all I could muster. Take a deep, deep, deep, (OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD) breath. Inhale, exhale.

I choked on the exhale and started coughing randomly, yet his gaze never wavered.

Why couldn't he be as feisty as this when we were dating? LIKE JESUS EFFIN CHRIST! It's like when we break up, Sirius pulls out the sexy, I'm going to do you now, however I like look, but when we are dating, he gets all soft. Literally.

Oh sweet, sweet Merlin and Jesus. At this rate, I was going to go back to Loren and let him have his way with me. Again.

"How much did you like it?" Sirius asked me. Oh. Oh. Just ooohhh. I tried to keep my face passive but come on... how can you stay calm when an extraordinarily hot ex boyfriend that you're still sort of into just turned you on? I didn't even think that was his intention, but hell... it worked. I clenched my teeth to keep from giving away my intense pleasure.

Sweet God.

"Come on, Kat. Tell me how much you liked it." I'm having this intense fantasy with him on top, roughly I must add, demanding me to tell him that I like it.

I shifted my legs, fiddled with my shorts hem, and swallowed every two seconds.

"Kitty." He taunted me. Yup. He was doing this on purpose.

And then, he reached out and placed a hand on my exposed knee and squeezed.

Ehhh.

It was like every muscle in my body was spazing! I was having a mental orgasm!

JESUS CHRIST!

"You know what I think?" He said to me, with that still sexy gaze. Yummy. I could eat him. "I think you liked it just a little more than you should have. As a matter of fact, I think you enjoyed it so much that you want to do it again."

I want to do you is actually the correct way to phrase this.

Oh. Oh. OH MY FREAKING GOD!

It was almost painful, not giving in to this intense desire.

Correction: It was excruciating. At this point, if Regulus Black asked me to do him, I would. That is how desperate I am. I could maybe walk to Loren's... but it was so far. So, so far.

But I am new at this, so please, God, forgive my actions. Lust was controlling me.

"You're right, Sirius." I leaned forward, showing a lot more cleavage. Sirius barely looked down but he still glanced. I mirrored his action by placing my hand on his knee. Our faces were within inches of each other. Inches. "It was intensely pleasurable." I slid my hand to his thigh and squeezed. Sirius looked down slowly, assessing my cleavage and hand, smirking at me.

"You shouldn't come onto me, you know." He said.

"Shut up." I commanded him. His eyes widened in shock and he looked at me in a different way. "For once, can you at least go with it?" I said to him, inching my hand closer and closer to...

"Once. Just once."

Sirius pulled me into his lap and I found him very excited. Very, very excited. He took no time to put his hands in my shirt. I moaned very softly as he kissed my neck. It was so amazing and I was on top of the world! Soon, Sirius' hands slipped lower and lower, inside the elastic of my shorts and inside...

Oh God, the feeling was so much better than anything in the world. It was indescribable, this kind of pleasure. And Sirius was a pro.

"Sirius," I said through gritted teeth. I grabbed some of his gorgeous hair and bit into his shoulder as a hot rush of pleasure rolled over me. I breathed loudly and shallowly afterwards, looking at him. His intense look returned and for once in my life, I knew what he wanted.

I kissed his lips softly. Then his neck, his exposed chest. I was on my knees in front of him, one hand rubbing a thigh, while the other undid his zipper. Like I said, he was really, really excited (and large). Oh God. I was probably going to choke or something. Freaking Christ, why did you have to go ahead and offer this? Why couldn't you just accept his little offering and go on with it? Look what you did! YOU ARE GOING TO CHOKE ON HIS EXTREMELY LARGE... ahem.

"Katrina," He said, grabbing fistfuls of my hair and pushing my head down faster. Well, I wasn't doing that bad. I think. And then, well, boom.

BOOM!

I didn't really choke but it wasn't the best taste in the world. And I didn't know what to do with it so... I swallowed.

In a swift motion, Sirius kicked his chair back and kissed me fiercely, pushing me to the ground. His hands were on my hips, practically tearing my clothes off.

God I had waited for this moment.

It was going to be so amazing. I arched my back, bringing him closer to me.

Here it comes. Here it-

"AH!" I woke up from this dream, shaking all over and sweating profusely. The dream was so vivid, so real that I felt as if we were actually on his back deck.

My heart was accelerating, and my entire body was soaked to the core. Still shaking, I got out of bed and trembled to the shower.

My God.

That was something more than intense.

When I got out, Lily was up and ready for a day at the pool again. She smiled at me.

"Good morning. Sweet dreams?" Oh no. SHE KNEW! She knew that I fantasized about Sirius twice in one night! Oh no.

Wait. Play it cool. Let her come to you.

"What? No. No. Nothing sweet about nightmares." Wow. Way to play it cool. Lily raised her eyebrows. "Nightmares aren't sweet. They are menacing. Ruthless. Rough." You are such an effing idiot, Kat. Can you be even more obvious?

"I give. What's up?"

"Nothing," I jerked. Seriously? Get over it.

"Katrina." Lily said in her motherly tone. She reached out and touched me but I jumped in response. Damn it all to hell!

There was a knock on the front door. You know, I should probably pay James for all the times he saved me from almost spilling the beans. But then again, every time, he has to bring his bestest friend in the whole entire fucking world: Sirius Black.

He didn't actually look at me, but I could not get the dream out of my mind.

"Hey Kat." James waved at me. I flinched. Sirius called me Kat in my dreams... right as I sucked on his...

GOOD GOD!

"Um," I awkwardly said, visibly squirming. Shit. Shit. SHIT!

"You okay?" He asked, clearly worried. DO I look okay? Can you perhaps tell your best friend to leave the room before I have a mental orgasm? Please God I am begging you to end this torture and I will attend mass when I can.

"She's probably flustered by my appearance is all." Sirius said in a mocking and amused tone but... it was heaven.

What did I just ask for Jesus? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO EFFING CRUEL????

"Uh huh." Real fucking smart Kat. Looks like we are on our own here.

"Seriously. Is there something wrong with her?" James asked Lily. Well I guess we passed the part where we try to talk to me.

"I don't know. She was like this when she came down this morning."

"Probably some side effect after losing it to some random person."

He did NOT just go there.

"Jealous, Sirius?" I asked in a shockingly calm voice. Don't look at me. Please, God, don't look at me.

He looked at me.

Why do I even bother praying to you?

"Why would I be?" He cocked his head and smirked. I smirked as well.

"Because someone who wasn't you had sex with me and I think that you are a little more than envious. Tsk, tsk." I shook my head and slithered past them, out the door.

Of course, Sirius followed.

"Why would I want to have you?" He asked, trying to hurt me. And he succeeded but was I going to let him know that?

"Wow, Sirius. Great comeback. Actually it would have been great if maybe it were true."

"How would you know? I never had sex with you. I always refused. Did you actually believe that bullshit about waiting? Please. If I was so interested in waiting, why did I fuck someone else right after we broke up?"

Ouch-ie.

"God, Sirius, don't act as if you were playing me. Please. You were a coward. You couldn't bed me. It's not 'you wouldn't' it's more like 'you couldn't'."

"I would never want to be with you." He said through gritted teeth.

"That's fine. Because I can have sex with plenty of guys. And all of them are real men. Ones who like it rough and who like blow jobs. So go suck on that."

I dived into the pool, hiding my near hysteria.

None of it was true. He was only saying it to get under my skin. And yet, it worked.

When I surfaced, Sirius was still on the edge of the pool, staring down at me.

"Real men, huh? You did one guy."

"Are you still going on about this? And yeah, I did one guy. But one guy was enough for me to conclude that he was a real man. He never turned me down when I offered him something." I wanted to add something precious but I couldn't. I didn't really believe I was a gift anymore.

"He's an asshole! He used you for sex!" I'm a little more than confused.

"I used him!" I retorted. Wasn't Sirius saying something about me not being worthy enough for him?

"No, Kat, he used you! You probably batted your eye lashes, smiled cutely, drank with him. You were drunk during your first time!" Aw! Sirius really did know me!

"I wanted to be drunk my first time," I said stupidly. Well, it was true. Actually, I was half drunk. Not even half. I was just buzzed.

"Nice, Kat." He snorted, shaking his head.

"Why are you acting like you care?" I shot at him. I really thought I had him. But... no. He widened his eyes in shock and practically gaped at me.

"Act?" He whispered to me. "Not an act, Kat." He had a painful expression that almost made my heart melt. Almost.

I was through with those sappy love days.

"Yeah? If you did care, you'd stop harassing me about this. I mean..." I exhaled. This was hard but Sirius never wavered. "Sirius, we are done. And it's no use for us to have this hostile battle. Let's just get over it and call it quits. You slept with someone and I did too. It's life. We move on. Okay?" Sirius squeezed his eyes shut and breathed slowly.

"Is this what you want? To just move on from each other?" He sounded so hurt. I felt so incredibly bad for doing this to him-

Knock it off and just do it.

"Yes. We have to." I replied, trying to keep my voice even.

"We don't have to. I still want you and I promise..." He sighed again, closing his eyes. "I promise that I'll make it worth your while." I nearly gasped and said yes.

Nearly being the operative word.

Because I just couldn't do that to him.

"Don't do this to yourself. It's me. I need some freedom and I need to explore. I can't actually know if you're the one for me if I've only loved you." Sirius looked at me intensely.

"Can we compromise or something here? I can't just leave you."

"Compromise?" I asked him. He nodded.

"Listen, go explore. Go have your fun and I'll have mine. Just come back to me. That's all I want. Even if you don't want me after all those guys, just give me a fair shot."

"I think you forget," Because it was a fair deal. I was about to give in too. "I hurt you. I lied to you and everyone else. Hello? Remember?" Sirius chuckled.

"Most unfortunately I do remember. I am over it. It's a thing of the past."

"I'm sorry." It was the past but I felt compelled to say it.

"Just give me the fair shot." It wasn't unreasonable. But...

"Why?" Get this answer right and I'll know. Sirius gave me a bewildered expression.

"Why? Because I love you."

* * *

I'm going to leave it at that for now. Meghan is very very tired and has a ton of homework....and it was only my first day back. God. Senior year. It's supposed to be easy and yet I have three books I gotta read in like a week.

Go me!

Anywayz, thank you so much for the reviews! You guys are amazing! ANd thank you Zoe! I will chat later...but my bed is calling.

lovelovelove,

Megg


	23. Its My Birthday & I Can Cry If I Want To

As you probably know, I am not one for the sappy love shit. It just makes me uncomfortable and embarrassed and a lot of other things. Mostly, it's unnecessary. If you love someone, you really don't need as those freaking comparisons. Like he's my sun. Or he's Romeo and I'm Juliet.

Getting the picture?

And I've tried so hard... so effing hard, just to get over this. I'm not even lying. Hell, I went out, had sex with some dude. I am going to have sex with Chase Werth whether I want to or not (but I want to). It just has to happen. In my mind, I need to be absolute sure. And of course, my mind is severely messed up....what kind of girl thinks like this? Shouldn't she be all 'I'm worth waiting for'? I've been over that. But what I'm not over is Sirius.

It irks me so much. I was so convinced that he makes me deathly ill and yet that was my stupid pride (and some bad pie). I went off, got drunk, kissed his brother, got caught, and he dumped me. And yet, Sirius was asking for another chance. Am I not getting something here? Isn't it supposed to be me begging for a second chance? Me, telling Sirius, that I love you, and I swear to God I'll make it worth your while? But he was kneeling there, with those intense grey eyes, begging and pleading to just give him a fair shot! There was definitely more to Sirius Black than meets the eye. He was an amazing guy, someone who can make any girl happy.

Which is why I gave him this answer.

"And I love you too." I stated this in a tone that clearly said there was more coming. "But I'm not going to do that to you. And you deserve so much better than me. So, I'll make this decision for you: no."

"Understood." And he walked away. Good thing too because I started bawling my eyes out the instant he left.

Believe me; it's not that I didn't want him. It's more him needing someone who isn't me. I'm not the same person I was back in September. I am more edgy, I care less, I drink excessively, and for some odd reason, I just want to have sex. And once upon a time, Sirius was just like me. He treated girls the way I treated him. But I can't be like him. I won't just let him have hope when I know I'll turn around and hurt him.

True love rips you open, tears you apart, and leaves a gaping hole where your heart should be. And right now, I needed that hole to heal and not have it grow bigger.

* * *

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Lily and Remus woke me up the morning of June 16th, with streamers... of all things. The first thing I did as a seventeen year old was:

"Levicorpus!" Remus was hanging upside down by his ankle. Instead of getting mad at me, he just chuckled.

"James should have never taught you that trick."

"Well, you shouldn't wake people up at effing six in the morning!" It's like people don't understand that summer is for sleeping and slacking off.

"Well there goes your present." Remus huffed. I instantly brightened.

"Presents!" I squealed as I scrambled out of bed. There was a large pile near the end of my bed.

Mark sent me another charm for my charm bracelet. That smartass sent me a very well detailed bottled of fire whiskey. I hooked it on my bracelet and laughed. He knew me too well. My parents sent me clothes, as usual, some muggle books, and some galleons. Five hundred to be exact.

"Somebody is going birthday shopping," Lily mumbled when she saw the pouch. True. I was going birthday shopping in Bristol though.

Lily handed me her gift which consisted of the cutest leather jacket in history.

And it fit like a glove.

"I fucking love this." Maybe it would make me look even sexier.

Remus got me black leather boots, which was shocking because I didn't even know he knew what size I was. Or that I liked leather.

"Lily helped me. I was lost this year." He smirked.

I was surprised about the next two gifts. Chase, lovely Chase, sent me two bottles of fire whiskey (I'll pay him in kind), and silver necklace with a small but adorable diamond, and a note signed by him and Sandra.

Knocking from downstairs disrupted me from reading it. Lily perked up and pranced out.

James was probably there. Remus shook his head and started cleaning up the mess.

While I opened the last present, which was a small velvet box, I didn't know who it was from at first.

But it was... breathtaking to say the least.

In every woman's life, she wants to open up a ring box and see some big diamond. I opened up a box and found a simple silver band with the saying 'never say never' encrusted inside. It wasn't flashy but I, and I alone, knew what this was about.

And I shouldn't put it on.

BUT IT LOOKS SO GOOD ON ME!

Just take it off, TAKE IT OFF!

I can't. I am powerless to this kind of gift. In all fairness, I'd say Sirius tricked me. I mean, he knows I can't say no to jewellery.

Dammit Kat, you are pathetic!

I know.

"Are you okay Kat?" Remus asked in a worried tone.

Suck it up Kat. Pretend like it's nothing.

"I'm fine." I smiled and ran a hand through my hair. Remus walked over to me.

"Let's see that charm bracelet again." Remus meticulously looked at each charm. Then, he scanned my face.

"Do you know what kind of animals the others are?" Remus whispered looking over his shoulder. Out of all the questions I could have been asked on my special day, this was not one of them.

"No." I answered, confused. "Why?" Remus sighed and shrugged, walking away. "Why?" I repeated.

"Nothing."

Of course I wasn't getting anything out of him.

So I went downstairs and greeted James who was talking to Lily.

"Hey Lils, Remus needs you." I lied. I just needed to know this. It's like Pandora's Box... once it's open, you can't take it back. And I am so curious about why Remus decided to ask me now, of all times, if I knew what animals the Marauders were.

"Happy Birthday," James said.

"Yeah, thanks. So what kind of animagi are you?" I asked, cutting to the chase. James looked taken aback, but he didn't miss a beat.

"Well, I'm a stag." He answered.

"And the others?" I asked impatiently. James peered at me.

"Why do you wanna know?"

"I just do." I answered simply. James sighed.

"Peter is rat," Okay. "And Sirius is a dog."

"Oh." How unoriginal. Considering that Sirius is the Dog Star and... well, actually it was pretty clever.

"Yeah. He kind of looks like the dog on your charm bracelet." He answered with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"What are you-" I immediately grabbed the charm and stared it. Of course I thought nothing of it when Mark first got it for me. It was just another charm for my bracelet but suddenly it has me thinking...

Like should fate have it that I got this charm, out of all the other charms? Mark could have gotten me a freaking phoenix, which is my favorite animal, and yet he got me a dog.

A black dog, with silver eyes.

The animal Sirius changes into for Remus.

As in Sirius Black, the man I loved. (Please note the past tense)

Sirius Black, the man whose heart I definitely broke.

"Nice ring, by the way." James winked at me.

Great.

I have a ring from Sirius, a charm that looks like Sirius... is there anything else I have that will remind me of him?

"Remus didn't want me." Lily said, stalking downstairs, holding my leather jacket. "This is what I got her." She smiled brightly and James laughed loudly.

I have a feeling this would be something Sirius related.

"Sirius has a leather jacket too."

"I'm going into town." I said, storming up the stairs.

Like, COME ON! It's my FUCKING birthday and I have to deal with Sirius today?

Not going to happen. Not now dammit.

I took my shower, pulled on a white sundress and flip flops and walked downstairs...

To see Sirius waiting for me.

All by himself.

With red tulips.

"Happy Birthday," He whispered, unsmiling. He was intense today, something I took some joy out of it. It's his sexy side.

He handed me the red tulips and our fingers touched, sending shivers down my spine.

He stared into my eyes as his hand gently touched the ring. His ring.

We were within inches of each other, heat flowing between us, making my heart flutter a million miles an hour and-

Stop this.

"Thank you for the gift." I said, looking down and fixing my dress. "And the flowers." I coughed a little, smiled slightly, twirled my hair, and played with my charm bracelet.

"You're welcome." He answered slowly, assessing my every action.

"Right. I'm going into town." I walked towards the kitchen and put my flowers in the vase, shaken by his choice.

Red tulips meant undying love.

I wanted to cry out of frustration but I couldn't. Does nobody care that it's my birthday?

This is misery, having to be reminded of Sirius every second of the day. So I did the cowardly thing and snuck out the back door but not before noticing that Sirius was already on James' deck, walking in his back door.

I ignored all guilty feelings and moved on. The sun was almost blinding, so I put on my sunglasses and trekked into town.

Lily's town had a nice shopping scene. I wasn't entirely lost on muggle money, and it's a good thing I decided to have some muggle cash on me.

I first stopped in a dress shop, and looked at some things for my trip to Bristol, which was only two weeks away. I picked out a green strapless dress, a navy blue dress, and a strapless gold ruche dress. I was about to check out when I realized that I was going to be spending a week with Chase. And I didn't have that much lingerie.

Well that thought sent me into the women's section. I was sifting through the one pieces when obnoxious giggling distracted me. Annoyed, I looked over the rack, and saw a blonde girl by the checkout counter, flirting with some surfer dude. He leaned across, and bit the gum balloon she was blowing. She laughed, and put her hand on her chest.

Quickly, I grabbed my stuff and headed for the counter, just wanting to get the heck outta there. I plopped down my stuff, huffed, and started sifting through my purse.

"Tracey?" A guy said. I finally located my wallet as the girl rang up the lingerie.

"Come on; don't act like you don't know me." The guy said again, scoffing. I was kind of curious as to who he was talking to so I looked over and saw-

"Loren?" I nearly gasped. Like I said, this guy moves fast. And I forgot that I used the name Tracey. Well as if this day could get any worse.

"Nice seeing you too." He smirked, eyeing my clothes. Perv. Wasn't he just flirting with this girl who's ringing up my stuff? And yes, said girl is giving me the evil eye.

"That will be three hundred and forty pounds." She said. I handed her the cash and she practically snatched it out of my hands. She then shoved my bags towards me and slammed the change on the counter.

Yet I wonder what Loren even sees in this girl.

"Don't worry, hon, he's all yours." I am such a smartass. The girl was speechless as I pranced out.

I tried not to get angry, because really he's a man. He can move on. We weren't anything except a one night stand. But still...

I walked pass a muggle piercing place and an idea suddenly came to me.

To hell with the world. This is my birthday.

* * *

I chickened out. I was about to get my nose pierced but I saw the needle and flipped shit, ran out of the store, and all the way down the street. So maybe I wasn't for the risqué. Maybe I was a little pissed off and mutilating myself seemed like a good idea.

Breathe, Kat, BREATHE.

"Miss, are you okay?" A man stopped and looked at me, clearly concerned. He was probably in his thirties or something, with cropped blonde hair and grey eyes. He looked familiar...

"Yeah, I'm perfectly fine." I smiled and straightened up.

"I have advice for you." He held out his hand and dropped my bag of galleons into my bag. He smiled. "Try not to lose these. Can't have people finding out about us." He winked at me.

Wait a tick...

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I replied, careful not to give away anything.

He laughed loudly.

"Don't worry. I'm Ignatius Malfoy, Co-Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement." I hid a snort.

"Co-Head? I've never such a term." Was it just me, or do the Malfoys always try to make themselves seem bigger than they are?

"Yes, of course you wouldn't." I noticed his voice turn icy. "But I'm sure you have heard of Barty Crouch?"

How could I not?

"Yes. My father is friends with him." My father is friends with the world.

"Who is your father?"

"John Heartfaw." I replied. I was a pureblood too, so this man had nothing on me.

"I know him." Everyone does. "Then you are Katrina, am I right?" I nodded slowly. "Well it was nice meeting you. Your father is a great Healer. Am I to assume that you will follow in his footsteps?"

Uhh... uhh...

"This is your seventh year. Surely you know what you want to do after Hogwarts?"

Well....

Mr. Malfoy sighed and searched his robes. He handed me a small card that had Barty Crouch's and his name.

"Well if you ever feel compelled to join the Magical Law Enforcement, stop by. I'm sure you'd be a great asset. Your father brags about you constantly." Mr. Malfoy tipped his head and walked away.

As if my day could get any weirder! What is it with turning the legal age and everyone wanting to treat you like an adult? Like come on! Yesterday, I was sixteen and hormonal and temperamental. Now, all of a sudden, people want me to make grown up choices!

Well guess what? Screw the world.

I want to have some fun.

* * *

I defintely used my turning of age for this chapter. It's like the second you turn 18, everyone wants to talk about responsibility....and I'm like yea..uh huh. I'm still going to leave you messes in the kitchen, mother.

I swear it's like they forget that yesterday you were seventeen and you trashed the whole house within the hou they were gone.

Anyways, Zoe I love you. Because since I live in AMerica, I am culuturally (and grammatically) challenged. Oh, and I posted a blog and I mentioned you.

To my adoring reviewers: Wow. I freaking love you guys. As I'm writing my chapters, I look at the reviews just to get an inkling on how your feeling. It's a big help, trust me, ESPECIALLY when you want Kat to get to Bristol with Chase.

But that's next chapter :}

lovelovelove,

Megg


	24. Runaway Kitty

So don't kill me for taking forever to write a chapter! I hate my senior year! I have the worst friends, teachers are bitches....

but I am over that now :) I graduate in six weeks so my life is actually pretty solid right now. I haven't written in a while so this chapter might be a little rusty...not like my usual Katrina. But I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Sirius' P.O.V.

"Statistically speaking Katrina is bound to sleep with at least three guys while she is in Bristol." James said to me.

"Right. And you're saying this why?" You would think that your best friend would have something much more comforting to say.

"Well you know..." James mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "She's over you and all so maybe you should move on. Find another girl. One that doesn't block your game."

"She didn't block my game." Which was true. Katrina is very vivacious.

"Yeah yeah...then find one you don't feel so bad about hurting."

"Well I can't do that now. Not after Kat. Besides, that would make me an asshole." James snorted.

"We're man. We are assholes." I laughed.

"I'm telling Lily." I teased.

"Telling me what?" Lily asked as she strolled up to James' deck. James smiled brightly at her.

"That James is an asshole and can only-" I was interrupt by an elbow shove.

"-only ask for forgiveness... my lady." I held back the vomit. Lily just shook her head.

"I cannot believe that Katrina left me with you two."

And I can't believe how messed up this summer is.

"When did she leave?" I asked Lily. Force of habit, really...it's not like i care...

"She left for Bristol early this morning. She said she would call me when she's with Chase." Lily just looked away.

Okay. Maybe I really do care.

"Anyway, it is supposed to rain this Saturday, so I was thinking that we could go to Diagon Alley and buy some books, hang out, and visit the Ministry." Lily said.

"Why would we want to go there?" I asked.

"To look at the career opportunities? Sign up for internships? Come on guys! We graduate this year! We need to at least look, even if it takes five minutes."

"Okay, I give Lily... but only if you buy ice-cream for us." James smiled at Lily and rustled his hair.

"Whatever gets you to go." She said, smiling at James.

"I'm taking that as an okay to consider it a date."

Lily said nothing but smiled.

* * *

Chase's P.O.V.

"You mean...she bailed?" I was so shocked that i could barely speak. Sandra just looked at me sympathetically.

"Sorry Chase. She just apologized profusely saying that she had very important matters to attend to at home." Sandra hugged me quickly.

The thing is that Katrina isn't like other girls. She's unique and mysterious and... I might be in love with her.

"The even worse news is that since Kat can't come, there really is no point in this vacation. Greynor and I broke up too so... it's just you and me pal. How about we go and get some ice-cream from Diagon Alley? Do a little shopping? Hit on some Muggles?" I had to laugh at that last one.

"Sure but let's make it for this Saturday. I'm just tired and I need to think about some things."

"Sounds good to me."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Kat's house....

Dear Mom and Dad,

Wow! I can't believe how cool Bristol is! We've been living in England for so long and I never even been here! There is a lot of shopping and concerts to see! The food is excellent too! The hotel is very classy and it is inspired by Italian artists. Needless to say, no running in the lobby!

Well there is a ton to do on my first day! I'll write soon!

All my love,

Kat

"How sweet!" Mrs. Heartfaw fawned. Her husband was sitting on the couch, just going through papers. "Oh honey... must you go back to the Ministry? You've been working away for quite some time and it's been less stress." Mr. Heartfaw just sighed away.

"It's better pay and Mr. Crouch really needs me in his department. I know I have only worked as an Agent to the Minister but Barty and I go way back, and I have never seen him so stressed. He seems to think there is an evil on the rise and he needs me to help. Two weeks in training and then a shit-load of paperwork and I'll be on my merry way."

"When do you start dear?"

"Hmm..." He looked through some papers. "This Saturday I am to see Mr. Crouch. He should be back from Russia by then."

"Isn't Mark coming home that day too?"

"Yes he is. He actually needs to go to the Ministry too. I don't know why. He hasn't said a word."

"Well, we'll find out eventually."

* * *

Kat's P.O.V

"And these go in the 'Tomorrow Work' box, right?" I asked. Ignatius Malfoy nodded at me and smiled.

"First day of work and you're doing great. Now I know that deskwork is demeaning but Barty is away in Russia on business and he said that he would like to personally evaluate you." He rolled his eyes.

"It's okay. Might as well get some knowledge of this stuff. If Mr. Crouch evaluates me... well... I better know my stuff." Ignatius laughed at me and stood from my desk.

"Good thinking. And hey, if you get this paperwork done early tomorrow, I might sneak you into a training room. You get to see some funny things in there. One time, a wizard actually tripped the perpetrator but stunned the victim! It was a nightmare! Good luck with this."

Oddly, Ignatius Malfoy was very accommodating and very nice. His son was charming too... but just not that great of kisser.

You might be wondering why I am here and not in Bristol.... well... it's just that I didn't feel like going. I feel nothing for Chase anymore but staying with Lily while being around Sirius was a daily torture. At the same time, I couldn't very well go home. Truthfully, Mr. Malfoy's offer to me was on my mind for the majority of my birthday and the rest of that week. By Monday, I made up my mind. I snuck out of Lily's house early in the morning and traded in those slutty dresses into more business savvy outfits. Then I had to lie to Lily, Sandra and Chase, and then my family. Have you ever wanted something that you wanted to keep to yourself? Something that you didn't want to share or jinx or whatever... something that was exclusively yours and no one ever knew about?

That's what this offer is like. I want something entirely to myself.

Around six pm, Ignatius came back with an amazed stare. He was out the entire day dealing with a man who cursed a bartender and then locked himself into a Vanishing cabinet. It took all day to see where he went.

"So Marsha tells me that you completed your workload around eleven o'clock today and then simultaneously finished tomorrow's work and had all the trainee's fill out their paperwork for the training session tomorrow."

"Filed and stamped." I smirked at him. "I think it was first day jitters. I wouldn't expect it that often."

"Hmmm... true. First day jitters and all might be the reason why but I honestly can't remember anyone who organized all the delayed paperwork and filed the case papers from last year. Now Crouch is brilliant and efficient, but paperwork was always left to the desk. Which is probably why we go through them at least eight times a year." Ignatius looked around and laughed. "And the entire office space is actually.... are those picture frames actually hung up?" I just laughed.

"I got bored. And I can't properly say that I'm finished until everything looks neat and presentable." At this point, Marsha, a short and thin woman, waltzed in with a big grin on her face.

"Jim and I couldn't even psych her out. When we told her Mr. Crouch would go nuts over this, she just shrugged and continued to work. I think we have a keeper." Ignatius smiled brightly at me.

"Well, well..." was all he could say. I just laughed.

"Now let's not inflate my ego too much." Marsha and Ignatius laughed too. Then Marsha got an emergency call and scrambled out of the room.

"So do you like it here?" Ignatius asked me. He looked through the books, obviously impressed.

"So far. I'm more of an action person." Ignatius smiled at me.

"Well get here at around seven o'clock tomorrow morning. According to your book, the first training session starts at 7:15." He raised his eyebrows.

"Starting earlier means we have more time at the end of the day. Can you imagine the havoc that will happen tomorrow if one of those trainees let it slip that it's training day?" Ignatius smirked and nodded.

"Fortunately, Mr. Crouch should be arriving tomorrow afternoon. That's when I was officially supposed to start."

"Only you, Kenya, Mark, Tim, and John are going to be running the show. All the desks will be noting instead of the committee. That leaves all the rest of the enforcement ready and alert for emergency calls. I even scheduled three Aurors if things go especially bad."

"And who did you schedule?" Ignatius asked. I walked over to the books and looked at the schedule.

"According to track record, seniority, and availability, I enlisted Alastor Moody, Fabian Prewett, and Celesta Mann."

"Why not both of the brothers?"

"Eh... personal interest, I suppose. Besides, Celesta was more than happy to adhere. I had to beg Fabian and Alastor... well I owe him my soul."

"Okay I give. You obviously know what you are doing. Congrats. You're sure fire and if Mr. Crouch doesn't like you... well he would be crazy." Ignatius looked at his watched and sighed. "Alright we must be going. Be here by seven tomorrow morning. Good night."

I wasn't exhausted. As a matter of fact, there was still light burning on the horizon when I got to the streets. Still, I couldn't think of anything to do except go to the Leaky Cauldron and... call Lily. Tom assured me that he knew how to 'call' someone. It was bustling with people when I walked in. It seems like happy hour was still going strong, odd enough on a Wednesday night.

Tom was running around like crazy, all by himself it seemed.

"Do you need any help?" I yelled towards him. He nodded. I quickly ran upstairs to put my papers away and change into capris and a tank. I grabbed an apron from behind the counter and immediately started filling out drink orders. It continued like this until eight o'clock that night. As it turned out, the man who locked himself in a Vanishing cabinet caused quite an upset in the Ministry. Almost every department had someone there, drinking away like crazy. I noted to myself that I should probably bring hangover tonic tomorrow morning.

"Thank you so much, Kat."

"Eh no big. I was probably going to sit in my room, looking over paperwork I already completed."

"So, the telephone." Tom pulled me to the back room and showed the contraption called a telephone.

"Did she give you any numbers?"

"Ahh, yes." I handed a tiny slip of paper I tucked in my Capri pocket. Soon Tom picked up the phone and started pressing buttons, and held out a piece of the thing to me.

"Okay, talk into this normally. And when you're done, just place it down on the receiver." The what? Tom sighed. "This part." He pointed to something.

All of a sudden, I heard Lily's voice.

"Hello?" She answered the phone.

"Ahem... Lils?" I said.

"Hello?" She said again.

"LILY?"

"WELL WHO IS THIS?" I grimaced and lowered my voice.

"Lils, it's Kat. Lower your damn voice!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Leave it to Lily to scream. I held the phone away.

"YOU CALLED!"

"I said I would..." I mumbled.

"So how is Bristol? How is everything? Are you partying later tonight because it is like eight and you are still in the hotel and like... how is ummm... the hotel anyway?" I figured that the guys were still there. She probably didn't want to mention Chase around Sirius.

"Everything is good. Sandra and I went shopping earlier and Chase is very good. I was just really tired so I slept most of the morning. The hotel is nice... very classy. How are you?"

"I'm just excellent. We're playing charades and then we are going to a muggle bonfire. James seemed very excited." I laughed.

"Probably because he wants to kiss you."

"...shut up..."

"What did she say?" I heard James' voice in the background. Then I heard some fumbling and James asking Lily how 'it' works and next thing I know, I am talking to James Potter.

"Hey Kat! We miss you so much. Remus is bed ridden over this and Lily is sighing every five minutes, telling us that we are idiots. Sirius complains about your absence and-"

"Dude, James... shut up." Sirius' voice sent electric jolts up and down my spine.

"Anyways, around nine we are going to the bonfire... I hear it's very romantic..." The last part he whispered into the phone. I giggled. I miss my friends and it has only been a day.

"My advice is not to push, and don't act weird. Just talk to her. Ten to one, some of those muggle girls will take interest in Sirius and Remus, thereby leaving you two alone. Relax, take a deep breath and just walk and talk. Oh and don't have a fit if another guy talks to her. Just play it cool. Ok?"

"Yeah, thanks Kat. It's very nerve-wracking. But Sirius does miss you, by the way." He was silent after this.

"Yeah I miss him too. Just... umm... well have fun..." I finished awkwardly.

"Kat listen..." James started. I knew what was coming. The talk. You know the one where you feel guilty afterwards for something you thought you've taken care of...

"Katrina! It's starting back up again!" Tom yelled from the bar.

"Who's that?" James inquired.

"It's um... Evan... one of Sandra's friends. We are... um... at a bar, listening to music and the band is starting back up again." Wow I am a very good liar.

"I don't hear music..." James mused.

"Yeah, well I stepped outside to call Lily. So listen I've really got to-"

"Hold on, Remus wants to talk to you." Really, Potter? Cute kid, but really oblivious to the obvious.

"Hey Kat." Remus breathed through the phone. "How are you? This is like the first time we have ever been separated." Remus laughed. At this point I started to dance around, impatient and wanting to get off the phone. I'm one of those people who think they are going to get caught no matter what.

"I know, right?"

"KATRINA! PLEASE!" Tom called again.

"Who is that?" Remus asked.

"Um, it's Eric. I have to go now. I'll call you guys tomorrow."

"Okay Kat. Have a good night."

"You too." And with that I hung up the phone and ran into the bar.

* * *

Sirius P.O.V. again...

"What happened?" James asked before I got a chance to.

"She had to go... said Eric was calling her?"

"Eric?" Lily, James, and I echoed at the same time.

"I thought Evan was with them." James said, very confused.

"It's only supposed to be Katrina, Sandra, Chase, and Greynor. What the hell?" Lily said, mimicking James' confused face.

"There isn't even an Evan or an Eric in that group. What is going on?" I asked out loud, even though I knew no one had the answer.

* * *

Kat's P.O.V again...

"Ahh! Look at that!" I have to say that Ignatius Malfoy is top. He's hilarious, smooth, and charming. He's also very easygoing. Right now, we are sitting in the stands of the training room, watching a trainee get attacked by an offender. It's actually pretty hilarious because he turned the offender into a tree.

"That is some good Transfiguration. He just needs some alert skills. Maybe get some more training in sneak attacks and such." I noted.

"Very good. That is a very solid point."

"Hey Kat!" Jim, Marsha's partner, called me from at the top of the stairs.

"What?" I called back.

"How about you get down there and show them how it is done?" He laughed at this.

"I would love to, but I'm wondering what you are doing here when I scheduled you to be in the office, on call." Ignatius snickered. Jim just scoffed.

"Please, and miss out on this? Come on, smarty pants. Let's see what you got."

"But I already know what's going to come. Hello, I organized all the diagrams and charts?"

"Alright then. I'll challenge you to a real sneak attack. How about you go through the tiny maze and at some point, I'll get you."

"If I do this, will you go back to work?" I inquired.

"Absolutely. Shall we?" He stood up and motioned for the door. I handed Ignatius the paperwork and walked to the top of the seats.

"Just because you're new, doesn't mean I'll go easy on you." Jim said.

"Just because I'm new, doesn't mean I don't know what I am doing." I waltzed past him and entered the training ground.

"Thirty second head start. It'll be the only thirty seconds you have to yourself."

"And it will be the only thirty seconds you will be safe." I countered.

Somewhere, in all the files I recorded and the books I read, I knew a very successful tactic that was difficult but always guaranteed a win. It's called the Switch. See, when you know you are being watched or hunted, you have to play possum. Be obvious and lead them to you, but don't let down your guard. Once you have seen them or have an inkling of their direction, that's where you switch. You go for them.

I have the upper hand in the Switch. Since I am new, Jim will take my obviousness as stupidity.

In my first thirty seconds, I ran like lightening through the maze, marking with my wand exits and dead ends. Again, I have an advantage because I saw the diagram. I also sought out potential switch grounds. Switch can only work if you can hide and they can't. My last thing I did in my thirty seconds is to throw random twigs on the ground. This will make enough noise for Jim to find me.

My own personal timer went off and it was show time.

With my adrenaline rushing and my will to not be embarrassed or defeated, I walked deftly slow and stomped on every branch I could. I rustled bushes and I even breathed loud. Before I knew it, I caught a glimpse of Jim.

Right in my potential ground.

I stooped low behind a bush and took a rock and threw it opposite of me. Jim made the obvious move towards the rock.

I couldn't believe how perfectly it worked for me. But I didn't want to waste time, so without hesitation, I silently casted a stunning spell and-

WHAM!

Jim's body feel to the ground.

I heard clapping in the distance, but I hurried to make sure he was alright. I took the stun off and helped him up. Surprisingly, Jim was grinning.

"Good job newbie. You've just impressed the boss." He glanced to the stands where a figure sat on the bench next to Ignatius Malfoy, clapping with everyone else.

It was Barty Crouch.

The closer I got, I could not believe that such a dirty and unorganized room belonged to him. Everything was fine-combed... even his moustache! There wasn't a wrinkle in his outfit and even his teeth were perfectly white and straight.

Ignatius spoke as soon as I was in hearing distance.

"Mr. Crouch, this is the famous Katrina. The one who organized everything."

"And the one who just beat one of our best employees. Congratulations on it, Katrina. Using the Switch was a very good move."

"Why, thank you." I said politely. "I just cannot even believe I did beat him. Did you let me win?" I asked Jim. He snorted.

"I could say yes but I really didn't. I took your obviousness-"

"-as stupidity. Yes, I was hoping for that." Ignatius and Mr. Crouch exchanged a glance.

"So Katrina, how would you like to start training in here?" Ignatius asked me, smiling.

"Wait, what?" I was very surprised.

"Well you did say you liked action." Ignatius started.

"And this is your last year of schooling. It's best to get a head start on your career. Besides, did you want to do deskwork all summer?"

"Eh, no?" I said, still in shock.

"Then it is settled. You'll go through training this week and you'll get your first test Saturday. Nothing big, just going through the motions, so to speak. And then you can shadow me for the rest of the summer."

"Sounds good. Great, even. Thank you so much." Mr. Crouch held out his hand and I shook it.

"No, no, thank you. Difficult times are coming up and we need the very best. Come to my office after the training sessions and we will talk hours and pay."

"Pay?" Processing this information will take a while.

"Yes, of course. We pay for training time and what not. About sixteen galleons an hour, possibly sixty hours a week."

Holy shit.

"Okay." Was all I could muster. My father earns more than me, but he never got that wage starting off.

"Please continue running the show and get back to work Jim. Thank you for volunteering."

Wait...

"What?" Seriously?

Jim just laughed.

"Mr. Crouch wanted to see if you had any skills so he asked me if I would volunteer to get you out on the field."

"Yes, yes, but we are wasting time so get with it boy, will you?" Mr. Crouch followed him out and Ignatius smiled at me.

"Congratulations. Training with the Head of a department? That is a real honor. I bet your parents will be very proud." At this I looked down. "What's wrong?" Ignatius asked, concerned.

"It's just that...no one knows I am here. I've had a rough year at Hogwarts and my personal life is in bits and I needed time away from everyone... including my parents. I'm seventeen. I can do what I want. You know, Mark, my brother, he moved out the day he got out of Hogwarts. I've never given any thought of what I wanted to do before you came to me. It was like... you were sent to me, you know?" Ignatius just laughed.

"Being young is rough enough. I remember my years at Hogwarts and it was drama, drama, drama. Hell, just going for a walk with the wrong girl caused drama. Everything is so intricate and so well played out, you know? Nothing is ever what it seems. I hated having the same lifestyle everyday so I joined the Magical Law Enforcement. I don't know what I'll be doing when I wake up in the morning, I don't know if I'll live to see the next day, and I don't know if someone I know will be dead or alive. But that is this life. My wife passed away young because of an illness, and all I have left is a son. If I die, than I know that I can at least promise him a comfortable living."

"Wow. I've never thought of... dying."

"It happens to everyone. And as cheesy as it sounds, but when the time comes, can you honestly say that you have lived your life to the fullest?"

Ignatius Malfoy: my new friend. I look at him through different eyes now. Before, he was the father of Lucius. Now, he is someone entirely new to me. Someone who can help me out. And in a way, he already had.


End file.
